In our lifetime we change.    We live as children and grow into adults.  Our experiences mold us.  Our success and tragedies change us... sometimes for good.  Sometimes for the worse.  In either case we travel in a journey that no other person can make for us. 
 
We have choices to make that define us as people.  Choices between what is ultimately good and evil.  Sometimes you cross paths with good people, sometimes you cross paths with bad people and you decide to change your own path in life by traveling with them.  These times in life are known as "cross roads".    At these cross roads you may or may not change.  The day you become a parent is a crossroad in life.   You learn the true meaning of the word sacrifice that day and you decide to act on it or remain the person you were before your child was born.  Do you enter your second life that day or do you reject it?  It is a day you learn to love unconditionally or your live a life of selfish desire.

In the Christian religion we come to a point where we are faced with the reality that God has a plan will and purpose. It is clearly defined for us and we at that time... at that cross road decide if we believe or accept God or if we choose to move on down another path without God.   If you choose God you are born again and you live a second life. A new life as a Christian.  You only live twice.

Now this important life event can also be used as a metaphor in so many other instances.  For instance when you marry.   I used to say when I was single I was living one life.  One ...   more »

Hey, now you don't actually think I'd post them here do you?  :)

But I have them.  While I know it is important to put your goals on paper and share them with others so that you are not off the hook and know that people are watching your committment... I can't do that here.

I will share this.  I've accomplished a number of last years goals and resolutions.  I know I will follow-through on my next round. 

One is going to be life changing for my loved ones.  It is something I've been working on for some time now and to achieve that goal is no small undertaking.  But to know I've put the effort in so far... I have the advantage of knowing I'll make this goal.   I can't wait to finally share with everyone but like so many things I've been able to keep under wraps from personal interests to people in my life... I have to simply blog about things from a distance.

Have a great new year and lets hope you all do make some goals and resolutions that you don't lose focus of.

Dear readers.  Over the past year I've gone through a lot.  As many of you know I've felt strongly about not allowing my name to be drug through the mud.  

Over time my efforts to explain my life in a manner that allowed everyone to know me seemed to work.  This was important as I have been lied about etc...

But for me the fight to clear my name has never really stopped while many of you have come to the conclusion that I accomplished my goal.  Of course I never knew you felt this way.

So... I suppose the time has come for me to stop explaining.  Stop offering up some insight and continue to live on in a better life as I have.

And despite the financial distress I've suffered due to a year long of court battles, I have managed to regain my life.  I've been happy with my children and I've learned that people I thought were getting away with fooling others... were not actually fooling so many people after all.

People that once were the cause of all my pain have come to me and helped me with closure. 

These people and others have encouraged me to not allow myself to be misconstrued as bitter, angry or petty.

My new years resolutions are all set for me this year and one of them is to not drone on about my past in the way I have.   It gives such a small glimpse into who I am but when you read what I say, it seems to you that I'm consumed with it or focused on my past. 

The fact is until I sort out some details, I'll have to deal with the past but I've come to appreciate that I'm at a better advantage keeping ...   more »

Great songs.  We all know some.   Ones that you can come back to again and again knowing that they not only make you feel good, but they touch something inside you.  Sometimes it happens in a specific a part of the song when and usually when they sing a certain verse or reach a bridge or crescendo.   Some songs hang with you forever, through-out your life.  Others you forget and after a long time apart you hear that song again and you get that "wow" factor when you feel it again.

Overall, great songs on a whole are more than great music.  The music is undeniable, but the words give you cause to feel happiness or pain.  You associate those words with what has gone on in your life.  You feel that you wrote those lyrics and that they belong to you.  You imagine yourself saying those words to someone you know or someone in your past and that they are finally hearing you and understanding you like they never did before.  Lyrics in a great son make you believe that in that instant you are finally getting your way. You are finally being understood or cared for.  You are finally being heard and you are motivating that person to act on your words. 

All from a song.  A great song.

Great songs with great lyrics sometimes paint an image in your mind that takes you to a safe place in your mind.  Imagine words like this..

"Watching the city lights... stretch out into the night... I think of you.  I think of you."  Without the music, you are there in that instant.  And from those few words you get such a story. 

I have so many great songs in my life that coupled with great lyrics I feel like ...   more »

Have you ever watched the news and wondered what makes it news?  Who decides it is worth talking about?  It should be you and I.   Why else does famine and dictatorship take a backseat to a Hollywood starlet driving drunk.

