We hear about office romances more and more. Around Valentine's Day we celebrate it. However the reality is the rest of the year it's not so glamorous. From, post relationship favoritism, false sexual harrassment suits against men when relationships do not go well, to breaking up marriages, love at the office is not so loving and kind.
You can't point a finger at either sex. What you do find is that employers become enablers of affairs at work. There should be a standard among all employers to ensure good things stay good and bad things cannot take place. This problem is clear cut but nothing is ever done about it. No one takes this problem serious, but it is. It's just like women using mens bathrooms; a man would get arrested in a heartbeat for walking into a woman's public bathroom, but when women walk into a mens bathroom (like at sports stadiums) men simply laugh it off without the urge to dial 911. Oh... we all have this train of thought run through our head, but we do nothing. It is mainly because men know nothing will be done about it, and that we also are not as willing to to feign offense over the actual need to use a bathroom. It doesn't make it any more right for women to use the mens room. It is wrong, but we men accept it. We don't have to accept our lives being destroyed by reckless employers.
Employers are not doing enough with mere Love Contracts meant to protect the company. The video below is NBC piece featuring Love Contracts. Love contracts in the eyes of the people signing them become mini-marriages. The honeymoon is over after one lands in your lap. Read: Roses, Candy & Love Contracts.
Love at the office is not always love. Sometimes it's lust. This is where things become troublesome for the good people working for paycheck and not working to raise their social status... of course little do they know they are lowering their social status. In some cases your reputation or lack there of leads to poor performance reviews resulting in your own resentment for the company you work for. You then leave in shame and laughed at after you are gone.
Perhaps the mere concept or idea of hell hath no fury like a woman scorned (whatever that may be to her) means that for men, you should take the most clinical and military approach to resolving the issue of a bad office affair. Then of course there are women that actually give a damn about the man they have lost even if their misguided approach has good intentions. Of course you could wind up a married man in a bad relationship ready fall victim to a woman preying on married men. I don't condone cheating on your wife any more than I agree with women cheating on husbands but it seems that in this modern society, the tables have turned sharply. Men are now the weaker sex, we are the oppressed. I know ladies... you have a hard time stomaching this statement.
Employers don't seem to get it yet that consensual affairs or sex between employees is broader than the two involved. Example? Me. While my ex was in an extra marital affair with a co-worker, JP Morgan Chase considers that a consensual affair. They didn't get my consent! This was a married woman, in a contract with her husband. The company has a responsibility to all parties here, not just their specific employees. You have most likely read my position from time to time about adulterous women (yes it works both ways, I'm a man, I'm writing from my point of view). I'm a victim of divorce by adultery because of this very issue. And yes, I'd personally like to sue JP Morgan for not just prohibiting this, but enabling this workplace atmosphere. I do in fact see them as liable for the break-up of my marriage. If JP Morgan Chase Bank had established a true professional work place environment my marriage would be intact today. While I was being alerted to the affair by co-workers at one time, and the JP Morgan head of security was informative in many regards, this information came about "after the fact". The company needed to be proactive, not reactive. You would think they'd see they have their own interests to protect as one day a situation like my own may indeed become a class action law suit. I'll say no more on that. Employers would do well to read their own human resource surveys regarding work place romance such as this one.
As it stands now, the dirty little secret of large employers is that male and female alike see this problem but no one intends to fix it. Open conversations take place at the watercooler, at lunch, in car-pools and of course on web sites, Read: What is the #1 reason women cheat on their mate.
Perhaps the most scathing indictment that these problems occur at work came about from a small article written in Forbes back in 2006. It was originally just s single article titled: Careers and Marriage. Soon after Careers and Marriage was published it got legs and drew a lot of attention. Forbes did well to "cover their ass" and had another writer post a counter point article then quietly married them together as two articles under one title. The beauty of the web, nothing is permanent. By then it was too late, the cat was out of the bag.
What puzzles me to this day is that the REASON the article Careers and Marriage has impact is that it has an arsenal of background data to stand on. There is a foundation to the argument of "do not marry a career woman". Now of course not all career women will have affairs, but the point made here is that the odds SKYROCKET when a wife takes a corporate career path. There is no doubt that if a person is prone to cheating, the work place becomes their playground for selfish behavior. A feminist will argue this point saying men are "just as bad" and I won't debate men are just as guilty. However for many many years men came a long way in learning to observe the respect of women in the work place. Men are the weaker sex in this mental arena and when women open the door, men walk right through. I can't stress enough that the Careers and Marriage article in Forbes is based on a large foundation of sources such as:
http://www.sipp.census.gov/sipp/access.html
I believe there is another factor no outlined in the Careers and Marriage article and that is the factor of a "practical woman". Women that think in practical terms disconnect from feelings or emotions most of us depend on to keep us grounded in a relationship. Practical women will look at men in practical terms while performing the ruse of love, knowing this is how the system works. Employers need practical minded employees but should be wary of the no-nonsense, practical woman. Ethics and morality is not part of their life and the employer too becomes a resource only to serve them.
Assuming for a fleeting moment that what we face is a wave of practical women operating under the radar within the corporate world, men face a difficult delehma in love. How can a man live within his lifetime commitment to women losing their souls in this material world?
It can't be by the same rules of someone that secretly is manipulating them for personal gain and selfish desires. There is only one way to do it. Mandate it. The corporate workplace needs to adopt the same mandates as the rest of the world, in fact their standards should be higher. Let's see if some strong minded, confident do-gooding lawyer or firm will ever step up.
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