So I'm in the kitchen preparing lunch for the boys while my six year old Dalton is emptying the dishwasher.  Declan walks in asking Dalton to check his back for ticks. Why, I don't know.  I picked him up from school and he wasn't outside at all.  I think it has to do with Declan just being nervous about them from a past experience.

Dalton can't find anything but Declan wants us to find something as his back itches.  I tell him to turn around so I can look.  I begin looking up and down his back.  "Oh there's one..." I say.  WHACK! I slap him on the bare skin of the back.  "Dad! You don't slap ticks!" exclaims Declan.  Then my younger son chimes in as he is standing on his stool in the kitchen back at work...  "Good one Dad! High Five!"  I immediately start to laugh, look at Declan while pointing at Dalton with a smirk so that Declan gets how funny I found Dalton being hilarious once again.  And of course I give Dalton his obligatory high-five.

It's the little things in life.  You wonder why I enjoy my life with my boys.  These are the reasons. 

Of course not every moment is funny.  There are times when they make me smile because I see what we've built together will mean something to them when I'm gone.

It's the little things that count.  And believe me, at the moment,   more »

I made this video. It's my first. I did it for personal reasons.  I hope you all enjoy it.  It's dedicated to everyone that has ever been apart from someone deserving of love.


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I'm having a bit of trouble functioning this morning.  Not because I came down with the flu two days ago.  And as usual, I don't discuss my private life's details here.  But it's one of those days that I wish I were every bit the rugged intellectual that I've claimed to be.

Some times life puts stresses on you that you can't talk about to a soul.  That's happened with me recently and it's culminating in today.  I have this pit in my stomach that has left me with blank emotion. I've got no interest in food nor have I been able to type five words without being distracted by what bothers me.

I've made some decisions lately that frankly make me angry at myself and all I can do is eat crow.  Just like everyone else on the  planet, I make mistakes.  I've prided myself on not making the same ones twice.  I've prided myself on being tougher than tough.  I've grown to what I've become to recognize in the mirror as a rugged intellectual. Someone my kids can look up to and I can respect.    Today I'm not that guy and I'm furious with fate.

Now it's time to go be that man I've become and stop thinking I'm something... ?
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Men and Women are different.  I happen to be a man.  Since I was a child I've often thought of the relationships between us all.  Men and men, men and women.  It was important to me to have a best buddy when I was younger simply because I wanted someone to play with.  Childhood had it's ups and downs, but mostly it was difficult.   From my surroundings ...my own social skills  - I had to cross a lot of bridges.  In time I found that women offered men an element to friendship that men can't offer men (unless you are homosexual - not part of this discussion).

I think it was ninth grade at Christiana High School.  Chip and Beth would sit at the lunch table and as average as they were, I could see something between them that wasn't average and it that made me envious.  It was that something that only a couple can share.  Sure two guys can talk about anything and we do, but it's that extra spark a woman gives a man and hopefully a man gives a woman that was something I longed to have. And as you can see in the picture, I've enjoyed my moments of feeling loved 'that much'.  May every man and woman reading be rewarded with 'love'.  The honest type that people get from just being with 'the right' person.

Now if you know me, I'm a reformed idealist.  I'm a compromisationalist.  My friend Loz Netto introduced me to that term.   Yet for the most part, I don't compromise my my values.  You may have read past articles where I've quoted friends saying to me, "You probably shit morals don't cha Lars."  Equally important is the path I want to take on life.  I don't settle.  I'll do without if I can't do it right.  Along the way I thought I did things right only to have the rug pulled from under me and that's life.  And because of 'life' I learned compromise was part of the deal.  The question was how much?  Even in the past two months I found out how I've been taken advantage of and subsequently that problem spilled over into the lives of others.  I can't even be angry at anyone but I'd like to be.  Some things you can't fix, you just have no choice but to accept them.  Like my divorce.  Which leads me to the point of Men verses Women. That title is a little misleading.  This article is about how men and women dance clever.  You see we are different and seek the same goals, but somehow we end up at odds with each other when things don't have that storybook ending.  And I have news for you... very few of us are fortunate enough to get the storybook ending.

