Very few songs reach me like this one does.  I think the reason is that hearing it takes me back to the most innocent and youngest days when romance and love was real to me.

I remember being fourteen years old walking down a a dirt path crossing my creek leading back home... "I never thought I could feel this way and I got to say I just don't get it... I don't know where we went wrong but the feelings gone and I just can't get it back."

I'd imagine the singer (Gordon Lightfoot) talking to that woman he loved so dearly but somehow everything they ever felt had somehow vanished.  It seemed impossible to me because the way he sang.. He was still so in love.  There was so much passion and honesty in his voice... and there was also... utter loneliness.  You get overwhelmed by the isolation he projects.    I remember once the day someone took the fun out of being alone.   I remember finally understanding loneliness and not just being alone. 

At the age of 14 who hasn't felt that feeling.  Now.. older.... married and divorced... I sometimes notice while skating in the park.  I'm that boy singing those words.  Every verse now ..."And I will never be set free as long as I'm a ghost that you can't see"  I catch myself and remember where I'm at.   Private moments where private feelings give you away are something you have to rope in quickly.  It's good to know that some songs can still capture your heart and feelings.  For me this is one of them.  I enjoy being that ghost and hero.   Most of all I enjoy knowing that some songs project such imagery that they can take you back in time to a better place ...   more »

"Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory.  Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat."

-Sun Tzu

"Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory.  Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat."

-Sun Tzu

How many friends do you have in your "circle of friends"?  I think about mine and how in the past two years mine seems to be ever expanding.  From the people I've met in Manhattan on my trips there, to the friends I've made through little league, to the ....ahem.. friends I've made at the local park across the street from my home.  Then there is my existing network of friends and how they all cross paths.  It's such a small world.  There are other friends I've met from other social outlets but I'll stop there, you get the point.

I think of so many sayings about friends and I've come to realize no matter the friend you have, we seem to limit ourselves to how much time we give to select friends.  I suppose that is why many of us marry.  I've learned that the best I can give a woman is my time, not my friendship.  Which for some go hand in hand, but frankly in this modern world, the word friend is a blur and to many people time is all they need from you.  You could say that some friends mistake time for friendship. 

Let's say a friend visits me. They don't need me to do anymore than be a good listener, confidant and kind soul.  To this end I'm a friend and my time is a commodity.  With too many friends... how much can I give?

I'm a man that values the time I have to myself.  I out-right covet it.  When I was married, I sold out. (I won't got there as that story is so annoying to bring up let alone think about.)   So few of us can do that (sell out) and get away with it.   My close friends get to know me.  They know ...   more »

"The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."

-Albert Einstein

Today I have to recommend InlinePlanet.com.  OK... it's not for everyone.  But if enjoy the out-of-doors and do any inline skating.  This is the ultimate resource.  Great discussions, articles, resources and overall great way to understand how to do things better, make good purchases etc....

http://www.inlineplanet.com

Skate Baby!

From double pushes to carving... the average person could care less.  But somewhere over the years I began to really enjoy inline skating to what end I think it goes to overall health.  I recall buying my wife a smart looking pair of Salomon's.   So I'm fairly certain this is not a fad for me that I just considered recently.  And of course the people closest to me own inlines too.   They know who they are. :)

What's the deal?  Like I said... a long time ago it came down to health.  A whole lot of it. From being a great way to stay slim, to building stamina and for me... building strength in my ankles as I've had four ankle sprains on each ankle over my lifetime.   It gets you outside.  It allows you to see a lot of the world.  I mean you get from point A. to point B. quicker but not so fast that you can't enjoy it. 

It's a slow process.  The first thing you do is buy the dang things.  Of course buy some knee pads and wrist guards.  While you are learning wear elbow pads and a helmet.  With kids... they MUST wear one. 

Now you have a start.  Set small goals.  Think "Today I'll skate to this place and back."  Do this for a couple weeks and over time your stamina builds not to mention your confidence of not falling etc...

