Today after work me and the boys did something we don't often do.  Play a video game in the summer. 

We played bowling and golf on the Wii.  It started with me watching the boys play while I'm cooking dinner.  My five year old is beating my 11 year old again and again.  It's getting funny because he really is winning on his own.  So they taunt me into playing.  After dinner we play bowling and I win.  Beginners luck.  My eldest is upset as he lost is shiny bowling ball from pro ranking as he came in last behind our youngest.  It was funny.  Then we play golf.  I won again. True beginners luck.  But what I found really funny was once again our five year old came in second.  And I gotta tell you, he loves to beat his brother.  It is his lot in life.  LOL  We didn't play long.  It was movie night.  Labyrinth with Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie.  A story about an older sister that resents her little brother and wishes the Goblins would just take him away.  So they do.  She then has to trek through a labyrinth to the goblin king's castle to retrieve her baby brother after realizing her mistake. 

Sometimes I watch these movies from not so long ago and I remember flashes of my own life before being married, before having children. It was another life.  I sit with my arms around both boys and I am still in awe how my son's say "Dad" and it puts a smile on my face.    For them the fun was in the fact we have movie night, for me it is simply being able to spend time with them.  I suppose we all are enjoying the same thing in our own way.

I can't change what has brought me to this point in my life.  God knows it's not what I hoped for.  I realize in the years to come my sons will move on, one at a time they will have lives that won't revolve around me.  I accept that; for I will have had now.