What do you say to a coward?   To understand where I a coming from let’s define the word coward. Look it up on the Internet and you’ll find it succinctly put: One who shows ignoble fear in the face of danger.  For me in short it’s someone that doesn’t have the backbone to face up to anything that can jeopardize what they have.   Yeah, a coward is someone that isn’t willing to fight for what they have.  Oh... they may be sly and calculating, but when exposed to face what challenges them do they face what threatens them?  No.  A coward is ignoble in that moment.

Do you know any cowards?  I do. :)

Sometimes we real men want to speak our mind to a coward.  But how can you?  They run.  They hide.  A coward is so less of a man. 

Today I was just about brought to tears.  While taking my youngest son to breakfast we learned that the restaurant'scash registers were utterly down.  They could not accept my bank card. I had no cash.  And frankly, the family is in a tough state right now due to the on-going custody battle I'm still in.

I tell my son, "I'm sorry buddy, I don't have cash and their machines won't take my bank card."  He understood of course.  We walk to the car and I drum up some coins.  I tell him we may have enough in change to make due.  My son even produces one, "Here Dad, take mine."  It was a dime.  It was a humbling moment.    Damn I love that kid.

We go back inside with enough for food but not for drink.  A man and his wife that watched us leave earlier approached me.  "Here take this, I have grandchildren and they would be devastated if they had to leave without eating."  I was speechless.  I looked at him and thanked him, telling him that we only needed enough for drink but he was already turning and walking away.  My eyes welled up a bit.  Just a bit.  But I felt it.  The kindness of a stranger. I was dumbfounded.  My eyes welled up a bit and I thought, "With all I've been through, there are good people."

We paid for our meal and I gave the rest of the money to my son asking him to thank the man for what he gave and that we only needed enough for a drink.   Obediently he ran over and back.

Call me sensitive or whatever.  But it meant a lot to know people that didn't even know us were willing to be kind.  I can bear witness to ...   more »

Office life is a culture unto itself.  In every work place you find many stereotypes.   The stuck up or arrogant guy, the woman that thinks she is special, the sexist pig, the firm and stoic office manager, the fat lady that everyone has to talk around, the cut throat corporate climbing guy, or the cut throat corporate climbing bitch.    They come in all these types, male and female.

Isn't it strange though that no matter where you work, these types exist?  Which one are you?  Let me guess, none of these.  Isn't it strange as we all agree these people exist but they are never us.  Let's play a game, if you had to guess, which one are you?
 
OK, so you've decided and perhaps it doesn't fit you.  At least you don't think that that type is you.  I have news for you though, it doesn't matter what you think you are.  It matters what others think you are.  You are what others decide you are and if you are the least bit conscious of what your corporate image is, you'll address it.
 
Perhaps you don’t' want to guess.  Perhaps you want to be really risky and go around the office and ask others.  Who am I?  What type of person am I?  Am I the office slut?  Am I the backstabbing co-worker?  Am I the office maid?  Oh... what's an office maid?  I knew one of those personally. The office maid is the person the person that is the office kiss ass.  They volunteer for everything, they round up the money for the office birthday gifts and such.  Some do it for the brownie points, others do it because they have no life.  Back to the types... From the work-a-holic to the slack-ass there are so ...   more »

Now and again I have these moments of clarity where things come clear.   Tonight I had one.  It's about women.  In particular it dawned on me, the women I've ever known to be tough, hard to get, maybe so hard to get, the women that don't need a man, or play men down as if you in particular are not good enough are not women that in fact need a man.  They are what they seem.  They simply are too tough for love.  Incapable of it.  A woman can play hard to get, but you know when she is playing.  But when a woman is immovable and never responds to affection, doesn't give in, or can't do anything but her way, she is actually not someone anyone could be with.  Without the ability to feel and respond to affection, there is nothing there. Nothing.  So my advice to men today, if you happen across a woman that isn't just playing hard to get, and "is" hard to get.  I think I've figured it out.  Move on.  Don't try to figure her out, don't try to fix her, and don't make the mistake of thinking you "are the one" or it can be different with you.  No.  Just move on pal, just move on.

Now this may sound funny, but do you ever sing songs with your family?  Here is one we have been singing for a good year now.  It seems everytime I remove it from the CD player, it gets called back...