I've seen that in all our lives things get distorted or used against us when we didn't mean it that way at all.  Look at me.  I keep this blog and although I vocalize a past sentiment about my past marriage, you'd think from attorney's sending letters saying if I don't pull articles and photos, I'll be sued.  You'd think all I ever talked about here is my past marriage.  But don't you think I should have the right as a writer to meander through discussion without being limited to leaving my years of marriage as a blank void to be skipped over?  Heck, not all of it was bad.  Not all of it was negative.  My point is that we get hit with "pull quote" moments by everyone around us.  The news does it, and people do it.  You know what a pull quote is right?  It's the one quote in length of discussion that is meant to spawn controversy.  It's often taken out of context, thus creating a need to discuss it from many different angles.  You can be dead on innocent folks and get vilified if someone is determined enough.  The media does this based on editors and reporters own personal beliefs that drive the position of the story. 

Then you get a news cycle. The news cycle is the timeline that news is discussed.   The beginning to the end.  A topic comes about, from hurricane devastating a city to bank bandit on the loose.  From the time the storm hits to when it is gone... that is ...   more »

What a horrible custom!  Let's stop this horror! 

Once a year most large offices where folks don't hardly know each other or know enough to resent each other participate in a  Chinese Pollyanna.

Before I blast this horrible horrible thing rightously, here are the details if you have never been a part of one of these tortourous affairs.

Here is how it works:

1. Participants contribute a gift.  Ideally you bring something anyone would enjoy. You all gather for the exchange.

2. Prepare slips of paper equal to the number of gifts with clearly written numbers.  Write out six and nine as 6 and 9 look the same on a scratch paper. 1 from 7. Everyone draws a number.

3. Whoever draws number one goes first.  They pick from the pile of wrapped gifts. Heaven forbid you really like your gift.

4. Whoever drew number two goes next. But... they also get the option of "stealing" a gift opened by any predecessor in this case, it is the only person that opened a gift.  In short... person number one.  The person whom gift had theirs stolen, now opens yet another gift in hopes that no one else will take their gift.  

5. The person who drew number three is our next victim. They pick a gift, pray they don't like it (joke) and wait for the next person to victimize them by taking their gift. . If all goes well, they avoid you and pick an opened gift someone else is in love with.

Here are the other details in case you actually want to torture yourself at Christmas.

1. This party's gift theme is X.
2. The gift theme also follows a price range.
3. The gift should be something someone would actually want or use. It should be in new or good condition. However gag ...   more »

I'd like to examine the word "shallow" today.  Why is not so important. Let's just say I get a lot of e-mail about a lot of subject matter.  Some of which I find disturbing, some of which I find great for writing material.   I'd rather just discuss the word and how shallow behavior or shallow people affect us in our daily lives.

If you look up the word shallow using sites like Wikipedia you'll find that shallow is a tough word.  It reaches beyond genders; it can exist in young or old.  Although you would expect younger people to grow out of  being shallow.  Yet if you think about it, perhaps it is the people that have been around the world that become shallow. 

You've seen me write a lot about people lacking a moral compass.  A shallow person may have that trait but what shallow ultimately is in a person that knowingly disregards the need for emotional depth and intellect.   A person that doesn't have these qualities without purposely disregarding it may be considered dim or mentally retarded.  There are other words you can use, but the point is the person ultimately is not conscious of their behavior.

In short a shallow person is not merely unconcerned what others may think of them, a shallow person aims to not care.   Again there is an element of lacking an moral foundation in that person, but it is conjoined with the lack of depth that makes a person shallow.

If you think about it a person lacking a moral compass as I've discussed in past articles is someone that really can care less what you think and is intellectually on par with you.  I suppose they don't have to be.  There are rapist and killers and thieves out there that ...   more »

In my short life which I've learned is oh so fleeting, there is a short list of lessons with profound importance.  One of those life lessons is the importance of friendship.  Friendship is far more than a state of mind.   Actions are what make a friend.  While there are many virtues in friendship, friendship itself is the greatest virtue that comes with a great debt which can turn a life around. A genuine friendship paves the path to destiny.