In time you'll develop your own interests.   If you like jumping barrels you can stick with your Modell's or Dick's sporting good specials.  But if you like to dance or cut small curves to do tricks then you'll want a pair of aggressive skates.  These have smaller wheels,  and the boot is compact and sturdy for support.  It's like an ice-hockey skate to ...   more »

For anyone in my age-group you get that joke. :)

So what's my point?  Just thought I'd share that my kids and I are in for round two of summer baseball.  I volunteered to manage an All-Star team for a Special Games tournament.  The next three days we practice and next week we have almost a game a week.  Our first practice was today and it was a thrill.  So many kids from teams I played against now under my wing for a brief week of excitement in baseball.   On top of that, my youngest starts his second summer league the very next week, great timing.   Summer is way too short.   On top of all this... my boys and I have our vacation coming up.   It's just an overall good feeling.  My kids and baseball, and I get to be a part of it. Everyone should be so lucky.

When we had to sell the house due to divorce I had to plan a future carefully.  There is a lot at stake.   I decided to go lean and mean the next year while staying close to the area I plan to live in longer term.  One thing I thought of was the things I enjoy doing.  So with me and the boys being members at the Y, it made sense to be close.  And our Blockbuster and our park... and... etc....  After skating all over Manhattan this last weekend you'd figure I'd be half dead but tonight was especially cool.  Skated to the park, read a book.  Skated over to the Y and took a kickboxing class, then lifted weights etc...  Then skated down to the grocery and bought single server cherry and chocolate ice-cream. LOL.  I had to splurge. Skated home.  Not a drop of gas paid for. 

Imagine if we made accommodations on our roads for bikes and skaters.  We'd be in better shape, we'd spend less on gas and life in general would be a bit more friendly.  A guy can dream can't he?

Here is my take.  If you know me, I'm a Republican.  I'm center on social issues. 

My vote is up for grabs.  I have never voted Democrat for President, not because I don't want to, it's just where my votes happened to have gone in the past.  I won't vote on one issue either.  However one issue is hot for me, that is oil and gas.  More specifically how we are powering our vehicles.  If you've read my past articles I think corn is being wasted on ethanol and hybrids are a stop-gap but no solution.  We can go electric and some companies have.

We have a plant here in Delaware that can be converted to an electric car assembly line.  Jobs for Delaware, less... scratch that NO dependency on foreign oil.  Let the Saudis swim in their oil and keep it.  

Our country being great is not my agenda.  It's about a number of things.  Doing the right thing by our planet, saving our economy and not being dependent on other countries for our own well being.  

Our next President needs to figure this out.  Our next President needs to do more than talk change, they need to make it happen.  Obama talks a great game, but I'm not thrilled on substance.  McCain talks a weak game but strangely enough has offered more ideas.   But neither has offered the right solution.  When they both snipe each other by putting down the others ideas.... that bothers me. 

Mr. McCain and Mr. Obama... I'm looking for your ideas and offerings, not your put downs.  Put up or shut up is how I work. 

I'd love to read this article two years from now and see if ANYTHING has changed other than the price of gas.  None of us have a crystal ...   more »

Today I met with the head of the Republican Party.  Nice guy.  We looked over the maps and what my agenda is and how I could help in my community.  And that is really where I'm at. 

I'm not your typical Republican and apparently that fits in to the quality of your standard Delaware voter.  The rest I won't discuss as good planning is where I am now.  I'd rather get things done and tell you about it later than pop-off here about how I'm going to get from point A to point B. 

Ultimately I will run for office to serve my community, how I'll cope with the political side of getting things done is no mystery.  I get how the system works but not entirely.  That is where I am now.   It is like driving a car for the first time.  You've seen it done for a very long time, but there is still an apprehension to get by when you take the wheel for the first time.

I have to send you to YouTube.com for this one.  But it's worth it.

"It's all about the dum dum duda dum dum!"

http://youtube.com/watch?v=klouwuNbrNg&feature=related

I'd like to dedicate this song to one person I know and she knows who she is.  After all I know that money is the key to everything.  Everything. 

"It's all about the dum dum duda dum dum!"

Sometimes I find another world
inside my mind
when I realise
the crazy things we do
It makes me feel ashamed to be alive
It makes me wanna run away and hide

It's all 'bout the money
It's all 'bout the dum dum.......
And I don't think It's funny
to see us fade away
It's all 'bout the money
It's all 'bout the dum dum...
and I think we got it all wrong anyway

We find strange ways of showing
them how much we really care
when in fact
we just don't seem to care at all
This pretty world
is getting out of hand
So tell me how we fail to understand?