I have a host of female readers here.  My male readership is spread out among friends but many male readers stop by looking for help in divorce or custody and other such matters.  I write these articles because men need help, not because I hate women.  I don't hate women.  I've never once joked when saying "Women are the greatest of all God's creations."  I mean that.  I teach my children to respect women and have been indoctrinating my eldest son since 10 on how to treat a female with respect physically, emotionally and socially. 

However women should be deftly aware that as a man, I have been drug through the legal system by a woman that to this day practices duplicitous acts in an effort to gain what she wants.  My point here is that I'm reminded daily that good and evil lurk within the same breath.   Can men be evil and bad? Of course they can.  Many men are.  Wars are created by men.  You'll never have to teach me about how bad men can be and have been ...or will be. 

Women fight too.  They fight in a different way. Because physical violence is not always manifest in the ways women fight, women can   more »

Today was the first time I returned to the gym in a month.  Like a fool.  I think I have come down with the flu. I won't say why.  But in defiance I decided to hit the gym as I thought I had an oblique strain.  Turns out I have a hernia.  A lot makes sense now.

So upon leaving the gym I skate across the street to my son's school to watch him get in the bus.  I am a camera.  I had to just soak up the moment because I recall Declan at this age.  Now Dalton is beginning to leave that cute stage entering a childhood phase where everything changes. 

As he walked out of the school and stood in line with his classmates I slow played every moment. I noticed the bounce in his step, the hair on his head and the smile I got when he saw me.  Not many parents have a chance to be at school and see their children in a moment like this.  I don't take it for granted. 

Life is fleeting.  I've had some rotten breaks, I had bad things happen to me.  They mean nothing.  What I find most important beyond my skating and eating right all my bravado of life is short to live it fully...  I value my boys.  Just being a father is more than enough should I have nothing else.  And frankly, we don't have much.  But we are so happy.
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I must say, I'm a big fan of Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog.  Me and my boys have the soundtrack and sing in the car all the time.  When it won at the Emmy's it put a smile on my face.  It's great to see Neil Patrick Harris reprise the role for a bit on the Emmy's as well. Check it out.





Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog won an Emmy too for Most Incomprehensible Category also known as Short Format Live Action Entertainment Program.  There WILL be a Dr. Horrible Part Two! Joss Whedon confirmed it on a conference call on Thursday. He says he may go with a bigger budget and more stars, if he does or not it won't change the storyline.   more »

I think this is my favorite of all the Auto Tune News vids.  I like them all, they crack me up when I need a laugh. 

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I've got a rant to make, and if you are a woman please read carefully.  Men are people too.  I'm really tired of this 'women' do everything talk.  You could have said this 40 years ago, but in today's agenda based society it's getting old. 

Women can't proclaim in one voice they are equal to men and in the other claim they do everything.  Look at President Obama's wife Michelle.  In a speech to representatives of "Women's Chamber of Commerce" and "National Council of Negro Women" she proclaims, "Women are the ones to do it," in reference to taking care of families needs from family illness to check-books.

Before I whip out the cute quips like, "What data does she have to support this?"  I'd like to discuss rationally why are men so crapped on?  Seriously.  Walk a mile in our shoes.  Oh sure we can go out and play football or chop down a tree then hang out with the guys and talk macho bullshit over a beer, and all that other stereotypical nonsense but god forbid anyone let alone a women recognize a man as a functional family member or decent human being. 

I know, I've been through it, and I go through it.  I had someone use the 'gender' card in the same way people use the 'race' card to further their agenda.

Meanwhile we men are expected to just 'take it' otherwise any response or form of dissension WILL be labeled as hostile.  We men read this tripe in the papers or see it on the news and we bite our tongues.  We have no choice.  To speak up is to be "chauvinistic." I'm betting by the time you are done reading this if you are woman,   more »

And Israel will bomb Iran's 7 nuclear installations this year.  Who will be first to the punch?  As usual no one in America is paying attention.  Why?

Maybe you work as a lower middle income redneck that gets no more news than from watching Jerry Springer in the late afternoon, but if you are at all the slightest bit informed you should be aware that Iran has been quietly building a nuclear bomb - and they intend to use it.   AP reports that the IAEA confirms Iran has a "secret annex" supporting their program to build a nuclear warhead now.

