I've often admired that statement. I never really thought it always necessary, at least not until recently in life. Due diligence can be found in other terms like cover your ass, and even read into the idiom "Speak softly but carry a big stick."
You see, as a man that has been falsely accused of things by someone I cared for, I have to say I get the idea behind due diligence and how speak softly but carry a big stick has similar meaning. To most of us the latter means, "try to get along, but be prepared to use force to make sure the people you are directing do as you say."
But for me, I've learned it means this. "Be nice, but cover your ass." It also means, "Do the right thing, but make sure you have protection against those that you trust the most". Be kind and decent folks but don't leave yourself open to being used.
I've written articles about men (or women) being vulnerable when in love, and anyone that has been married knows you are most vulnerable when married. Your trust is then completely wide open. I could write an entire book on this subject but I'll stay off it now.
As a man whom is victim of betrayal, it changed me. While I am happily dating, the word love seems almost alien to me. I don't think it an impossible word, but the change in me is stark and striking from how I was when married.
Where am I headed with this?
Well, when you find out you were in the company of pure evil, you realize you need to take a cold hard look in the mirror and learn how to never be taken advantage of again. How does one do that? This can be especially hard for a man such as myself that is caring and dare I say it, "sensitive". I have to chuckle as I type that. But let's face it, if I can come here and type about emotions, there is no disputing I have them. OK... my point?
In my life now I currently experience kindness that I don't think I've known in many many years. And while my children have always loved me dearly there is an adult side that needs something different; not more but different. For instance yesterday I was walking along a sidewalk holding hands with my son when he looked up at me and out of the blue he says, "I love you daddy." As I walked along, I was so glad that these moments never stop. My love for my sons' pays off every day. There is no better reward than to be loved back. If that is all I ever could have, I'll take it. Yet one day both of them will move on and have their own family. I'd prefer not be left entirely alone. It is why I married in the first place. I married for love. I already had a child, I didn't do it to create a family. I married for love. In fact I brought my wife (now ex wife) to this country only for love. In my mind, she had nothing more to offer but love. She hardly spoke English. I went into my marriage thinking, the love I'm giving will be appreciated for a lifetime.
Most people would call me a schmuck to now be divorced. Believe me, I look in the mirror everyday and size myself up over this. While that is a story I won't bother with, I will say that having been through what I've been through, it has changed me. Sadly it has taught me.
Due diligence. Think about it. I can't give you all the answers my dear readers. But there is a message here that only in months to come will it make sense.
For those of you that don't have time to try and figure it out. Let me leave you this advice. Always cover your ass. Those you trust, are the ones that can hurt you most. Give people room to be themselves, but don't give them enough room to hurt you. And this is a tough pill for us decent people to swallow. You don't want to live your life this way. But know this, a person with no moral compass, lives by "due diligence" they never let their guard down, they only pretend to. But for you... this is a modern world we live in. There are people out there that don't live by the same rules you and I do. So cover your back friends. Just when they attempt to put that knife in your back is when you should have been well aware it was coming and have done something about it in advance so that knife never makes it way between your skin and bones. ...Of course then comes into play this saying... "Give a man (or woman) just enough rope, so they can only hang them self."
To find a wise man look for a fool.
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