It's all 'bout the money
It's all 'bout the dum dum.......
And I don?t think It?s funny
to see us fade away
It's all 'bout the money
It's all 'bout the dum dum...
and I think we got it all wrong anyway
Anyway

Cause it's all 'bout the money

It's all 'bout the money
It's all 'bout the dum dum...
And I don't think it's funny
to see us fade away
It's all 'bout the money
It's all 'bout the dum dum...
and I think we got it all wrong
Anyway

It's all 'bout the money
It's all 'bout the dum dum...
And I don't think it's funny
to see us fade away
It's all 'bout the money
It's all 'bout the dum dum......   more »

Here is something I think everyone will enjoy.  Next time your at a nice hotel, make this call about 12:30 or 1 am in the morning.  It's worth it for the sheer laugh value...

"Hello room service?"

"Yes, this is room service."

"Yes, please send up a can of whipped cream."

I can't tell you how incredibly funny this is.  If you really got nerve... call back in an hour and ask for another. :)  The look on their faces is priceless.

NOTE: Many thanks to the staff at the Millennium UN!

Reaching back in my mind there were so many days when the band practiced and we'd roll over this drum beat in the drum machine.  Our Bassist of all people would pick up an acoustic guitar and I'd start singing Waiting For That Day.   It broke my heart to sing it and you could tell because it sounded damn good.  I didn't like to sing covers and we played few.  But we played a hell of a lot of them in practice.  This song hit a nerve in me so often as I understood the words first hand.  "Come back, come back, oooh come back to me darling.  I will make it worth your while. Come come back to your baby I miss your kiss, I miss your smile."

"Don't you keep me waiting for that day.  I know I know I know you hear these words I say."  I'd think somehow when I sung them that I was reaching through space and time and she would hear me.  Love is grand.

So every day I see you in some other face
They crack a smile, talk a while
Try to take your place
My memory serves me far too well

I just sit here on this mountain thinking to myself
Youre a fool boy
Why dont you go down
Find somebody
Find somebody else
My memory serves me far too well

Its not as though we just broke up
Its not as though it was yesterday
But something I just cant explain
Something in me needs this pain
I know Ill never see your face again

C'mon now
Ive got to be strong now

Now everybodys talking about this new decade
Like you say the magic numbers
Then just say goodbye to
The stupid mistakes you made
Oh my memory ...   more »

What is your worst fear?  Mine used to be a shark attack and dying from it.  I suppose I've learned enough in my life to keep my self relatively safe from one so I no longer have that fear.   I have a worst fear now.  One that will be harder for me to overcome.   I thought about this subject too before deciding to write about it.  I mean.. should I be telling everyone what I'm afraid of?  I had to consider this.  Privacy is important to me.  And don't knock me for posting photos of my kids and myself as giving away my privacy.  I don't post but a fraction of my life here in photos or details.  So one with my story...

What is your worst fear?  I would have to say mine is dying alone.   We all die sometime but how we go is something many of us don't consider.  The common thought is that you and I both want to die of old age.  No one wants to go "before their time" but when is "your time"?  For me my time is before my kids reach 18.  And while I'd like to see them married or see a grandchild, if I can just get them through the age of 18, it will mean I've been able to give them enough knowledge and more importantly, values to go out and carry on in life without second guessing what they will become in life. 

Dying is a terrible thing.  It means you are over and no longer a part of this ongoing universe we call the planet earth.  And while we can consider the afterlife and what lies beyond the moon and stars, when it comes right down to it, we are but a finite part of it all ...   more »

One of my favorite artist, Llloyd Cole..

You were an innocent child before i laid my hands on you
and all that pain that you held inside
was just waiting to bloom in a darkened room
and you just flew right into the light and came alive
my little butterfly

Well you'd never known love and you'd never known pain
but you found out that they were just like wine and champagne
You could drink a little more, then you hurt a little less
and you get that butterfly feeling underneath your dress
and your promises will turn into lies
Then you will fly
My little butterfly

Now i'm lying here babe on your side of the bed
and i've got unclean thoughts flying through my head
and i'm thinking about love, yes i'm thinking about pain
and i'm thinking about some way that i might feel good again
Yes i'm thinking about my little butterfly

Assuming guys that you have a good steak to start with there are two major factors to consider aside from how rare or well done you like your steak.  

1. How high your rack is to the fire.

2. Resting your steak

If you screw up everything else these two things can still produce a great tasting juicy steak.

