Another Lousy Day In Paradise
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lars Hindsley is a self-employed single full time father, a writer, a non conservative Republican, a reformed idealist (a compromisationalist), ex-musician, God fearing cynic that could more easily be described in two words as a "Rugged Intellectual".

Lars writings range from "how to" articles to commentaries and advice. You'll find movie reviews and video picks of the day side by side with serious writings.

Lars offers perspective from an Anglo-Christian moral position while never lording over anyone unlike himself. Lars is of the opinion that if you are going to complain, you should offer a solution. His perspective on the world is that many of us fight societal evolution to frustrating ends without a genuine understanding of what it is we are all up against.

Reading his articles should provide you with positive energy towards living out your day. You may not be able to change the world but you can navigate it to live a rich and rewarding life. Enjoy Lars’ works, there are years of writings to choose from.
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Year Archive
View Article  Have Fun

I manage my son's little league team.  Today my son's little league team entered a game with a 7-1 winning record against the team that thumped us the first game of the season.  They lost the first game the season only to go on to win the next 7 games in a row.  I'm proud they all responded so well to learning more about the game and how to win. 

Today's game went to extra innings.  We led in the top of the 6th which is normally the last inning in little league regulation games. Our lead was 4-1.   Now if you don't know little league baseball, a 4-1 game is impressive. It's a defensive struggle.  And this game was a battle.  We tug two players out stealing home, as did the team we played.  We tug players out attempting extra bases with a crucial tag out at third by our only female player.  I was very proud of her. 

So in the top bottom of the 6th all we needed were three outs and it would thankfully be over.  My son was pitching and his fast ball looked great. In fact, the little guy was even showing off to five girls as the umpire pointed out to me.  Oh my...my son is growing up.   But he seemed to go into a small funk and with a strange pop up in the infield that bounced in fair territory and refused to roll foul, they had a man aboard.  He stole second and then my son walked another runner.  The next batter promptly hit a three run home run to tie the game.  I felt the tide turning.  Then my son snapped out of it, and proceeded to pull out the inning.  We made out of the inning without giving up the winning run.  We were going to extra innings with the score tied 4-4.

Now you should also know, I'm all about positive energy.  My articles here are not wasted on adults only.   I am always telling the kids, "If you never quit, you get there." And "Never let anyone say it can't be done."   I call the kids in for a coaches pep-talk. 

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View Article  Running for Office

OK... Just let me know who is behind this.  :)

I've been thinking of running for political office locally.  I've run the gamut of politics through little league and of course learned how to defend myself against liars of all sorts in recent history...

I've spoken to the right people about this and there is a vacancy coming up in my district.   They sounded excited to have me step up and frankly I'm flattered to think such an opportunity would fall into place.

Anybody have an opinion on this?   You don't have to private e-mail me, you can respond as a comment if you like.

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View Article  Good Luck Stella Sleepwalks

Stella (not your real name).  If you didn't know... I see where all this site's visitors come from and for days I saw hits come over from your post: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=228370

I know you will do well.  Be strong. Lean on me if you need a pick-me-up.

 

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View Article  A Hindsley update... why not.

In recent weeks I've had many readers e-mail me about how their own lives have been touched by my words.  I'm humbled.  Truly.  But I will say this.  If I wasn't doing so well after divorce, everything I had to share would mean crap.  I had to be blunt.

Let me share how life is good. In fact how my life is great. 

Last year I managed my son's little league team.  This year I returned to the managers role.  I manage the same team too, in name that is.  We lost our first game of the season.   Last year we lost our first game too.  In fact we lost our second.  But we ended the season with a winning record.  We not only finished with a winning record, we finished in second place.  We made the play-offs too. 

This year after losing our first game we have now won seven in a row.  We are now 7-1 in first place.

http://www.eteamz.com/canallittleleague/standings/index.cfm?season=489376&division=3596614

Now for my second son.. my youngest.  He too plays in the league.  I assistant coach on his team.  And I've found for him ...just getting started in organized ball I found that his love for the game is greater than I knew.  The first game of his season... he put his uniform on at breakfast and wore it the next three days.  I'm not kidding.  And yes, I washed it.

We are a small family and in life, I've learned it throws you curve balls.  You just have to learn how to hit em.  I said that today by accident in front of sales woman and she stopped me and said... "Wow... that is so true."   While baseball is not my life, I've learned a lot of life's lessons are played out on that baseball field.

