ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lars Hindsley is a self-employed single full time father, a writer, a non conservative Republican, a reformed idealist (a compromisationalist), ex-musician, God fearing cynic that could more easily be described in two words as a "Rugged Intellectual".
Lars writings range from "how to" articles to commentaries and advice. You'll find movie reviews and video picks of the day side by side with serious writings.
Lars offers perspective from an Anglo-Christian moral position while never lording over anyone unlike himself. Lars is of the opinion that if you are going to complain, you should offer a solution. His perspective on the world is that many of us fight societal evolution to frustrating ends without a genuine understanding of what it is we are all up against.
Reading his articles should provide you with positive energy towards living out your day. You may not be able to change the world but you can navigate it to live a rich and rewarding life. Enjoy Lars’ works, there are years of writings to choose from.
Give me a break please... Sex and the City may be a woman's movie but I watched the show and this is not an exclusive female genre. Sex and adult affairs include both parties and while men were idolized, vilified, and emasculated on this show, it was still entertaining and despite insulting the intelligence of men, guess what... The main female character marries a man! All these women want men! Get it?
So as for the retard that posted this to the site above:
This film is an absolute estrogen-fest with no appeal to men. Any male that goes to see this production has obviously surrendered the privilege of being called a man and must check his ******** at the door. Personally, I will be waiting for "Kung-Fu Mutant Zombie Warriors From Hell".
- Skepticus, London, UK
All I can say to that is "wa wa wa" you big baby, obviously have it in for women. I also love the movies The Seven Samuri, Kill Bill, Star Wars and many others. It's just a movie, it's a dated period piece and the Seven Samuri will be long remembered after Sex and the City so don't stress it. The only argument you really have is that neither my girl nor your girl will go with us to see Star Wars, Kill Bill etc... My advice to you is grab your girl, go eat some popcorn, then have great sex when you get home. It's not that difficult.
Indulge is sexy word. Implying temptation and satisfaction. Indulge a word that implies illicit behavior, as if you are getting a free pass on something you'd normally pay a price for. In short you may define indulge as excessive gratification less retribution.
Last week I wanted to explore this word but I couldn't find the right words. Sometimes it helps to just take time and let life define things more clear. For instance I've gone the past month without eating a donut. If you've read any past articles, you may be aware I've wanted to kick the donut habit. I believe I have. I had gone as far as to be very hungry and had skated miles and worked out and still not indulged in having a donut. Finally I debated the thought of having one in my mind today and figured that I would "indulge" and have two donuts with a coffee at breakfast time.
There is something about going some time without something and then partaking of it (that first taste of the donut was ecstasy - LIL). Actually it goes beyond that example, it can be a difference in lifestyle and suddenly you try something or do something you normally would not. From having sex after abstinence to buying a article of clothing outside your expected fashion sense the list goes on. You could hang out with a group of people you wouldn't normally be with. Here is another example. I was skating one day on my own (when my boys were away) and I ended up with a large group of skaters that smoked, dressed in tattered clothing and rode motorcycles simply because they offered me to join in a barbecue. It was a different experience but I did indulge in a cultural experience I had not understood before. But hey, ... more»
So here is the difference between DirecTV TiVo and Comcast DVR aside from the obvious point that Comcast DVR stinks in general.
The difference is that with DirecTV Tivo once you pause a screen to freeze something worth looking at such as let's say Chuck Lorre's vanity cards at the end of Big Bang Theory or Two and a Half Men, it vaporizes in no time. With Comcast, you are screwed. It stays there like a stone wall put up by the DuPont's in the 1800's for little else reason other than to annoy others with their ability to do it. There is no real thought behind it and therefore the lack of foresight means it will cause problems later.
Sure I watch Big Bang Theory and Two and a Half Men, but I also watch the news and other important programs that require me to freeze or pause the screen. Even my five year old needs that important feature, but when you get a green bar at the bottom of the screen that refuses to go away... well... that little five year old's feelings are crushed. And do you really want to see five year old children abused in such a way? (I'm kidding of course). I sure don't. But who will hear this call to arms? Who of us are men of action? Will no one tell Comcast they have their head straight up their butt? Doesn't anybody care about my children?
