After a year, this song is still something else.   I used to listen to it over and over again back in 2006.  A friend in England introduced me to it and it became infectious to me. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJmghwq7k2I

Pink may be tough girl, but in a modern way she can stilll tell the story of love gone wrong.   I think her take on it isn't just typical pop edge, it's got modern appeal. 

The verse, "If someone said three years from now.." just rings in my head.  Hope you enjoy it.   It's a good video but much better song.

I can relate folks. 

http://cnn.site.printthis.clickability.com/pt/cpt?action=cpt&title=Murder+conviction+tossed%3B+man+freed+after+9+years+in+jail+-+CNN.com&expire=-1&urlID=26007195&fb=Y&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cnn.com%2F2008%2FCRIME%2F01%2F22%2Fmasters.case%2Findex.html%3Firef%3Dnewssearch&partnerID=211911

Do you ever play games like poker or chess?  Do you ever find yourself in competition with a good friend that eventually you learn how they play the game?

I don't consider myself overly competitive.  Some days I want to win, some days I could care less about an outcome.  But when I do participate in a game, I do believe that the best plan of action is not only a good offense as a defense, but to simply never let your opponent know where you are coming from.  

When I was a young boy I held magic shows in my back yard.  It was fun.  I announced them at school and sent out invitations. I earned money from it!  It was funny as I recall it. I even have some photos of me in my back yard from the 7th grade when I did it.  I'm going back a ways, but recall what my mentor taught me.  Never let them see where the action is. Your audience must see what you want them to see.  While they are looking at A, you are doing B.

Next time you are in a sporting activity, think about this.  It's not all about deception either.  Like I said, a good offense is A. so they don't know it accomplishes B. 

I don't want to say any more.  I don't want to tip my hand.  LOL

This has been my creed the past year.  I'm in a custody case where so much fallout has taken place.  From legal fees that force me to choose some months what gets paid to what doesn't to simply living in a home that stings you with $700.00 utilitie bills in the winter months. 

How do you deal with such a big problem?  Just like eating an elephant.  You take it one bite at a time. 

The day I got my utility bill, I was very upset.  After all, I'm not a dual income family anymore.  And although I've been attacked in court motions with fraudulent editoral stating I'm "unemployed" which makes me laugh my ass off, I somehow make ends meet.  I pay my mortgage even if it gets behind one month, I pay my bills and I get caught up.  Ultimately the key is just raising the income.  I've done that.  When you have kids, you stick a nickle in it. 

So here is my advice to all you folks out there with problems of your own.  Because I know I'm not special.  Don't lose focus.  Put blinders and ignore the garbage.  If you need an emotional pause to let it out, do it.  If you are like me with kids... don't let them see you sweat.  But most of all, just take it one step at a time.  Take one bite at time and it adds up.  When I had to cut corners, I found that every corner I cut, added up.  I may ultimately fail, I may succeed in getting by financially, but frankly you'll play hell convincing me that there is a ultimate dead end, or no hope.  Or and end game.  If life destroys everything you have... you still find yourself someplace that you start ...   more »

It was the summer of 1998.   I was a newlywed. My first son Declan was less than two years of age.  My new wife still did not speak very good English, it was broken and fun to listen to.    We laughed together at how she would say Bur-GUR King or Dankin donuts.  If I cooked tacos. she would say, Taco's schmackos.   We were able to laugh out ourselves.  I rented a home next to my parents when we first got married.   My phone bill to her homeland was $1,600.00.  It was our first big test as a couple.  She reminded me, "everything in moderation" while also telling me that if I ever got on her nerves she would buy a large quantity of buttons, all the same... and put them in a jar.  She would secretly put a button in my pocket every day and as I'd find the button and toss it in the trash it would mysteriously show back up the next day in my next pair of pants.   I loved this girl.  She was a pistol.  One day my cat NEO (well before the movie the matrix came out) knocked over some roses I bought her.  She spoke to the cat in a sly voice... One of is will go NEO and it won't be me.  I remember the next words and we made an inside joke of them for years... She said... "We will see NEO". 

It was a summer day and I had kittens born.  We went into the yard and took photos of her in a school-girl outfit and her youthful exuberance.   There was love in her heart.   It came out of her and flowed through me.  Life was wide open and we had somehow not a care in our heart despite the obstacles that lay before us.  It was a good day. It was as summer day that she ...   more »

Do you have any secrets?   We all have them.  Imagine things about yourself that no one should know.  Wow... that is a subject that should hit home with every one of you today.