— The IAEA’s assessment that Iran worked on developing a chamber inside a ballistic missile capable of housing a warhead payload “that is quite likely to be nuclear.”

— That Iran engaged in “probable testing” of explosives commonly used to detonate a nuclear warhead — a method known as a “full-scale hemispherical explosively driven shock system.”

— An assessment that Iran worked on developing a system “for initiating a hemispherical high explosive charge” of the kind used to help spark a nuclear blast.

The IEA continues in it's report:  “The agency … assesses that Iran has sufficient information to be able to design and produce a workable implosion nuclear device (an atomic bomb) based on HEU (highly enriched uranium) as the fission fuel.”

Yes, Iran has been telling the world for the past three years that they are exploring their right to create alternative energy but if you are like me and sleep with one eye open, you have been paying attention to details. When people show the propensity for terrorist activity, and make terrorist threats, you can't ignore them.

Here is what you should know.  The reformist (specifically Mousavi) lost the recent Iranian presidential election in a fix.  The President of Iran (Mahmoud Ahmadinejad) WAS one of the students that kidnapped the American's from our embassy for over a year back in 1979. He has been positively identified by hostage Chuck Scott a retired Army Colonel, "You could make him a blond and shave his whiskers, put him in a zoot suit and I'd still spot him."  Other former hostages have ID'd him as well. Ahmadinejad is a noted torturer (Evin Prison)  and often delivered the 'finishing shot' in political executions within his own country.  He has tasted blood and is callous to murder.  Look you don't rise to President in Iran with the support of the Mullahs without being notorious in their causes.  Most of all,   more »

When words are scarce, they are seldom spent in vain.

Who said this ... ?
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There is not much I get bent out of shape about, but as the Tila Tequila (real surname is Nguyen) & Shawne Merriman question mark unfolds I can't help but smell a rat. Days after she was examined by paramedics and the San Diego Sheriff's Department she conveniently wears a short sleeved shirt seeking out paparazzi to photograph her. But what else could we expect from a has been ex-realty show (MTV) has been?

If you are not familiar with the story, here is a quick run-down. On September 7, 2009 San Diego Charger Linebacker Shawn Merriman is arrested at around 3:45 am at his San Diego home. Her side... He tried to choke and restrain her from leaving his home. His side, he tried to stop her from leaving while drunk.

I am on record as stating I have my doubts of Tequila's story, but even if everything she said about the incident is true, she's handled it like the attention ho many have said she is.

Since she placed him under (of all things) citizens arrest, she has done nothing to lay low or nurse her wounds or seek counseling or do anything a victim would generally do. Instead she of all things "Tweeted" about it within hours. Meanwhile Jan Caldwell (Public Information Officer) in a stand-up interview outside the Sheriff's Department stated, "Our deputies did not notice any physical injuries on her. He was taken into custody because she filed a citizens arrest; and by law we have to do that. "

Merriman quickly issued his own statement through his attorney. "There have been no charges filed against me. I want to thank the San Diego Sheriff's Department for their professionalism. I will continue to cooperate fully with the Department."

Since that time, Tequila has been on ...   more »

I've often asserted the journey is the reward in life.  Reaching your goal can be bitter sweet.  Experiencing your goal is where the value is.   I'm not alone in this thinking.   Check out this story:

The Black Belt

A parable tells about a martial artist who kneels before a master sensei in a ceremony to receive the hard-earned Black Belt. After years of relentless training, the student has finally reached a pinnacle of achievement in the discipline.

"Before granting the belt, you must pass one more test," the sensei solemnly tells the young man.

"I'm ready," responds the student, expecting perhaps one more round of sparring.

"You must answer the essential question: What is the true meaning of the Black Belt?"

"Why, the end of my journey," says the student. "A well-deserved reward for my hard work."

The master waits for more. Clearly, he is not satisfied. The sensei finally speaks: "You are not ready for the Black Belt. Return in one year."

As the student kneels before his master a year later, he is again asked the question, "What is the true meaning of the Black Belt?"

"It is a symbol of distinction and the highest achievement in our art," the young man responds.

Again the master waits for more. Still unsatisfied, he says once more: "You are not ready for the Black Belt. Return in one year."

