Do you ever talk to yourself? Not aloud of course but still - you have these conversations ...everyday. Maybe not everyday. Maybe rarely. Perhaps it's just a fleeting moment. You're driving in your car and you see something that makes you think or you are watching a movie alone and a character says or does something that makes you look at your own life. And you talk to yourself.

I think in these moments is when we really know our true self. And we can't lie. We don't lie. We are at peace with our paleolithic underpinnings. We don't even notice that we are good and evil all in the same breath. We are honest with our self because we don't sit in judgment of our self in the same way others would.

One day I sat on the grass after a long day of running errands. I looked at my old family home and thought of how I grew up there and how in all my life I've done so much, traveled so far and yet here I was back again sitting in the grass in at my old family home. I had to think a moment and evaluate the success or failure of my life. What makes one a success, and what makes one a failure? I sat down, almost in tears as I sighed and thought to myself I was being honest with myself and no one was around to judge me.

No this is not a rant. This is not a philosophy article, it's not an advice or help article either.

Today I just wanted to write something you may not often see me write. That in each one of us there is a person that no one in the world may honestly really know or ...   more »

Some free advice to those of you thinking that only you know suffering.  Only you have it hard.  Life sucks, blah blah blah.  Your girl left, you lost your job, or whatever it is, you have resolved to have forgotten how to enjoy the simple concept of breathing in and out.

Here is the answer.

While you are living in that dark place, life is passing you by.   Each moment, each minute each day that you live in your bête noire the world around you leaves you behind.  You can be a part of it, or miss out on what it offers.  It is - what you make it.
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I had an argument once with a lover.  I have to tell you she was the first woman in years to provoke me into telling her what I thought of her.  Not how I viewed her on a whole but those little idiosyncrasies that if you mentioned, would hurt their feelings.   You know... those little things that annoy you about the person you are with, but you just don't say.  You find yourself just eating resentment for the sake of a safe relationship.   Well during what appeared a permanent break up  she broke me down or I just didn't care...  I let her have it.  Verbally.  I told her most every little thing that was wrong with her. Let also repeat, she provoked me.  Was I wrong to react? Absolutely but I should also be understood that I didn't draw first blood. It was her that said some ugly things meant to be cruel and inflict emotional pain.  One could argue that what is good enough for the goose is good enough for the gander.   (What's good for a girl is good for a boy).

In retrospect I think, why her?  We all have break ups.  Ninety-Nine Percent of mine are amicable.  Why then with the few others I've had unflattering break-ups with  had I chosen this one woman to insult?  To be dead honest, the reason I came to accept it,  is that in some of those break-ups I was the one being dumped.  I was the one that deserved better than to be insulted on the way out and instead of reacting, I responded without counter-attacking. I walked away without uttering a negative word.  But on the occasion I'm speaking of I lost some self-respect.   It was only so long that I could be a 'nice' guy before I finally cracked.  She was the unfortunate recipient of my ire.  Having said this, I could been more venomous with my words.  I  was restrained, but for all my restraint I'm left with this one fact.  I can't take those words back.  I believe I said them because I felt I wouldn't have to reconsider my words.   Still, I didn't need to worry in the past either yet I kept my trap shut.  

Of course in today's world, women don't fight fair either.  You can hold the winning hand of righteousness but proclaim it and they'll fight dirty for the sake of winning. It almost makes no sense.  I think that's another reason I'm motivated to just know what I know and leave unscathed.   Before I was married, I dated a girl that I caught cheating.  My friend called me from the restaurant telling me I should come see for myself.  When I did, I sat down and said, "Did I catch you at a bad time?"  Her reaction?  Days later she started calling the police accusing me of harassing her.   So even in the right you can find yourself being screwed over.  Better to just move on with the knowledge of being right. So if you women readers think men don't get their fair share of nut-jobs and stalkers... wrong.  I think another reason was I've seen men get run over by game playing and once again I let myself react as I felt like it was time a guy didn't just 'take it'.

I don't know how it is for all men.  I can only speak for myself but I'm not the type to argue.  If you piss me off, I'll   more »

One difference between you and I, your heart is inside your head
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Yes you've shown your feelings
Yes you've shown your tough
Some things are worth believing
Your tears are not enough
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The old is old and over, the new has just begun
And standing in the rain never felt so much like the sun
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I'd always hoped I'd build my world around you,
And it's a miracle I ever found you.
Do the colors of the rainbow radiate to everyone?

Now I don't know how I could live without you,
But certainly I know I'm not about to.
I don't believe in anything I see unless I can feel it too.


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She plays it so dramatic, a silhouette of soul
It's automatic, he won't ever let go
She wants a tender lover, a clean and honest man
Why she keeps on running, I just don't understand

In between the faces, on the out-of-bounds
They could find the places no one else could have found
She's in expectation, he's in search of truth
A simple soul equation ...one and one heart is two   more »

Tomorrow is not real. It is an illusion. The only reality is now.   more »

I'm not sure if this is filed under Men's Help, Philosophy, or maybe just Words of Instinct.  You decide.

I'm not a hard man.  To know me is to see a dedicated father that may have no other purpose but to be a good father.  Yet, when my children are away, I enter back into the world of single people.  I enjoy days alone without female company.  And I date. 

There is this unspoken dogma of dating.  A general expectation among daters is to settle in or settle down or conform to the standard societal expectations of a the traditional anglo monogamous relationships.  The path or journey of every relationship leads to an exclusive relationship.  And of course, to you friends of mine reading my blog articles... you know I was married.  You know what I've been through.   The rest of you, avid readers, or people just dropping in to read an article or two... You know I'm a feircely proud single full time father of two.

The questions always come back to,  "What is it you are looking for Lars?"  I've tried to answer with, "I don't owe anybody an answer."  It never seems to be enough to stop the questioning.  And what of my own privacy?  I've actually had to learn to fight for it here while using my own life experiences to write meaningful and/or entertaining articles.

I'm a writer.  I write here to entertain, to offer insight and help where I can. My life is my own.  But the questions do keep coming.  "Don't you want somebody to love?"  and perhaps the most asked question, "Why are you alone?"

Let me then answer you the question with a zen teaching I happen to follow: "Tie two birds together and though they have four wings, ...   more »

They could find the places
No one else could have found
She's in expectation
He's in search of the truth
A simple soul equation: One and one heart is two
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Life's no cruise with a cool chick. 

Too many folks feeling car sick.

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Instinct sees beyond perception for what truly is.

-Lars Hindsley

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I was talking to a friend of mine
He makes sense from time to time
He told me about secrets of survival
All's fair in love and war
You win some but you lose a lot more
You can't hold onto a heart that's dying

I Started thinking about a girl I knew
And all the pain I put her through
Where is she now when I need someone to save me?

Reminiscing is the only way out
But I've got no one left to dream about
They come and they go
No using trying

You say you know my kind
But you waste your time
You're falling into Danger

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They say that if you're young at heart you can't grow old

And youth can be bought with what you jingle or you fold

Are we rich or are we poor?

I still don't know and I want to be sure.

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I held an iron fist in a velvet glove
I was silk sheathed in steel
I'd disguise every nerve inside of me
Man, I'd forgotten how to feel.   more »

I don't that I'm afraid of you,

But something makes me want to walk away.

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