The debt of friendship is as complex as it is intangible.  A friendship gone wrong can cost you your life.  I've read that people draw distinctions in friendships, there are friends and then there are close friends.  Close friends are the ones you tell  your secrets to.  Sharing secrets come the risk of betrayal.  You have to ask yourself, is a friend worth risking your secrets over?  I personally know of a person that has no true close friends, not even a lover they can truly call a friend. I often wonder if they know of the this great proverb by Confucius: "Silence is the true friend that never betrays."  For the longest time they would say to me, "Your mouth is your enemy".  It seems now that point is understood in more ways than one. They live this life where their secrets are locked deep inside their own self.  I've often admired such a cold heart.  But paradoxically, 

OK, the question has to have crossed your mind... You are divorced.  You are a father.  How can you possibly be relevant?

Here is the lowdown...  I'm a great friend.  Good cook (and getting better), I'm handy with a hammer, I'm tech heavy and even play paintball.  I look at life through my own unique prism that for the most part is always positive.   Out on a date, shopping for groceries... with the boys (my kids) I have a habit of seeing things in a way that keeps it simple.  I poke fun at life and keep my kids and everyone around me on their toes.  You can count on me to be considerate of everyone, not just the people I'm with, but with everyone I come in contact with.  I'm even calm under pressure.  Well, I may not be exactly calm as I'm an idealist and I'd prefer that the world wasn't so tilted askew!  LOL... But I'm learning to be a compromisationalist!  When some dumb ass demands something ridiculous or I'm ignored... I look at the big picture and if I have to play along with ding-dongs... I go with the flow.   Most importantly I follow the advice of my father... "Son. Sometimes you gotta pick your battles."  And that I do. 

While I hate political correctness and can laugh at jokes about religion, status, nationality or ethnicity, I do not hold prejudices.  I simply think we should all be able to laugh at ourselves. 

While I enjoy being right quite often, I relish the moments I can learn from my mistakes and take a new path from where I may have once been wrong.  I'm always open to objectional viewpoints.

In my life I was a kid that took a lot of shit from other kids and spent a good ...   more »

When my first son was born I had to fight for custody of him.  I was put through some of the most painful emotional stress a person could stand.  The emotional pain was immense.  I taught me something.  It showed me something that most parents never understand, and take for granted...

Every parent should fight for their child and they would appreciate them more.   As a parent you come to learn that every moment, the small ones especially have meaning.  They have profound meaning. Some of us may remember a profound line voiced by Keanu Reaves in movie Parenthood:

"They make you take a test for a driver's licence, but any butt-reaming asshole can be a father."

As a father that had to fight to be a father... the sentiment of the line above sticks with me.  Anyone can be a parent, but how many of us deserve our children?

When my boys brush their teeth and stand next to each other, I sometimes step outside myself and smile.  Call me silly but I've even take photos of these simple moments as one day they will be grown men.  I will have these memories.  And I wouldn't have these memories if I didn't appreciate these times we have together. 

It's not enough to love your kids because they are yours.  Appreciate them and the love will be greater.  Appreciate them and you will know the true sense of family and your family will become closer.   My boys and I are amazingly close.  In the past year we've become closer than I could imagine.  My youngest son wants to protect me with a vengeance.  My oldest son often remarks and laughs about something his younger brother has done, similar to the way I feel.  You grin and smile and you cherish the ...   more »

The Mitchell Report is due very soon.   For years... for decades we have been lied to as fans and most of us have been unaware of the lie.   The lie of our favorite athletes not being real.  Not being naturally gifted to accomplish their achievements. I'm talking about steroid use in sports and in this case, baseball.

The Mitchell Report will expose them.  The Mitchell report will mean that you and I as fans will have to make an important decision.   Do we care?  Because for years we've been able to put our heads in the sand.

It's clear that the fans in the San Francisco bay area don't care.   They have sold their souls to Barry Bonds home run record.  They seem to have anyway.  Why do I say that?   When Barry visited any other ball park he was boo'd as a fraud.  But at home... they hailed him as a Champion of virtue and accepted his accomplishments regardless of steroid use.

The Mitchell Report will name 60 to 80 players genuinely linked to steroid use.  That news should do one of two things.  Seal the deal on apathy or spark a true awareness in fans about fraudulent accomplishments.   We will either accept that cheating is acceptable or we will finally make a stand and care who we hero worship in the world of sports.

More of a concern is that the Mitchell Report is also going to implicate not only the players but the commissioners office and baseball union.  This to me means that Baseball will protect it's own interest and de-emphasize the issue entirely, thus taking the spotlite off the players and help the problem go away.

