Desire is a life changing element in each of our lives.  From our desire for a man or woman to the desire for food or a drug.  When we desire something, it consumes us.  We give ourselves over to desire.  We compromise our values, we become blind to morality.  We disregard wrong from right.

I'm a man that believes you can channel desires.  For instance redirect negative energy into positive energy.  I believe you can refocus desire.  We as humans have a tendency to be addictive to things.  You can have positive or negative addictions.  When you become addicted you have a uncontrollable desire.  

So what do you do about something uncontrollable?  How do we control the uncontrollable?  Desire is a creature we dare not test without having a serious plan of action.  Desire is a precious painful temptation we give into.  Mentally we give ourselves over to what we want and damn what gets in our way.  I know of few people that can temper desire.  I suppose these people are the ones that channel.  For instance they may not smoke, or drink or spend a lot of money, but they love sex.  Or perhaps they are controlled in every area of life from spending to love and all they have left is some sick habit the rest of us are aware of. 

Desire can be the worst of things, and it can be the most beautiful.   When you desire a woman, you can find yourself changing everything in your life in hopes that she will give herself (her love) over to you.  You could be the pauper that makes yourself a prince just to show her you are worthy.  And if that happens, your desire for her made you a better man.  (Read my upcoming article Traits of a Real Man.)

Desire is a paradox.  It holds the truth in us.  Look inside yourself today and admit to yourself your desires.  Do they benefit you or are they your bane?  But look into the mirror and admit to yourself what you see.  What desires do you have in life.  Are they life long desires? 

Mine varied, from becoming a football star and a music hero to finding a woman that would be my best friend to.  I never drank, I never smoked.  I suppose I love sex, but it doesn't consume me.   But now my desires have changed.  When my son was born I redirected my desire.  I desired to be a man my children would  respect as a role mode.  I desired to be a man my children would become.  I wanted them to be better in life at everything I accomplished.  When I learned my ex-wife never loved me and that our marriage was a ruse for her own needs... my desire for women changed.  There was nothing I would not have done for my ex-wife in our marriage.  Ironically I  found myself desired by other women because they seen in me all that I had loved my wife for and done for her. I merely took this as complement.  I was proud to be married, like Bruce Willis in Die Hard II when the girl at the airline counter flirted with him, and he proudly twisted his wedding band for her to see.  He was proud and so was I.  Talk about silly moments in movies to remember for a long time... I've always remembered that sense of pride he had shown.  I held that same sense of pride in marriage.  Before being married, I saw that little exchange between those two characters at the airline counter and desired it.   But honestly... desire can be destroyed.  Sometimes in a good way.  Sometimes in a bad way.

At one time before I was married, when my brother took his life, I entered a dark place in my life and my desires were carnal and selfish.   My life changed and my desires were unchecked.  And again, when my son was born, my desires came back to a moral center. 

I'm a full time single father of two now.  I look at this past year and one of my favorite days was a day I spent alone in Central Park.   I was there watching the world go by.  I made friends.  I had people show me how interesting my life was.  I found out a lot about life that day.  I think about that day and how I desire that happiness.  I find my desires are somewhere between making sure my children grow up to represent our family name with class and dignity and my own need to be my own man that is accepted on his terms.   I am Heathcliff returning to Wuthering Heights.  Standing tall, dignified and stronger than ever.

I no longer desire to fulfill the life of a woman.  I learned that every person, women included must fulfill their own lives.  I've learned that really a man and woman need to come together as complete individuals that can care about or love each other for what they are.  So my desires have changed.

What are your desires?  Look in the mirror today.  Tell yourself what you really see. Be honest with yourself.