And it is true isn't it?  Think of the one thing you wouldn't want anyone to know?  It could be even more than one thing.  

Now imagine that gets out to someone you hate!  Imagine they know those secrets.   What would happen in your life if your worst secrets got out to the wrong people? 

Life is like that.  It's always the last people in the world you'd want knowing your secrets that end up with them.  Life is so ironic.   There is an old saying... keep your friends close and your enemies closer.   I've learned that first hand in my life I'll tell ya! LOL.

I recall a couple years ago a guy I knew wanted me to go do something somewhere that if I were single, I suppose would draw a laugh from buddies over a poker game, but at the time I was separated and knew that should I do anything I wouldn't be proud of in the midst of anyone I knew... It could come back to haunt me.   So as badly as I thought I deserved to cut loose, I kept my wits about me and made the rational decision to understand... "this friend could be my enemy tomorrow, and would I want him to know any dark secret of mine?"  The answer was "No way!"  I'm happy to say for all my desires and needs unfulfilled in my life... The secrets I'm not proud of... my adversaries in life already know. LOL 

While me on the other hand.  I've carried some secrets for a long time and will continue to do so until ...   more »

What is love?  This question can be asked so many ways about extraordinary lives. 

Today I want to focus on the freedom of love.  I'll keep it short.  For real love to exist, you must be able to allow the person you love to be free.  

The old saying, "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, they are yours forever, but if they don't they were never yours" is just part of my point. 

There is no control, or jealousy.   Why?  Because if you love someone you don't just set them free before they commit to you... you set them free during that commitment.  When I was married, I never felt an ounce of concern for where my wife was, and hardly any concern for whom she was with.   While love also means you have the self esteem to exist outside your wife or husband... the act of love has this important component.  The ability to allow the person you love to be free without constraint.   

It's a paradox really.  When you love someone you commit; yet you are free.  Both of you are free.   It's like an invisible link between you.  If you really love someone and they love you, there just isn't any worry about losing them.   While not every love last forever, there is no doubt when you are in love, you should feel this way.  Be lucky in love my friends.

I've been examining something lately.  It is when people lie.  And not just people that are bad people.  I mean good people.  Or at least people that yout think were good at one time or have some good in them.  Or you've just look at their life and think... they must be good.  Look at the job or place they come from?

It comes down to this.  Good people lie because they are misled.  They compromise their own values unknowingly because they lose sight of their own real ethic. 

Some of my readers are God fearing people. 

Recently some friends have been going through their own hardships and I am asking you today to pray for them. 

One gent from a Christian Men's group in Philly has need for pray to aid in his parents health.  Another good friend recently had her spouse leave her while she has a small child.  She's able to go on of course, but I would as you pray for her happiness as a single woman.  It can be a hard road adjusting to single life when also raising children.  

A friend of our family died recently too.   Your prayers of comfort for those that loved her would be appreciated too.   Last, in my neighborhood, some neighbors are facing serious financial difficulties and risk losing homes.   One family comes to mind... the a husband and wife with numerous children and they split up leaving the husband to maintain the home alone.   They are good people and could use your prayers. 

I'm seeing a lot of hardship lately.  Even my friends with what seem no money problems on the surface have come under some strange attacks.   I spend a lot of time praying for friends lately.   Your prayers would be appreicated.  

A great many people have prayed for my family to mend and heal, I ask now if you could help me in returning the kindness and pray for those that reached out to me when I needed it.  Thanks.

I got this in an e-mail the other day from a friend.  They sent me theirs and I think I'm expected to reply.  Have you ever recieved e-mail like this?  I recall I used to get it a lot over the years.  When I'm working during the day... I'm no nonsense.  At least about e-mail.  I don't do chat rooms, I don't don't care for discussion boards, I don't think much of the Internet community on a whole due the unaccountablility of people.   Strangers you meet and become friends with... you may never meet and they can frankly be anyone.  They can say anything and you would have to believe them in general. 

OK... enough of my opinion.   I get this e-mail with subject: Fun Facts.  I learn some great things about my friend and she and I thankfully have much in common.  Oh... I guess I should let her know at this point.  Here are my answers... and as I read the questions... I really need to rework these questions.  Silly.

Last... I have left her important questions blank, those are personal.  As I had mine. Have fun.

Politics are fun, they are serious.  For me, I try and put it all in perspective.  On a local level, we have so little control, especially in Delaware.  Our voice is nothing to a candidate when they need Florida or California for electorial votes but that is life.

So without any fanfare, here is where I'm at.