This does nothing for us the fans as we have no voice to share our objections and our hopes of ...   more »

My son and I watched Kid Nation's final episode tonight.   While there was no BIG winner or rose to be accepted and all that nonesense... there were three more gold star winners.  And what struck me was that when there brought all the parents into to town to see their children... everyone was emotional, the kids the parents, everyone.  I'm betting people watching were too.  I was.

Why? because we all got to know these kids these past few months.  We wanted to see them grow and for me.. I wanted to see what their parents sent off.   I wanted to see how they represented their families.  When the parents showed up, all I heard was, "I missed you."  I must say that so many parents had to be proud. 

Then when they awarded the last gold stars... It was especially amazing to see how these kids made their parents proud.  It was great to see all season long how each child wanted to make their mom and dad proud. 

Each week I would talk to my son and we'd have our own Kid Nation decisions to make.  Who did we think earned a Gold star?  Would some of the kids change and get it right?  What would their parents think?

I was glad to watch this show every week. I was glad to see that the kids didn't have too much short term vision.  And at other times I was reminded.. they are kids... we can't expect them to be adults. 

But they sure did handle some great grown up decisions.  My son is absolutely dying to be on Kid Nation and I hope we get the chance to at least explore that possibilty one day.  Until then, I think now he understands a little better that each lesson ...   more »

If you are like me, you would never think some things could change. When you were a child did you see the world around you and really... never expect it to change?   No matter who we are we all look back and think, "I never expected the world to change." Not like it has.

I recall playing in the creek... alone.  Sometimes with friends, or just plain exploring the woods for hours behind my home. I recall walking two miles to the shopping center with friends at the age of ten.  I remember my parents leaving me and  second grade date at the movie theater to see Robin Hood.   I remember Christmas.  I remember how the family would sit at the television for Christmas Specials and that familiar saying that really sparked excitement in me... "The regularly scheduled program has been cancelled tonight so that we may bring you the following special presentation."  I recall my mother baking cookies, it seemed like an endless supply too.  In short, the world and Christmas seemed so much more innocent.

Like everything else in our world, Christmas has changed.   Sure there are movies that offer up what are supposed to be typical families in New England settings with snow on the ground and fires lit in the fire place all the time.   But even those movies are now filled with not just quirky flawed Characters but what at one time would have been thought impossible, outrageous people.  Intolerable.   Even the stories are sad.  Last year a movie about scores of children from divorced families being trapped in an airport was a comedy.  Life wasn't always this way.

As I grew up I saw Christmas change.    I recall when the biggest problem anyone had with Christmas was the message, "Remember folks, Christ is the ...   more »

Well, we've been to the tree farm.  We've baked cookies, baked pretzels (from scratch) and I've done my shopping.  Thanks to a customer that owed us from a job done a year ago!  So I've got some bills paid and room to get the kids gifts and of course the special people in my life.   I had to leave the office today and took the afternoon to finish my shopping. 

Now I used to lament wraping gifts, but this year... I'm greatful for the opportunity. I'm glad I could get gifts for the people that count in my life.  They say it is the thought that counts... In this case, I've been thinking hard.  I've been prayin hard!

This Christmas will be my second Christmas on my own as a single full time father of two.  It suits me.  Tonight my boys sat on the couch working together at a game.  It was a moment I have always looked forward to.  My baby boy grew up in front of my eyes and is now his own person.  My youngest son is now doing the same.  And they really do look out for each other.  Christmas this year is special.   We used to live in constant pressure.  We used to have someone come home everyday and spray anger at us.  Now we are happy.   Something like this is hard to express.   You can't help but be happy for what you have.

I live in a big house.  How long, who knows. Lord knows I'm losing money every day I live in it.  But for now, each day the sun shines in and my boys love what they have.  I love what we have.  We have each other in a world that could have eaten us up and spit out the bones.  I've ...   more »

What are the little things in life that matter to you?   Think for instance about just having someone in your life that even when they are not there with you, they are there for you.  You are sitting down to an evening in bed, or on the couch after a long rewarding day... and a program you both enjoy comes on the TV.  You can call them and talk about it.  Those moments can be so rewarding. 