Cruel to be Kind - Nick Lowe

Oh, I can't take another heartache
Though you say oh my friend, I'm at my wit's end
You say your love is bonafide, but that don't coincide

With the things that you do and when I ask you to be nice
You say you've got to be...
Cruel to be kind in the right measure
Cruel to be kind it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind means that I love you
Baby, got to be cruel, you got to be cruel to be kind
Well I do my best to understand dear
But you still mystify and I want to know why
I pick myself up off the ground to have you knock me back down
Again and again and when I ask you to explain
You say, you've got to be...
Cruel to be kind in the right measure
Cruel to be kind it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind means that I love you
Baby, got to be cruel, you got to be cruel to be kind
Ooh ooh ooh
ooh.. ooh... ooh...

Well I do my best to understand dear
But you still mystify and I want to know why
I pick myself up off the ground to have you knock me back down
Again and again and when I ask you to explain
You say, you've got to be...

Cruel to be kind in the right measure
Cruel to be kind it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind means that I love you...   more »

Tolerance is a form of forgiveness and for you couples in love, this is key to making  it.  I've been there and speak from experience. 

Perhaps an important meter to gauge if you are in love is if you are capable of forgiving or tolerating things in your partner that don't exactly line up with your own points of view.  I've spoken about forgiveness in the past, that for love to last you have to forgive daily.   People make mistakes in relationships and most couples turn those mistakes into contempt.  The same can go for tolerance.  The two go hand in hand.  You sometimes need employ forgiveness in toleration.  

When I was a married man I learned this important lesson.  Had I not learned that forgiveness was crucial in keeping my heart and mind in tune with the person I was with, I would have ended my marriage in weeks. 

It's easy to be single and do things your way, I enjoy that lifestyle now.  It's in contrast to the life I once lived and from time to time I have to remind myself that one day this will change for me again.  So if you are newly committed to a relationship or m

What matters to you about how you are perceived?  I've often said, "Perception is everything, reality is nothing" which means it doesn't matter what you really are inside, it matters what people think of you.  Of course this is something you can apply in other areas such as it doesn't matter what people see, it matters what they think.

Does it matter to you what people think?  I used to think not, but in today's modern world, what people think is paramount in your life.  I suppose today's modern world may not be so different than any other point in time though...   After all hermits become what they are to escape what people think of them.  So if you want to avoid being judged, some of us pull back and try to pull away from the world around us. 

I've learned a lot from my saying "Perception is everything, reality is nothing."  It's kept me deftly aware of the things I do.  Look we all want to live and let live, but life is for the living.  You can't avoid being thought of one way or another.   On a whole we accept who we are for what we are and learn to look in the mirror and be happy with what we see.   But one day it hits you.   You think about how you are living and you decide... is it time I take the long way home?

Sooner or later, some of us take a cold hard look in the mirror and see what others see in us.    It's time to pay the price for perception. 

I'll write more on this article later.  But for now, be aware my dear reader.  Sometimes reality is smacking you in the face and your perception of reality is about to be turned upside down.  If you are an artist ...   more »

It seems right that upon seeing my blog is receiving no less than 50 new individual visitors per day on my A’s articles that it makes sense to offer up some additional reading material, being that I’ve attended the A’s reunion concert.  It’s a long time since 1978 when I was in the eighth grade and the A’s first took flight from the northern side of Philadelphia. See my previous articles with comments and replies from actual band members: The Philadelphia band The A's, by the time I was in nineth grade in 1979 their self titled debut album was all over the region and they were the darlings of WMMR and WYSP the two dominant rock radio stations in the area.

The A’s re-united for the first time in 22 years at the Electric Factory on Thanksgiving Eve November 22^nd. Mike Snyder on Drums, Terry Bortman on Bass, Rocco Notte on Keys, Rick DeFonzo on lead guitar and frontman Richard Bush.   I attended as one of the younger fans.  I was 14 years old when the A’s were the Philadelphia Regions pride.   They played the Philly club scene and Delaware was just as much a part of it hitting clubs like the Stone Balloon in Newark Delaware.

DATING MYSELF

Now after 22 years they re-unite at the Electric Factory an long time venue for area bands.  We stood in a line around the block to get in at 7:00 pm after first doing some window shopping down South Street and grabbing a cheese steak at Jim’s.  I couldn’t help but notice the age group in attendance.  It was obvious to me that the A’s were now an older band which really struck me as strange.  They were ...   more »