And then their are the other differences between DirecTV TiVo and Comcast DVR. You can't control the fast forward speed with Comcast DVR while with DirecTV TiVo you can hit pause at triple speed, then hit play and go right from that point. And of course it fast backs at double speed so you don't miss the beginning of the ... more»
Last night I saw a movie, I won't say what it is, I think that will make this story more interesting to you. But a line from it sparked so much thought behind it I had to write about it.
There was one simple line said towards the final moments of the film. "So much life is lost on the waiting." It is an inspiring line. How many of us with for a happy ending and the waiting becomes our bane. The waiting destroys hope and happiness. The waiting eats up the time we could have spent living.
When I was a young man, I had a goal in life. To be a wise man at an early age. I didn't' want to waste my life waiting and learning lessons the hard way. But the reality is in order to live life and learn lessons you must get out there and live life as if you were a dying man living on borrowed time. Living every moment as if it counted more than anyone could possible understand. Of course your ethics really kick in then. Do you lie, beg, borrow and steal or do you work hard to accumulate life experiences and riches on a righteous path?
Life is lost on waiting... How much of our lives are lost on waiting? Waiting for love? Waiting for a chance at a job, waiting g for a break to come our way... waiting in traffic! It always comes down to living. Sometimes we decide we want to live more depending on the season. What is it about spring and summer that makes life so worth living? You wake up early in the morning either knowing it's going to be a great day or pensive day as soon as the ... more»
A little over two years ago I was changing billing systems for my business. It was hell. I sat on hold with a company in England for 20 to 40 minutes at a crack. They had one hold song.... Who Knew by Pink.
I wasn't divorced at the time. I was just wondering how to get through my latest round of issues with my then wife. When you listen to one song over and over you either grow to hate it or love it. I loved it.
Then about six months later I was served with divorce papers. This song took on new meaning. For a while anyhow... Keep in mind at that time I didn't have confirmation of the affairs. It was the first two months of separation and I was still in love. I sang it at Karaoke a few times soon after. Then I didn't want to listen to it again for what seemed a very long time as I just didn't need to think about sad times.
This song took some time for me to appreciate again as it really was a miserable time. Thank God it was short-lived. Now I listen to it sometimes thinking of it as just a great song. And I think recommending it as a video of the day is like coming full circle. Great song for those of you going through a break-up of any sort. Now if you don't mind, I'm going back to having a great day in the shadow of a great but sad song. :)
You know, I'm not super political. I don't know if Presidents do more than accomplish being a figure head, but I do know that I want someone in office I can respect.
This video shows a reprehensible nature I am shocked to see. In this video Hillary Clinton suggests that Bobby Kennedy was shot before the general election, therefore why should she get out if there is a chance Obama could be shot too? Sure she can hide behind the ambiguity of this statement if she desires and undoubtably she will. But let us all face it as adults there is little else to draw from such a comment aside from, "Can someone please kill Barack Obama?" She clearly hopes for obsequiousness by anyone willing to act on her innuendo.
You know, I love my Real Age e-mail updates. I do, I really do. But this one...today. What are they thinking? The ingredients read like an alltime bland and disgusting list mixed together for the sake of a bad joke. I'll probably try it.
Don't laugh or look down your nose at this little tune. If you have a sentimental bone in your body and a true appreciation for music this song is entirely worth your attention. While I grew up with my own family watching the Muppet Show, this song transcends the show.
I would love to say all the reasons I'm motivated to post this song today, but I'd rather keep some of my private life private and simply hope you enjoy it. :)
I'd also like to recommend the Willie Nelson cover which is done with great respect in tribute to this modern classic. Willie is accompanied by Greg Pritikin. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oX9E_D_HjBo&NR=1)
Rainbow Connection
Why are there so many Songs about rainbows And what's on the other side Rainbow's are visions They're only illusions And rainbows have nothing to hide So we've been told and some chose to Believe it But I know they're wrong wait and see
Someday we'll find it The Rainbow Connection The lovers, the dreamers and me
Who said that every wish Would be heard and answered When wished on the morning star Somebody thought of that And someone believed it And look what it's done so far What's so amazing That keeps us star gazing What so we think we might see
Someday we'll find it That Rainbow Connection The lovers the dreamers and me
Have you been half asleep And have you heard voices I've heard them calling my name Are these the sweet sounds that called The young sailors I think they're one and the same I've heard it too many times to ignore it There's something that I'm supposed to be
Someday we'll find it The Rainbow Connection The lovers, the dreamers and me
I'm away today but the beauty of automation means you get to read and hear of Video of The Day...
