Now and again I have these moments of clarity where things come clear.   Tonight I had one.  It's about women.  In particular it dawned on me, the women I've ever known to be tough, hard to get, maybe so hard to get, the women that don't need a man, or play men down as if you in particular are not good enough are not women that in fact need a man.  They are what they seem.  They simply are too tough for love.  Incapable of it.  A woman can play hard to get, but you know when she is playing.  But when a woman is immovable and never responds to affection, doesn't give in, or can't do anything but her way, she is actually not someone anyone could be with.  Without the ability to feel and respond to affection, there is nothing there. Nothing.  So my advice to men today, if you happen across a woman that isn't just playing hard to get, and "is" hard to get.  I think I've figured it out.  Move on.  Don't try to figure her out, don't try to fix her, and don't make the mistake of thinking you "are the one" or it can be different with you.  No.  Just move on pal, just move on.

Now this may sound funny, but do you ever sing songs with your family?  Here is one we have been singing for a good year now.  It seems everytime I remove it from the CD player, it gets called back...

Cruel to be Kind - Nick Lowe

Oh, I can't take another heartache
Though you say oh my friend, I'm at my wit's end
You say your love is bonafide, but that don't coincide

With the things that you do and when I ask you to be nice
You say you've got to be...
Cruel to be kind in the right measure
Cruel to be kind it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind means that I love you
Baby, got to be cruel, you got to be cruel to be kind
Well I do my best to understand dear
But you still mystify and I want to know why
I pick myself up off the ground to have you knock me back down
Again and again and when I ask you to explain
You say, you've got to be...
Cruel to be kind in the right measure
Cruel to be kind it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind means that I love you
Baby, got to be cruel, you got to be cruel to be kind
Ooh ooh ooh
ooh.. ooh... ooh...

Well I do my best to understand dear
But you still mystify and I want to know why
I pick myself up off the ground to have you knock me back down
Again and again and when I ask you to explain
You say, you've got to be...

Cruel to be kind in the right measure
Cruel to be kind it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind means that I love you...   more »

Tolerance is a form of forgiveness and for you couples in love, this is key to making  it.  I've been there and speak from experience. 

Perhaps an important meter to gauge if you are in love is if you are capable of forgiving or tolerating things in your partner that don't exactly line up with your own points of view.  I've spoken about forgiveness in the past, that for love to last you have to forgive daily.   People make mistakes in relationships and most couples turn those mistakes into contempt.  The same can go for tolerance.  The two go hand in hand.  You sometimes need employ forgiveness in toleration.  

When I was a married man I learned this important lesson.  Had I not learned that forgiveness was crucial in keeping my heart and mind in tune with the person I was with, I would have ended my marriage in weeks. 

It's easy to be single and do things your way, I enjoy that lifestyle now.  It's in contrast to the life I once lived and from time to time I have to remind myself that one day this will change for me again.  So if you are newly committed to a relationship or m