Hello ladies... today I am posting something that may be good for a laugh... it may also help your marriage. It really is something I believe can be a great marital communciation tool. After all, how many of us complain that our spouse doesn't listen to us? Yet this article is more so for the men, as I created the Daily Husband Summary Report intially for my own life and being a man, I think this is something more men go through than are willing to admit. It's called a Daily Husband Summary Report. I developed this so that complaints in marriage didn't come without solutions.
Here is my take on life and it applies to marriage... If you complain about something, you should offer a solution, otherwise you are simply being unproductive. So if you want to complain.. No problem, just be sure to have a solution when you pipe up.
Now... in marriage as a wife or husband, because you can flip this report to be used either way... you may find at some point your spouse is really just complaining more and more without any hope of finding some good common ground. This Daily Husband Summary Report allows you both to stop a negative spiral and turn it around... sending your relationship into a positive spiral.
I'm not saying this is perfect or it will absolutely work. But it will either help your marriage or really give you a better idea about moving on and ending a bad marriage. I personally don't believe in divorce but if you must move on.... this device will help you know if it you are in an endless negative spiral that can't be reversed.
Here is the concept. This printed paper forces your complaining spouse to articulate their gripes about you in writing. It also allows them to rate the day they experienced with you on a scale from one to ten. Now... if they rate you all week as an 8 out of 10 and on Saturday they tell you how worthless you are... you can then pull out the past five days of paperwork and argue (respectfully) that they already gave you a moderate thumbs up and how is it that you are indeed so bad? Your spouse will need to put up or shut up.
Let's take it a bit further in a positive direction. The three questions on the questionnaire are simple and direct:
What did Lars do wrong?
What did Lars do right?
What can Lars do to improve?
I end the questions on a positive note of course. With these three questions, you allow your spouse to outline what they didn't like and of course what did like. By asking how they feel you can improve it allows you to specifically know what they expect of you. There is no confusing the communication between the two of you.
The last part of the Daily Husband Summary Report affords you the husband (or wife if you reverse it) to answer. It gives you a chance to "explain yourself" or justify why you didn't have the counters wiped down in time when your wife got home from work. You can say..."The children got pasta sauce on them at the table and we took a bath after dinner before cleaning up the kitchen." Of course... this may not be a good enough reason for your spouse, no reason is good enough for some people but that is just the point of the questionnaire. If you are dealing with an unreasonable spouse... this will really bring the problem out into the open. It will spotlight your real issue in your relationship.
If you are the problem and you are not making an effort, your spouse will then demonstrate to you that you are not doing as much as you feel you are.
Either way, communication is made easier between the two of you because it ends the silly conversations where you answer one complaint only for her to bring up another that may have happened three years ago but for some reason she believes applies to you now. You as a husband no longer have to answer 20 questions when there really was only one. You don't have to be a verbal punching bag for someone that may really only be a miserable person unable to be happy with any man. You as a husband don't have to take blame for things you didn't do.
And should the worst occur. You'll have a stack of reports to take to your marriage consolor or divorce court or child custody or where ever as proof you took the high road, or that you were not abusive but actually sensitive and a good communicator or you didn't have unrealistic needs. The list can go on.
Copy and paste this into your favorite word processor such as Microsoft Word. Save it, and print a couple weeks worth of copies and when you open up the discussion for your wife.. Don't take an attitude that this is to cover your ass. Remember to discuss this in a manner that helps her help you. Remember to frame your discussion with respect and love. Let her know you want to do better for her and that this may help. Let her know that YOU are the one dancing for her, because women do want to believe they control their men. We men just want to make our women happy while maintaining our self respect. I think this device, this tool in marriage is really a postive form of communicating with the one you love.
Daily Husband Summary Report
DATE:
RATING
Rate the day on a scale from 1 to 10. You are rating the day in terms of your interpretation of your husbands behavior towards yourself (and others if you desire to make that part of your judgment). You are also rating whether your husbands actions were to your liking.
The scale starts at one (1) being the worst, while ten (10) would be a day that held both qualities of no complaints from you and actions being performed beyond normal expectations.
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