I'm a republican.  But I am not a full on conservative.  While I don't believe in global warming, I do think we are screwing our planet with chemicals and the way we just flat out have not considered how we build, where we build and more. Since I was a young boy I had wished we would get off of petrol and go electric or anything more efficient.  Because I think the Arab world holds America in contempt, I'd rather not feed their economy but again... what can I do.  I'm one guy.  And I've tried to make a difference but in the grand scheme... my voice has been lost. Blah blah blah.  And no boo hoo hoo's here.

As you can guess I'm strong on family but believe a woman should have a right to choose despite my Christian background preaching that life begins at conception.  I suppose I'm just not right.  Having said that... I don't believe in abortion.  I don't think you should do it. So you figure out what peg I belong in.

I could go on but you get the idea. 

So why not be a Democrat?  Far too whiny a crowd.  They pander and don't appeal to me.  And yes even the Republicans make me sick.  All these clowns molesting kids, having sex in stalls or whatever...  pretty lame and stupid, let alone immoral. While I love sex, you gotta use your brain and think along the ...   more »

Sweeney  Todd is a tragedy in every sense of the word.    Don’t see it because you expect a classic horror piece, unlike the novel it is a classic revenge tale set as a musical.  It is a haunting nightmare experienced awake.  However you should be able to stomach blood, otherwise you will find it horrifically overplayed.

I have decided not to write a traditional movie review of Sweeney Todd.  My original interest in this movie was all the buzz from the theatrical performance and novel.  I now know I must to attend the Stephen Sondhiem musical as part of my own collection of life experiences.  This screen version doesn't feel at all like stage and works perfectly, so to get yet another feel for this illicit story is something I will not miss.

What is compelling about this sad and tragic story is the love story behind it despite Sweeney Todd’s nefarious lifestyle.  Where this stands on its own is that it gives Sweeney Todd a motive to kill that you accept as a moviegoer.  Perhaps you must personally have some romantic tragedy in your life to appreciate this story (not the killing).  I understood the sting of what happened to Benjamin Barker from my own life’s sudden tragedies.  In that I mean the story begins with a character being “naive” and paying a terrible price for having done no wrong. 
 
The story of Sweeney  Todd is a intensely dark tale.  The title character is brooding at his most optimistic moments.  Sweeney Todd is portrayed here by Johnny Depp and filmed in the same surreal dark artistic manner Tim Burton first made a name for himself with in his own trademark stylized Edward Scissorhands, Batman and Beetlejuice movies.   Yet I was drawn to it more as a musical.
 
I thought ...   more »

A friend I know just announced she is getting married.   Upon learning this I of course congratulated her and told her I had some advice for her.  But then someone arrived to break up the happy moment.  We decided to discuss it later, but as I thought of it... since she reads my blog... I'm going to offer this advice to her and anyone considering marriage.   Now before you say... "Lars you failed at marriage, who are you to give advice?"   I argue that I did not fail.  I certainly personally did not fail.   I remained faithful and I was able to make a good go of it for 9 years despite what I had learned was someone that really wasn't in the marriage for love.    And don't you dare call me bitter. I think love is a great thing. No... I know love is a great thing.  While I had been bitter and everyone deserves that emotion for a period of time...I didn't remain bitter.  So allow me now to share what I've learned and how you can do it right.

Before I dive in, I do have one more thing to add.  I am writing a memoir for my children to read and pass on to their children one day, similar to what Shakespeare wrote with Polonius’ advice to his son Laertes.   I hate to think of being gone from this world, but my legacy will be what I’ve experienced and learned and how I’ve lived this life.  Much of what I’m about to share comes from a portion of my memoir.    The things you read about how I learned from my own marriage… are omitted in the copy of my memoir.  I don’t share anything with my children that can be perceived in the least bit of disrespect to their mothers.

Some I will ...   more »

Yeah, I know that really freaked you out and it got your attention, so let me explain. 

Once a month a woman has a menstruation.  While there are some amazing insights regarding a woman's body and her menstrual cycle, such as when she is born she has somewhere shy of half a million eggs stored in her ovaries...  this little article is not about those fascinating facts.  But there is one that I think has always made me think.  That is when a woman has her menstruation once a month she  becomes hormonal and while that is great for guys... again... this article is not about that either.  I bet I really got your attention going at this point don't I?  <smiling to myself with satisfaction> Well don't get too excited.  I just have this theory...