A year later the student kneels before his sensei and hears the question, "What is the true meaning of the Black Belt?"

This time he answers, "The Black Belt represents not the end, but the beginning, the start of a never-ending journey of discipline, work and the pursuit of an ever higher standard."

"Yes," says the master. "You are now ready to receive the Black Belt and begin your work."

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The papers report that assaults on men by women are on the rise.  But do the statistics tell the real story?  Let's start with the foundation of this story.

*September 7th 2009, Morning Sentinel (Kennebec Maine U.S.) staff writer Larry Grard pens article of domestic assaults by women increasing. He cites data by Department of Public Safety.  He found that numbers have been increasing from year 2003 through 2008.  Last year in Maine the total number women arrested was 1,067.  That was SPECIFICALLY regarding domestic assault.  Not shoplifting or lewd conduct.  Domestic assault.   The numbers are up by 300 since 2003, an 8 percent increase.  That's not a small number.

So being a man that has been on the receiving end of the 'big lie' -- you know, the one where a woman says you are an ax murderer (usually behind your back) but in fact you just took her flowers for the umpteenth time - well I had to look into this.  I found that the police are the key to unlocking the answer.  How police interpret law and respond to domestic calls is where everything rests.

Larry's article in the Morning Sentinel  is a just one more small voice of reason but more and more men are learning to understand that no matter how much you love a woman -- Venus has a dark side.  Human's have the ability to be good and evil all in the same breath. I've said this many times.  The key to understanding that sentiment is that it's not exclusive to men.  For too long the cause of incidents where men are recorded as victims and women as perpetrators have been ignored.  Is this the start of  where we can say to that, "Not anymore"?

The *article I cite underscores my point with quotes from police and public safety officials. 

Sheriff Barry DeLong: "I think police officers are more attuned to it.  In the past, it wasn't even looked at. Domestic violence is for everybody now."

Commissioner of Depart of Public Safety Ann Jordan: "Ten Years ago many men would not come forward because of the stigma involved."

Upon investigating this phenomena further I found that not only in Maine are the numbers up on women being arrested for domestic abuse, but its the same across the U.S..  In fact I even found the same results as far as Australia where a staggering 159 percent increase of women being arrested on domestic abuse has taken place over the past eight years.  That's just physical abuse, not mental, or otherwise.

I was victim ...    more »

I met a girl many years ago.  She was one of those types you never meet again, were it not for being a bit undependable.  You see she had a boyfriend yet was crazy about me. And I didn't know she had a boyfriend when we met.  I spent a little bit of time trying to get her to make a move.  We kissed, we met a few times for walks outside my office which was out in countryside of Yorklyn Delaware.  As much as I liked her, I wasn't a fool.  I was VP of Marketing for the company I worked for and it offered me the chance to meet new people on appointments.  It was then I met another girl. 

I realized I needed to make a decision and date just one girl as both were relationship types. Ms Undependable was beginning to tell me of how she thought I was the perfect man and that I was that kind of guy every girl waits for to come along.  But... my instinct was dialed to alert.  I just knew if I stuck with her she'd break my heart and wouldn't leave 'the boyfriend'. 

If she wasn't leaving him, I wasn't going to wait for her to get caught and hook up with me because she was left with me. So I thought of the future and told her where my mind was at.  I told her that I had met someone else and that this other girl was someone as dependable as she was kind.  I told her I wasn't going to wait around for her.   So I moved on with my integrity and dignity intact.  Eventually I left the other girl too.  I broke her heart badly but not as bad as I would have if I'd ...   more »

Something good happens in your life.  Something bad happens...   Isn't it funny how we reflect on either and the story we tell in recanting how it came to pass always seems to come down to "one thing"?   But really, is it ever really one thing?

OK, if you hit the winning home run.  You could say you got a good pitch; that can be one thing. You can explain to a child that the sky is blue because the sun's light passing through out atmosphere reflects the blue waves, but then a child will insist on more such as what scatters the blue waves?  Why don't other colors scatter?  The list goes on.  And why? Because it's never "one" thing that is the cause of our outcomes.  I'm sure there are exceptions but in reality I believe it is not always, "one thing". 