I'll keep this simple.  I'm not writing about grilling a steak, although some people will grill a steak then broil it for a finish.  For a straight up broil understand that just like in grilling you flip once.  If you flip it more than once you will lose out.

I use a glass broiling dish.  Drizzle in some olive oil.  Coat both sides if you like.  Salt both sides, pepper both sides and that is all you reall ever need to bring out great taste from a great steak.  If you have a sub-par steak then you may want to coat it with some Spanish paprika for some kick along with a dash of celery salt and onion salt.  To produce a great taste throw in some chopped carrots, trust me it makes a difference. 

Broil on the top rack.  Remember to have the oven on broil guys.  Not high bake.  The broiler cooks from the top to sear your meat.  You should only need broil your steak from two to four minutes on each side.  Just keep an eye on it.  You want it a slightly crispy texture on the surface not all the way through.  The pink inside is NOT a bad thing and will not mean your steak is fatty or hard to cut.  It is actually opposite.  Also, having some pink in side means you have flavor! 

To lock in flavor you must let your steak rest.  This ...   more »

This is a great song about being with someone and never really knowing them as they put up a front.  On the exit you learn the truth which gives you closure except for the curiosity of how someone can actually do that to another person.  No ethical standards?  No moral compass?  Anyhow.. great song.

Feels Like a Memory

Stone, iron and steel
These are the things I can touch
Things I can hold in my hands
But what you left with me
Is somewhere right in between
Fiction and fact

It feels like a memory to me
Even though it never happened
To me

I wake up again
The nightmare¹s always the same
You fading out like a picture
Then I get lost for a while
Confused by all of the facts
The fact you never were
In my life

It feels like a memory to me
Even though it never happened
It feels like a memory to me
But it never happened

I¹m all tied up
But no rope holds me
'Cause I¹m all tied up in love

It feels like a memory to me
Even though it never happened
It feels like a memory to me
But it never
never
never happened

The stories
The pictures
Everything you left with me
The summers
The winters
The rest of my life...

It's amazing how some songs sum up things you feel better than your own words.  I've written a number of personal poems in the past about my divorce, but they are too personal to post.  I knew this song was out there on a hard to find album I had already been in search of.  I have to give the nod to this tune as it explains in the best of terms what it felt like the day ...   more »

A friend of mine noticed I used the term, "Feel It Again" and it brought back memories of metal band that did some great pop metal tunes.  There is a reason I'm featuring two videos by Honeymoon Suite today... read on. 

So it made sense to feature them after we discussed this band a bit.  Enjoy Feel It Again for it's musical value not video content.  This is NOT a good video representation of Honeymoon Suite.

Now for the song I really love. What Does It Take? Remember the movie One Crazy Summer with John Cusack?  This one was featured at the end when the explosion on the beach takes place.  It's hilarious.  That movie and Better Off Dead are classics among me and friends.  We still badger each other with... "Two Dollars...!"  What a great inside joke. 

But more than all this...  I used to roar across the country side and back roads on my motorcycle to this tune. What Does It Take? was one of those songs you listen to when you are knee deep in a great boyfriend girlfriend relationship and you know you will do anything to satisfy them.  Of course when it's over... song's like this take on whole new meaning. 

Here's to foolish silly love songs that proclaim love will last forever.  May we all know this foolish feeling just once. ;)

OK... here is what I've learned since my younger days of love.   I've bumped against many if not most my old girlfriends.  One I'm happy to say is still a great true friend.  But what I learned from past loves.. is that time vindicated me. 

You know that thing you tell yourself after you break up, "I was the best thing that ever happened to her."  And then you just go on with life never looking back, never really knowing if all that was bravado or truth.   Well time is an amazing thing. 

I'll be smiling from here until the day I die.  What I've learned is this.  Life is no test drive.  You don't get second chances, you only get the hard lessons.  Some of us have harder ones to learn than others.  If your real smart you actually learn a lesson from what you lost, passed up or gave up. 

Those of us that survive those lessons... well...  I'm here to tell you I'm too busy living to be surviving. 

Which will you be? The survivor or the one too busy living?

I first heard this song just before a trip to Mexico.  I had it on my headset through-out the trip.  I got an easy going feeling every time I would listen to it.   I cannot recommend Love and the Russian Winter by Simply Red enough.  If you like the feel of this song, you'll love this release.  For me the songs lock in good memories. 