Once a month a woman has a period; menstruation. For you insightful men, during or around this time many women become harder workers and they don't seem to tire. It could happen just before, during or just after their menstruation. They just go and go and go. Not all women, but plenty I've come to know over the years. And don't go reading between the lines so hard here. I could be more wrong than right on this one.. it's JUST A THEORY

Now if you are willing to accept what I'm surmising here or if you are just willing to suspend disbelief for the duration of this article we have established that once a month a woman has an energy spike.  Now for my theory.

If a woman has two or three days a month where something hormonal comes over her and we know why... she is menstruating...  why then do I once a month get really active for a couple days.  I mean, you could ask me to paint the house and I could.  I clean the carpets... ...   more »

Now this is a goofy word I have to admit.  Yet don't you just yearn for those moments?   We've all had them I think.  Do you recall that lighthearted feeling?  Sometimes it is a moment filled with anticipation... she's getting off the plane, you will see her any moment.  You feel ...giddy.

Considering my own life, I've found I get to experience it a good bit lately.  I get to repeat it when we have movie night at our house.  Last night was movie night.  My one son at one side curled up under my arm while my other son at the other snug under the other.   You catch yourself...  this won't last forever.  How long will it last?  I mean... they are both growing up so fast and there comes a point where it's just not cool to have dad with his arms around you. :)

Knowing that day will come, I appreciate these moments.  But the good thing right now is that for a while I can still have movie night and the boys will still want to turn all the lights off, sit on the couch with me, toss a blanket over us and say, "Dad, I love you."  They say other things too that really make my heart light but this article is not about hurting people to repeat them would go against the point of this article.  Just take my word that these children come up with some of the most ardent expressions that give enough peace to realize there is not much more in life that can make you that happy.   So I sat there and stepped outside myself a brief moment as I do often these days and felt giddy for what I had.

I know love for a woman or man can make ...   more »

I’d like to revisit the term blame shifting or blame shifter as I’ve discussed it in past articles.   In an ongoing effort to reflect on the values of this era and to help others avoid victimization by a blame shifter; it is important I keep the concept of “blame shifting” forefront in your awareness.

What is a blame shifter?  A blame shifter is someone that does not accept responsibility for their own actions and portrays themselves as a victim in an effort to deflect the blame from them self and onto someone else.  This accomplishes two goals for the offender.  It absolves them of responsibility, and effectively makes someone else responsible.  A blame shifter will demand respect while giving you none. 

Now before you decide… “Come on Lars… blame shifting?”  I would contend that blame shifting has been around since the dawn of time.  Look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.    What did Adam do?  He blamed Eve for taking his first bite from the forbidden fruit.  He blamed Eve for giving him the apple rather than answer to God, "Yes, I ate of the fobidden fruit."   So are you on board yet?  I hope so.  Oh... and by the way... it didn't work then either.  God made them both accountable for their actions.  Just thought I'd get that in as an aside. :)

Here are a few of the articles I'm working on for the month of January 2007

ADVICE FOR NEWLYWEDS OR ENGAGEMENT ADVICE

YOUR AUDIENCE FINDS YOU

HOW DO YOU CATCH A SHARK

DYING ON YOUR OWN TERMS

PEOPLE WATCHING

I HATE THE EAGLES

DESIRE

WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TO BE ON THE SIDE OF EVIL?

THE STORY OF THE LITTLE BIRD

REAL LOVE STANDS THE TEST OF TIME

MY POLITICAL PICKS FOR 2008

What does it mean to be a single parent let alone a parent? Ultimately it means sacrifice.  The life you once lived for your own wants and desires takes a back seat to the importance of your children. 

Have you ever been to a store where a child comes off as annoying yet their own parent dotes on them?  Or better yet the parent simply allows their child to go on being annoying without any real concern.  Either way you only see an annoying child.   But... when it is your child.  Everything matters.  They are your entire focus.  The little things they do while you are waiting in line, matter.  The words they say, the mannerisms they display.  If you are a good parent, you pick up on all of it.

My children and I go everywhere together.  Except for my specific days off as a full time father of two... I can tell you we are joined at the hip.  We rely on each other for discussion.  My children learn as I teach.  I'm always getting questions that come from all over.  "Dad... what is the longest pass ever made in a football game?"  And yes... I'm expected to know the answer.

My little one's questions are easier because I've already been through it once before for the most part.  But they never get any less important.   The most amazing thing to me is how both of my children sponge up information.  My youngest son exhibits everything you'd expect to have read in a book about younger siblings.  He doesn't just "try" to keep up with his older brother... he expects to keep up.  He keeps up. 

Both my boys feed off each other for knowledge, entertainment and companionship.    They both in turn, come to me for guidance, refereeing and thankfully... ...   more »