There is an elegance in life we all aim for to raise our belief in the civilization of love. I think my mood lately in listening to some classic standards is in keeping with that tone. Now please please don't assume I'm sad and lonely, I'm anything but. Yet I've been working on a story of mine lately and reconnecting with the romantic side of me is something I've found through the music of Burt Bacharach, Frank Sinatra and a few others I'd rather just keep to myself.
From Frank Sinatra to Burt Bacharach, the music and words sung in the past are so pure in their message of love that you can't help but think love is easy, even if it is so hard. It's like picking up a handful of sand, at first you have so much in your grasp and quickly it slips through your fingers.
About seven years ago I reconnected with the music of Burt Bacharach. I shared that music with friends close to me and no one ever knew that the gift of Burt's music in my life was from my mother and father whom used to play it and sing it around our home when I was a mere toddler. Song's like The Way to San Jose, Rain Drops Keep Fallinon my Head (BJ Thomas), The Look of Love (Dusty Springfield), I'll Never Fall in Love Again, If Anybody Had a Heart, Make It Easy On Yourself (Walker Brothers), What the World Needs Now, Promises Promises, Close to You, Always Something There to Remind Me, The Windows of the World, and I Say Alittle Prayer... more»
When I was 15 and 16 in high school, I became acquainted with Frank Sinatra. The texture of the arrangements and simplicity of the lyrics were perfect for his classic voice. I present to you "A Man Alone" as a bonus, something extra.
A Man Alone is a pensive ballad where a confident man proclaims that he has come to terms with being alone while admitting he faces down loneliness at night. There is a verse that harkens fond memories of Casablanca when he sings... "A man who knows love is seldom what it seems... Only other people's dreams" I draw an immediate connection between what Frank sings and Rick's bravado in Casablanca after his heartbreak:
Rick: I'm not fighting for anything anymore except myself. I'm the only Cause I'm interested in. Ilsa: (after a significant pause) Richard. Richard, we loved each other once. If those days meant anything at all to you... Rick: I wouldn't bring up Paris if I were you. It's poor salesmanship. Ilsa: Please, please listen to me. If you knew what really happened. If you only knew the truth. Rick: I wouldn't believe you no matter what you told me. You'd say anything now to get what you want. Ilsa (scornfully): You want to feel sorry for yourself, don't you? With so much at stake, all you can think of is your own feeling. One woman has hurt you and you take your revenge on the rest of the world. You're a, you're a coward and a weakling...
Annina: Oh! (relieved) Monsieur. You are a man. If someone loved you very much, so that your happiness was the only thing that she wanted in the world, but she did a bad thing to make certain of it, could you forgive her? Rick:... more»
You know I write movie reviews, interview artist and of course have video of the day on occasion. Here is my latest... Recommending sites you may or may not have heard of. I'd like to offer up as my first recommended link a fun site that pokes fun at my "positive energy" approach.
There is some real laugh aloud stuff at despair.com as well as some podcasts. I think the must have item is their "glass is half empty mug". When you find it and read it, you'll get how funny and worthwhile having one is. :) They should be paying me for this.
No video of the day here. Just a tribute to a special song about lost love... Heart of the Matter by Don Henley, J.D. Souther and Mike Campbell.
There is hardly a verse in this song without profound heartfelt meaning. The impact takes your heart and will to be strong from stolid and worldly to bare and vulnerable.
Think about these verses...
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms And the work I put between us, Doesn't keep me warm
I'm learning to live without you now But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
How can love survive in such a graceless age
There are people in your life who've come and gone They let you down and hurt your pride Better put it all behind you; life goes on You keep carrying' that anger, it'll eat you inside
These words and so many others tear at your soul if you've ever known love. So...I'd like your audience while I explicate the meaning and motivation behind these words by Don Henley because this is one love song that is a classic to me in the world of love songs as Casablanca is to romantic film classics.