A couple will place a camera on a rock in the wilderness to take a photo of themselves.  As the camera counts down and the moment arrives, a squirrel will curiously pop up in the frame as the photo is taken. What "one thing" will occur to make that happen? The answer is - no one thing occurred.  Everything that led that couple to that rock was met equally be a lifetime in that squirrels life where they intersected. No one thing brought them to the photo, but it sure is one amazing moment.

Your wife may cheat on you.  You could sum it up as one thing; "She was selfish".  But really, could there have been just one thing that lead her to that act of betrayal?

You may fall on hard times and steal something to make ends meet.  Would it be one thing that made you do it?  Would you minimize the act describing yourself as a person without a moral compass?  Because even the best among us fail.

The career you have.  Was that something you fell into by "one thing"?  Was there something defining that made you a banker or musician?  No.  It's never one thing.  ...   more »

4-3 lead in the 9th.  What do you do?  You say...  "I know my closer has lost umpteen games for this year, but I have to build his confidence." 

Yeah right.

Final score 5-4 with Brad Lidge coming in and either walking batters or giving up hits.   Mark my words, if the Phils continue with Lidge in post season as closer, they will lose by his hand.  He has had enough time to get back on track.  You can't wait forever and there is too little time for him to demonstrate consistency before the post season begins.  It's over.  Please save us from suffering him any more this year.  He can try again next season but don't blow our post season using him.
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Um...  If you have not noticed, there is a big flack going around lately.  You wouldn't know it if you rely on evening news and other mainstream outlets.  What's up?  Well, there is a guy by the name of Van Jones.  He works in the Obama administration.  OK... so? 

Well, the big news is the centered around the videos embedded in this article.  To put them into context read on...

What's the controversy? 
Well....  Van Jones was appointed by President Obama to his Czar position Special Advisor for Green Jobs overseeing 30 billion dollars in stimulus funds.   His qualifications?  Among them is being an activist for left wing causes.  Van Jones was previously a member of STORM (Standing Together to Organize a Revolutionary Movement), a group explicitly committed to revolutionary Marxist politics.  That put him on the radar of right wing attack dogs.  I see the cause for concern, but I can always give people one or two blemishes before I start passing judgment.  But when Glenn Beck spoke up about Van Jones, it seemed Obama supporters began attacking Beck with a lot of anger.  This only raised the lighting on Van Jones.  People started digging.  Bloggers found the following videos below.  After posting them the uproar began on all the Internet blogs and alternate news outlets. 

Then...

Byron York of The Washington Examiner reported on September 4, 2009 the following:

Total words about the Van Jones controversy in the New York Times: 0.
Total words about the Van Jones controversy in the Washington Post: 0.
Total words about the Van Jones controversy on NBC Nightly News: 0.
Total words about the Van Jones controversy on ABC World News: 0.
Total words about the Van Jones controversy on CBS Evening News: 0.

What is the controversy over ...   more »

If you follow me on Twitter, you know I tweeted my son was voted class representative and is running for student body Vice President.  He's in middle school.  He earned his votes for representative with platform ideas he thought of well in advance as he encountered them in his previous school year.  This is a new school, he'd have to learn the agenda of the new culture he is in to really be successful.

On the third of school he unwittingly came across a platform idea specific to the school. 

This new school is "really strict".  He enjoys the structure but like all kids, wants some wiggle room and opportunities to be responsible.  One of the strict rules which the kids have not embraced is that no one can go to the bathroom without an escort.  This of course keeps the halls clear of kids goofing off and getting into trouble. The kids object to this rule.  My son understands its purpose.

While driving home from school today we talk about this very funny protest that happened today in his class.  He inadvertently caused it.  Upon asking to go to the bathroom the teacher committed a mistake from frustration with a bad choice of words.  Wanting to eliminate rolling requests for bathroom breaks during class she hastily announced, "Anyone wanting to use the bathroom, go now."  The entire class of 30 students collectively walked out the door to the bathroom. 

I can only imagine the look on her face as the room emptied in front of her.

My son got a better understanding of platforms as the needs of constituents.  Some are on a local level, others affect broader numbers.  But ultimately he learned he must help the less fortunate fight for their right to pee!

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From the why not category, you will enjoy this. Promise.

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