I recall standing near the baggage conveyor after my trip.  I was listening to it aloud with other's waiting beside me.  My mate on the trip was standing idly by.  Little did she know I was thinking of all the women I had ever been with while listening to the words.   I thought of how lucky she was to be with me.  And the feeling at the time was mutual.  It's good to have memories like that.   Now I feel the power of freedom in my life in ways I once rejected.  Life is good. ;)

I'm leading with the words to this song today as they are what is most important. And seem to express where I'm coming from in my life today.  Enjoy the tune.

WORDS FOR GIRLFRIENDS

Do I feel jealousy when you're free without me
Maybe
Do I feel that my love will stay with you forever
Hopefully
In memoriam of my lovers will you sleep with me forever
Oh most certainly I never did doubt you

You surround yourself with trinkets like they're meaningful possessions
Baby
Like some squirrel in the garden with expensive permutations
Save me
They'll outlive you in the end will be your final realisation
Oh most certainly I never did doubt you

Words for girlfriends parading as songs
To be living with songs yet without you
Words for girlfriends parading as songs
'though I never ever really did ...   more »

You're In For it Now

You're in for it now
Fate has lingered and I propose a toast
Destiny has been commissioned to find you and...
You're in for it now!

Fate will have you somehow
Stumble into the arms of change
Toss and turn you around, and...
You're in for it now!

Destiny's beside you
Forcing your hands behind you
Destiny's beside you
Forcing your hand --- behind you...

You're in for it now
Fate has lingered, no room left to boast!
Destiny has been commissioned to find you and...
You're in for it now!

It's the key to your fate if you can brave it
It's the pain of your past if you can take it
You've crossed the line, incommunicado
Up to your shirt-tie lost without bravado

Destiny's beside you
Forcing your hands behind you
Destiny's beside you
Forcing your hand --- behind you...

You're in for it now.
You're in for it now.
You're in for it now!

Wednesday Week

Being Sure, you and I
The hope of the beginning will last to the end
Deceiving ourselves
We're moving but in place

It's the middle of our dream
It's a Wednesday Week
So if our meeting was the beginning
Will parting be the end?

The answer of course must be
To deceive ourselves
Like the Wednesday of a week

You know... every now and again I find myself with a minute of down time.  Could be at the YMCA waiting on someone to give up a weight set where for some reason they offer Internet access in the gym room ...It could be in town waiting on a client where thankfully I can pick up someone's insecure network for surfing myself, or simply waiting in line at the bank where I'll dial up the web on my PDA.   You can't do much in terms of productivity, what do you do?  Read the best of Craig's list for a laugh.  Take for instance this post about how to decode women's personal ads:

Ø 40-ish..................................49.
Ø Adventurous..........................Slept with everyone.
Ø Athletic................................No breasts.
Ø Average looking.....................Moooo.
Ø Beautiful..............................Pathological liar.
Ø Emotionally Secure..................On medication.
Ø Feminist...............................Fat.
Ø Free Spirit.................................Junkie.
Ø Friendship first.......................Former Slut.
Ø New-Age.........................Body hair in the wrong places.
Ø Old-fashioned........................No B.J.'s
Ø Open-minded.........................Desperate.
Ø Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.
Ø Professional................. ..........Bitch.
Ø Voluptuous...........................Very fat.
Ø Large frame...........................Hugely fat.
Ø Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.

Going back to 2006 there is this gem, the Craig's List Salary Guide:

Less than $30,000 = Loser! Put down the videogames, take a shower, and move out of your mom's house.

$31,000 - $50,000 = Cool. You're alright with me man. I hear you.

$51,000 - $70,000 = You're suspect pal. You're on my list. What are you some kind of smart person who learned how to do computers or something? My girlfriend is way hotter than yours.

$71,000 - $90,000 = Must be nice to come from a rich family who paid for your eduction. Epp epp! Zip it. I don't want to hear about how clever you are. You're a xxxking tool. Fucking bitch is what you are. Goddamn daddy's girl who never had to ...   more »

It's fast and it's furious
Hurts the way it should
Find em hiding in the corners
Pain someone else once took
If you worked at love much harder
They're putting pepper on the ball
The working waves of passion
The weight of it all...