If you've ever been in love, really in love, you'll appreciate these words. It think it may be the single best love song about a man's perspective on what is love really. When I listen to it I think back to my pre-marital single days when love was simpler... Because now somehow as I have come out of marriage... It appears love becomes less romantic and more about friendship gone wrong, at least I believe that it what has become of it for most people whom marry. ... more»
Lately I've been receiving a lot of e-mail from recently separated men going into divorce. It's never good to see. Just as many have kids and this really tears me up. I've been there and walked that road. As I've honestly and genuinely come out of divorce with a better life, I do feel an obligation to other men, to share how we as men can get over divorce.
For starters you should read my article: A Man's Guide to Divorce - A Man's Guide to Separation if you have not already. Most men that find me have generally googled something regarding divorce and found me through this article.
I also have a complete section here on labeled: Men's Help.
The reality is for us men, there are few resources. And most web based resources ultimately bash women in order to raise our self-esteem and while that is certainly a solution it's negative energy. In fact one blog I found and made contact with seems to be at odds with itself in trying to take my positive approach while still dealing with it's resentment towards women. http://whatmenthinkofwomen.blogspot.com/ The fact is I think this guy digs up some amazing stuff that has merit but he walks a razors edge when it comes to lumping all women into one group. Read his blog with care and use your moral compass to guide you as you make your own decisions in what he writes.
Guys, we should never forget that women are beautiful creatures and worth our love, the fact you have been dumped or abused or whatever is not an indictment of all women.
You will undoubtedly search the web for answers, you can look for books on the subject high and low. There is ultimately one answer. You. Your self esteem. You ... more»
Today I'd like to discuss you. What makes up you? While discussing my own life, I want you to think of yours. In order to do this we all need to be honest with ourselves. They say that character is what you do when no one is looking. So you need to think about identifying what you are by being that honest with yourself. We look in the mirror day after day and while we see ourselves, do we ever really examine who we are? What made you the way you are. Do you have as short temper? Do you raise your voice without realizing it? Do you eat to forget your sad thoughts? Are you the type to procrastinate? Do you let your problems mount up before you begin to attack and resolve them? Are you a work-aholic? Are you meticulous or a germa-phobe? There are countless things that make up who we are, from our personality to our character. The good and bad things about you must be something you've pondered, been pleased with or even battled during your life.
What made you what you are? Was it your parents? Was it your social setting? Did you grow up with or without brothers or sisters? Did you have a friends in school or were you picked on? Did you live in the country, the city or a suburban setting?
Perhaps most important to question is are you happy with who you are? Remember my tag line I borrowed from Justin Currie, "Look into the mirror do you recognize someone, is it who you always thought you would become when you were young?" The day I heard these words I began some serious self examination. I was married and had just moved into a large home. I heard those words ... more»
Speed Racer was a popular Japanese animated cartoon for kids that came out in 1967. In the early 1970's it was still going strong and among shows I watched were the animated Spider-Man series, the campy live action Batman, Ultra Man, and the cartoon Speed Racer. I knew the Speed Racer world well. It was just something every kid watched and loved.
The premise was great for kids. It was about a teenage boy living in a race car oriented family where he steps out of the shadow of his older brother races all over the world. His older brother left home and changed his identity to Racer X and the brothers race each other many times over while Speed helps fight racing crime bosses along the way. Speed's large family presence is strong and there is a deep sense of comfort and safety built into this dangerous lifestyle because of it. Of course the best part is that Speed Drives an advanced car with gadgets that he gets to use in most every episode.
So as an adult; knowing a live action cgi version was coming... I wanted to think this would be a good film to take my own kids. And for what it is worth, my own kids already knew the Speed Racer world well as they had been watching my original series Speed Racer on DVD at home for years.
Last evening my son's and I went to see Speed Racer. I had prejudice towards not being rewarded with a good experience in the trailers I had previewed previously.
While Speed Racer is family safe, it is not safe from my criticism.
In short, if you are a fan of the late 1960's Speed Racer animations then you too may expect some more. Perhaps a lot more. Otherwise ... more»
I've been working on a personal book for my family to read one day. Truly a labor of love. Days such as today are pensive and thoughtful. However today I won't write privately, I think I'd like to tell this story publicly...