And for you ...   more »

View Article  Helping One Person

I got this e-mail today.  It's not the first time I've had someone e-mail me about helping others going through divorce.  Last week it was a young girl dealing with a blame shifter. 

God in heaven, I'm happy to help people.  This letter is a major affirmation that my words do help and I'm grateful to God that I've had the ability to articulate words that help people move into action.

To Lars Hindsley –

 

I just felt compelled to write you to thank you for the thread you posted about a man’s guide to surviving divorce. My wife and I were married for 13 yrs together for fifteen and have three beautiful children. The oldest is not biologically mine but has called me dad since he was 2.  We had an amazing rollercoaster ride of a marriage that survived infidelity financial ruin, but also had some awesome times. We were separated for almost six months before she moved back in to try again. Two weeks before this last Christmas, she said she “loved me, but wasn’t in love with me” love that line. I had her moved out two days before Christmas and in her new place. For the first two months I was obviously devastated and completely shell shocked. I’d done, and I’m still doing a lot of self evaluation, and thought I had a good grip on how to relate to her and make our marriage what I’d hoped it could be. She said it was “too late”, go figure.

 

I found you thread, printed it out and read it religiously sometimes four or five times a day. I am currently learning the process of convert my old “doormat” self into the self-respecting confident man I used to be. Like you I guess I was ...   more »

View Article  Blame Shifter Article Gets Attention

In going over stats tonight I found one article was getting a ton of hits from this site: eNotAlone.com.

Seems my article on Blame Shifting found an audience.  I found that a great number of users from that site came over on a recommendation to read this article of mine: Understanding the Blame Shifter.

I wrote that article expanding on the concept of Blame Shifting from this earlier article: Blame-Shifting, your Apology Won't Be Necessary.

 

 

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View Article  Systems Thinking

Years ago I read a book... actually I listened to it (many times) by Peter Senge, named The Fifth Discipline.  It was about thinking in totality, seeing things from a distant view where a system is in place.

From this book and I took a couple major disciplines from it for life.  One was the art of thinking in systems and the other was the concept of mental models.   Today I want to explain systems thinking in regards to my life and my children's lives.

Let me first give an example in my life so you may see how it can relate in your own life.  The other night I was installing a new shower head system in my shower.  The boys and I are in the bathroom with all the parts.  My oldest son is keen to state we should be reading the directions to our youngest son.  This may seem strange that one son is dictating this information to another but it is part of systems thinking being instilled from one family member to another.   However for years and years since my first son received his first set of Lincoln Logs we always used directions.   To this day he always refers to directions when building or assembling things.  Why do I mention this?  Reading the directions in full and having them in advance of a project is in fact a form of systems thinking.

You see when you step back and view things on a whole you are better prepared to work within that system even if you are only going to operate strictly within a small segment.  Now I'll return to my story of the plumbing. 

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View Article  Superfantastic!

So... our move is complete and it's been a few weeks at our new location.  Wow... finally getting settled.  And things are admittedly super fantastic!

If you know me it all surrounds things working out for my kids.  And because things are going great for them ... I'm happy.

Both boys have little league games tomorrow for which I coach.  Then we are off to an event mid-day then to a party out of state and on Sunday we are going to see Ironman on the Imax screen! 

My kids don't get all the fun.  I'm getting a new bed! LOL, I'm actually getting a smaller bed.   The past few days have been really stressful with the move.  Ironically all my friends were away this week, one in Peru with his wife, one on a trail hike with his wife... Another on vacation...  I had to pay for movers in the end, but that actually resulted in a discount on storage so I guess it's true everything happens for a reason.  Wow... the blog article I could write about THAT statement.  Just yesterday I had to do one thing that led to another and suddenly I found myself feeling like it was the best day in the past 2 years.  Things really do happen for a reason. 

On days like yesterday and today, I believe it more than ever.  While I'm sure tougher days still lie ahead, I've said it many times.  I could live just about anywhere in any condition and as long as I'm with my kids I'll be happy.  But I'm not living just anywhere, or in any bad conditions.  We are right next to our new YMCA, across the street from the state park, walking distance to our grocery, video store and pet shop... 

If you ...   more »