Now! I looked hard, I looked silently
And I fell hard, she fell hardly
What happened to me, what happened to me
I think out loud... "What happened to me?"

Roses are red, roses are red
If we had a fight, I'd forget what was said
Roses are red, roses are red
If love is blind I'll get you out of my head

Now who's to know the reason why rascals find love?
Isn't something more important, to accidentally find the one
So who's fooling who? No don't change the rules
We're heading straight for danger and I mean you!

Roses are red, roses are red
If we had a fight, I'd forget what was said
Roses are red, roses are red
If love is blind I'll get you out of my head

I was a crazy cure which she believed
I was a flash on her she could deceive
Now she's a reckless hunter looking for me
And now I'm desperately focused to find myself King

You say you want me serious, don't you wish you could
I see you fear'n in a corner, love once misunderstood
If we ran from love much further, I suppose we've said it all
Yes we'll treat it like a fashion, I think we've done it all

Roads to wonder down
Are the ones to wander down
Time ...in the present stands still
I see her there
Elbows on the sill
And love is such a hard word
Hard words in my head
Hard words... are...
Hard to get, hard to get, hard to get.

The old is old and over
The new has just begun
And standing in the rain
Has never felt so much like the sun

With full intent and a minor accent
His words were few and far
Beyond the said, eyes intense
No need to wish on stars

Hard to get. Hard to Get. Hard to Get.

Roads to wonder down
Are the ones to wander down
Time ...in the present stands still
I see her there
Elbows on the sill
And love is such a hard word
Hard words in my head
Hard words... are...
Hard to get, hard to get, hard to get.

I hid my life to forget the past
Good things you know are never meant to last
These bad things we live through
The too do pass
Why's my mind so tight
You've questioned that tonight
I only need you to mend my desire
Into a finer momentum,
Oh the rogue I've become!

To find... A wise man
Look... for a fool
For in his mind
He's ruling you

Little known facts equal empty truth
This life is tight
This rogue will never lose
Convinced to leave
A tryst we had
I was that wiseman fool
What's it take to dream?
What's it take to go?
I need you
To mind my desire
Into a finer momentum...
Called love

So time's not yet givin my mind back to me
And I wish I wash again to have your thoughts for free
The deeper I get
The harder I am to find

To find... A wise man
Look... for a fool
The tightness tonight is killing you
Now tight young rogue
You'll find it tonight
The wise man you were...
Was never you  (for in his mind... for in his mind ... for in his mind...)
Was never you

Have you ever heard someone say, "I wouldn't never normally do that, except for the life experience."  Some things in life you do just once so you can say you did it.  Take for instance bungee jumping.  Remember that fad?  Everyone had to do it just once.  I never did it.  Perhaps I should have. 

But that's not to say I'm not a guy that doesn't get out there and try new things.   I'm willing to do things unconventional too.  Heck... look at how I met my wife.  It took some unusual set of circumstances that lead me to be willing and try to meet a mail order bride, but I was willing to try something unconventional for nobel reasons. 

A friend of mine is hiking the entire Appalachian Trail.  Now that is a life experience.  Very few people will be able to make that claim.  He's definitely got one up on bungee jumping.   He's doing the walk with his wife which to me is aces.  That's the way to live, have someone you care about to share the best life has to offer.  They will always have something to talk about with that experience, let alone the bond.

Some of us have never been to New York.  That is a place everyone should visit.  I'm spending my weekend there this week so that comes to mind. I have a photo with the tickets from that day in the frame of the time my son and I travelled to the top of the Empire State building in Manhattan.   Visiting special places means a lot more if you have someone to share it with.    I suppose visiting places is something you would put high on a list of memorable life experiences.    From the Great Wall of China to the Eiffel tower.  Visiting places of such ...   more »

Today is father's day.  There is always talk of great fathers and I won't lie... I aim to be known as a great one.  Not to the world... but to my children.   I won't write a long article on this.  I have time to spend with my own father and children.  But I want to say something important about this day.

It reminds me of why there are so many lessons I teach my children, my sons.  My oldest son in particular at this point in time.  Some times he behaves in a way that seems uninterested when I impart my wisdom of life's lessons.   In the past year I've mentioned maybe three times... "I won't always be here. I could be gone tomorrow and all you'll have is what I've taught you this far.  Don't make the mistake of ignoring me now." At first that bounced off of him.  But by the third time in a year I said it... He had an answer.  "Dad, your not going anywhere... you're not going to die."  And for this I answered sharply, "Can you imagine you and your brothers world right now without me in it?"  From here we had an adult conversation I won't get deep into but it marked an understanding.   The conversation drove home the point that I had purpose in his life, it was more than cooking, doing laundry, driving him to school and playing with him after work. 