Today's little league games were rained out. And I because of the rain I didn't want my son waiting in the rain for me outside school since we no longer live in the neighborhood. When I picked him up he asked what our plans were. I said, "We are still going clothes shopping, just no game." First we picked up his younger brother from pre-school, which is generally the other way around, but because of the rain...
I had to drop a letter at the post office and my youngest insists "I can do it dad, let me!" I tell him, "OK, go straight through the doors and put it in the slot. Ask people if you can't find it." Watching him the whole way, I saw pride beaming off of him. He strolls back to the car, "Did it!"
I'm a single full time father. Two boys both from different mothers. Each year Mother's Day comes around and my eldest son; now eleven tells me, "Happy Mother's Day" and he gives me a kiss on the cheek. He's been doing it for about four years now. However when my ex-wife and I separated two years ago, the act of him doing this became a bit more heartfelt. I never asked him if anyone put him up to it, but even this past weekend, Mother's Day 2008 he did it again. It got me to thinking...
Children need parents that love them. In a perfect world they will have a mother and father that are with them throughout childhood. A mother to nurture them in the early years and a father to guide them and participate with them as they grow. Along the way both lines between parents intersect. It seems to me the natural order of things. Children have parents, two parents. While in case of wild animals sometimes a mother is all they need, and at other times a father is all a wild animal needs, in the case of humans I can see a child can do no better than two parents, together.
So when for what-ever reason a child is left with one parent or more commonly now, split parents you have to ask yourself what does this mean to a child? Look at mine for example, he tells me "Happy Mother's Day" and I'm his father. I know he loves his mother and she is a part of his life but as I have for most of his life been fortunate enough to raise him primarily... I sense in him ...almost pity for me. Yes, you read that right. Obviously he doesn't see me as his ... more»
I manage my son's little league team. Today my son's little league team entered a game with a 7-1 winning record against the team that thumped us the first game of the season. They lost the first game the season only to go on to win the next 7 games in a row. I'm proud they all responded so well to learning more about the game and how to win.
Today's game went to extra innings. We led in the top of the 6th which is normally the last inning in little league regulation games. Our lead was 4-1. Now if you don't know little league baseball, a 4-1 game is impressive. It's a defensive struggle. And this game was a battle. We tug two players out stealing home, as did the team we played. We tug players out attempting extra bases with a crucial tag out at third by our only female player. I was very proud of her.
So in the top bottom of the 6th all we needed were three outs and it would thankfully be over. My son was pitching and his fast ball looked great. In fact, the little guy was even showing off to five girls as the umpire pointed out to me. Oh my...my son is growing up. But he seemed to go into a small funk and with a strange pop up in the infield that bounced in fair territory and refused to roll foul, they had a man aboard. He stole second and then my son walked another runner. The next batter promptly hit a three run home run to tie the game. I felt the tide turning. Then my son snapped out of it, and proceeded to pull out the inning. We made out of the inning without giving up the winning run. We were going to extra innings with the score tied 4-4.
Now you should also know, I'm all about positive energy. My articles here are not wasted on adults only. I am always telling the kids, "If you never quit, you get there." And "Never let anyone say it can't be done." I call the kids in for a coaches pep-talk.
I've been thinking of running for political office locally. I've run the gamut of politics through little league and of course learned how to defend myself against liars of all sorts in recent history...
I've spoken to the right people about this and there is a vacancy coming up in my district. They sounded excited to have me step up and frankly I'm flattered to think such an opportunity would fall into place.
Anybody have an opinion on this? You don't have to private e-mail me, you can respond as a comment if you like.
In recent weeks I've had many readers e-mail me about how their own lives have been touched by my words. I'm humbled. Truly. But I will say this. If I wasn't doing so well after divorce, everything I had to share would mean crap. I had to be blunt.
Let me share how life is good. In fact how my life is great.
Last year I managed my son's little league team. This year I returned to the managers role. I manage the same team too, in name that is. We lost our first game of the season. Last year we lost our first game too. In fact we lost our second. But we ended the season with a winning record. We not only finished with a winning record, we finished in second place. We made the play-offs too.
This year after losing our first game we have now won seven in a row. We are now 7-1 in first place.