Life is about the little things, not only the big things.  For instance when I went to Bermuda it was a lost weekend I'll always remember.  There was a ski trip I took with someone I loved.   There was another ski trip I took with a bunch of friends on another weekend trip.  For all my trips, I still can't help but rank one of my simple afternoons skating in Central Park right up there with great life experiences. 

While the birth of each of my son's are really perhaps the two single greatest days of my life, I've learned in my life that I can get a lot out of the little things that happen to me too.   Those days are hard acts to follow, but looking forward to a date on a Friday night is a feeling we often take for granted. 

I try and keep life's experiences in perspective.   So many people have so much they take for granted.  It's important to be grounded.   It's important to remember that it's the little things that make you happy.  Like your son getting out of his chair to give you a hug for cooking dinner.

Remember to stop and smell the roses today folks.  We are all lucky just to be alive. Try and let some little thing in life make you ...   more »

Let's all give the boot to Boot Road.   If there is one road that over all my years on this planet that has been more annoying, it is Boot Road in West Chester PA.  In theory Boot Road connects West Chester to Downingtown.  But for me, it connects nothing.  You can't just get on Boot Road without having to almost immediately get off. Nor can you drive around West Chester without crossing the damn thing.  It's a stupid name for a stupid road. 

I say we ban the road.  It's useless.  Just doze it over and plant trees.  Nobody will miss it.  Google Boot Road and you can't even find out how the damn thing got its name.  The thing just meanders around but who actually needs to get on Boot Road to go anywhere?  Name one person that gets on it go drive to work or drive to the store.  It's good for this.. "OK to drive to my house you turn left here, turn left there and you cross Boot Road."  But who ever says, "Get off 202 onto Boot Road..." ? 

So please good people of West Chester, do your self a favor and ban Boot Road.  You won't miss it.  I promise.

Today is one of those days where you just feel good.  I've got a fun weekend planned, I've got some Christmas shopping to do and there is snow on the ground, more where I'm going. :)  I'm in a great mood.

So to share the warmth I thought I'd share some music I'm listening to...

My Best Friend - Queen (great video and video quality)

"Oooh your making me live!"

Electric Dreams - Phillip Oakly (dated video, but a great feel good song and lyrics)

"We'll always be together, however far it seems!"

Follow You Follow Me - Genesis (Perfect song, a long time personal favorite)

"In your arms, I fee so safe and so secure"

Mary's Prayer - Danny Wilson (A favorite band of mine, heartfelt song.  I can't say enough for this song or this band)

"Save me, save me!  Leave the light on in heaven for me"

Feels Like Heaven - Fiction Factory (This song is painfully beautiful, lyrically an eriee masterpeice)

"Twisting the bones until they snap... heaven is closer... You wanted all that I had to give.. see me I feel, see me I live!"

Ok... enough of this ... go enjoy if you are happy. ;)

Winter kills, death to your memories like fading frames
Winter kills her hope and we don't dream
Winter tears time from our memory
Winter kills time and we miss what we don't see

Once there was summer in her heart
Once summer passed she drifted too far
Our secrets forgotten, our photos fade
Those memories crumble like ice on this day

Winter kills, she's frozen in time
We've never been closer or further apart
One icy eternal thought in her mind
She regrets emotions she no longer feels

Incessant and cruel, winter kills what was you
Blind without color contrast or hue
Winter kills, winter steals
Winter kills you

There is no north no south no east or west
Winter kills everything, no less
Winter kills have come, winter kills will stay

Arctic winds blow in your heart mind and soul
They refuse to answer your eternal cry to just let go

Winter kills are here in your heart to stay
Winter kills burn like ice and cut your lifelines away
She pays the price for my burden and her regret

Winter pains her desire in my virtuous absence
She's just our of reach of the life she lost
Frozen in time, frozen as winter kills
I'm far from her eyes, but no longer blind

If I ever seen her again what would I say?
Those nights we spent together
They are not lost in time
They are frozen in my mind

It was brought to my attention the other day that someone has been posting personal attacks on me on women's web sites.   I don't have a long list of suspects as to whom has done this as I've only been married once and that I was the victim of a five year affair by my spouse.  The posts were made during a time I was separated and in the course of being divorced.  We can all only hazzard a guess to who or whom it could be. 

So of course I've had to begin the course of action that hopefully will bring an amicable resolution.  Mind you, what I'm finding is false information.

One thing I must say. I don't know who did this, but it takes a real low person to do such a thing. I mean it takes a slimy person to stoop this low.