We all take our fathers for granted while they are alive.  We shouldn't.  They have a great many life lessons to teach us.  They've seen the world at a different time.  They have stories to tell us.  They are wealth of knowledge and can help us avoid pitfalls in life if we just tune in to what ...   more »

Life is about control.  We all want control over the world around us.  From the ability to pick up a fork and stab our food to put it in our mouth to knowing we can afford this months payments.   We want to control our destiny and ultimately we want to control our happiness.   If that is true, then our happiness comes down to one simple solution.  Choice. 

Happiness is a feeling we choose to feel.  Sure if you get an unsolicited kiss from someone you care about, that makes you feel happy.  I get that.  But take for instance a little league game my kids and I lost yesterday.  There were a lot of tears and lowered hats.   Believe me, I felt the disappointment too.  It was my second year in the exact same position.  But at the end of that game I had to put it in perspective and choose to be happy or sad.  That's right, I had the choice.  I could choose to exist in that sadness or choose to live in the better memories of what we were.   Kids have lessons in life to learn so we as adults have to learn to accept that children are not mature enough to grasp this.   But we adults have the ability to be happy within the circumstances we have.   If you don't like your circumstances, you work to change them and you can be happy along the way.  You make the journey your reward.   As for happiness... you enjoy it along the way and you enjoy when you reach your destination.    Ultimately it comes down to choice.   Happiness is a choice as much as it is a feeling.  I wake up on many cloudy days and choose to be happy.  And strangely enough... me and the boys may ...   more »

Today... for the second year in a row I Managed (coached) a little league team to the semi-championship game.  The team we played was the first place team and they had one loss all year and it was to us.   If nothing else they respected us.  We were the fourth place team.   We held first place for a few weeks after winning eight games in a row but after the Memorial Day break my kids were a bit non-baseball of mind for a bit.  And that's life, they are kids.   So in time we got back in the grove and on track.  We could have finished in 2nd or 3rd place but I needed to line up our pitching staff for a play-off run and we took two loses that we accepted no those terms.

We had no excuses going into the play-offs.  We won the first game and were fortunate enough to win 12-2.  Our pitching staff was full for the next play-off game.  That was today.  If our pitchers had a good day and we got some base-runners in play I knew we'd run the bases and score some runs.  We established a 6-2 lead by the 5th inning.  We had a mighty team chock full of tall eleven year olds on their heels.   We took the wind from their sails and they even stranded runners at third a couple times as our pitching was just getting the job done.   Good pitching stops good hitting.  That was our plan and it was working.  But with the heat and a case of nerves, our third pitcher ... my son walked a couple guys that put runners on first and second.  A great hit over our third baseman's head (a girl that almost made an amazing catch) lead to a ...   more »

A friend sent a poem today to me.  It is written about me I am flattered and stunned.  I'm used to being the one to express eloquently my slanted views of the world with little fanfare other than the private correspondence I receive.

So when someone waxes poetic about me... I'm really honored.  For the sake of privacy I won't name names as I have learned over the past two years not to do that.

This poem comes to me after explaining to my friend that "You are not what you think you are, you are what others think you are."  I'm looking at these words and I know as I've been told by others I'm broken... now I'm being told I'm not so broken...  This paradox is my life.   My problem with the concept of me being broken (in terms of being able to love) is the one I'm wrangling with.   Let us face it world, my children are my life.  From sunrise to sunset.  While I am a great companion and friend and to some I may be a knight (which flatters me beyond belief) I really do think that my time to love has not yet come.   A woman I know going through a divorce e-mailed me earlier today with these words:

Obviously, your history has done a number to your trust (as understandably so).  But your girlfriend still sticks by you then she knows this and obviously accepts it. Whatever you're giving her, she's happy and if she's happy, then what difference does it make if you don't really believe in love? Marriage is all about companionship, helping each other, respect and attraction and those are the things you need everyday.  Everyone's so caught up on being in "love" when, I think, the kindness/respect/partnership is what really makes people ...   more »