Now for my second son.. my youngest. He too plays in the league. I assistant coach on his team. And I've found for him ...just getting started in organized ball I found that his love for the game is greater than I knew. The first game of his season... he put his uniform on at breakfast and wore it the next three days. I'm not kidding. And yes, I washed it.
We are a small family and in life, I've learned it throws you curve balls. You just have to learn how to hit em. I said that today by accident in front of sales woman and she stopped me and said... "Wow... that is so true." While baseball is not my life, I've learned a lot of life's lessons are played out on that baseball field.
I got this e-mail today. It's not the first time I've had someone e-mail me about helping others going through divorce. Last week it was a young girl dealing with a blame shifter.
God in heaven, I'm happy to help people. This letter is a major affirmation that my words do help and I'm grateful to God that I've had the ability to articulate words that help people move into action.
To Lars Hindsley –
I just felt compelled to write you to thank you for the thread you posted about a man’s guide to surviving divorce. My wife and I were married for 13 yrs together for fifteen and have three beautiful children. The oldest is not biologically mine but has called me dad since he was 2. We had an amazing rollercoaster ride of a marriage that survived infidelity financial ruin, but also had some awesome times. We were separated for almost six months before she moved back in to try again. Two weeks before this last Christmas, she said she “loved me, but wasn’t in love with me” love that line. I had her moved out two days before Christmas and in her new place. For the first two months I was obviously devastated and completely shell shocked. I’d done, and I’m still doing a lot of self evaluation, and thought I had a good grip on how to relate to her and make our marriage what I’d hoped it could be. She said it was “too late”, go figure.
I found you thread, printed it out and read it religiously sometimes four or five times a day. I am currently learning the process of convert my old “doormat” self into the self-respecting confident man I used to be. Like you I guess I was ... more»
In going over stats tonight I found one article was getting a ton of hits from this site: eNotAlone.com.
Seems my article on Blame Shifting found an audience. I found that a great number of users from that site came over on a recommendation to read this article of mine: Understanding the Blame Shifter.
Years ago I read a book... actually I listened to it (many times) by Peter Senge, named The Fifth Discipline. It was about thinking in totality, seeing things from a distant view where a system is in place.
From this book and I took a couple major disciplines from it for life. One was the art of thinking in systems and the other was the concept of mental models. Today I want to explain systems thinking in regards to my life and my children's lives.
Let me first give an example in my life so you may see how it can relate in your own life. The other night I was installing a new shower head system in my shower. The boys and I are in the bathroom with all the parts. My oldest son is keen to state we should be reading the directions to our youngest son. This may seem strange that one son is dictating this information to another but it is part of systems thinking being instilled from one family member to another. However for years and years since my first son received his first set of Lincoln Logs we always used directions. To this day he always refers to directions when building or assembling things. Why do I mention this? Reading the directions in full and having them in advance of a project is in fact a form of systems thinking.
You see when you step back and view things on a whole you are better prepared to work within that system even if you are only going to operate strictly within a small segment. Now I'll return to my story of the plumbing.
So... our move is complete and it's been a few weeks at our new location. Wow... finally getting settled. And things are admittedly super fantastic!
If you know me it all surrounds things working out for my kids. And because things are going great for them ... I'm happy.
Both boys have little league games tomorrow for which I coach. Then we are off to an event mid-day then to a party out of state and on Sunday we are going to see Ironman on the Imax screen!
My kids don't get all the fun. I'm getting a new bed! LOL, I'm actually getting a smaller bed. The past few days have been really stressful with the move. Ironically all my friends were away this week, one in Peru with his wife, one on a trail hike with his wife... Another on vacation... I had to pay for movers in the end, but that actually resulted in a discount on storage so I guess it's true everything happens for a reason. Wow... the blog article I could write about THAT statement. Just yesterday I had to do one thing that led to another and suddenly I found myself feeling like it was the best day in the past 2 years. Things really do happen for a reason.
On days like yesterday and today, I believe it more than ever. While I'm sure tougher days still lie ahead, I've said it many times. I could live just about anywhere in any condition and as long as I'm with my kids I'll be happy. But I'm not living just anywhere, or in any bad conditions. We are right next to our new YMCA, across the street from the state park, walking distance to our grocery, video store and pet shop...
