My oldest son is becoming a young man before my eyes. Still my son, but becoming his own person. It happens before your eyes. Your life passes you by. Then you look at a photo. It's years old but you didn't notice where the years had gone. The photo takes you back in time and you suddenly realize how short life is.
The same happened to me tonight with a song. My boys are in bed and I while I enjoy the sense of fatherhood and familyhood that few parents appreciate so dearly, I'm ever so aware that every day draws me closer to the day they are grown and will go their own way.
I check on them in their bunk beds and sit at my desk peacefully working. My music is keeping me company.
Then a song plays that triggers a fond emotion. It's one that triggers a profound feeling of closeness between my son and I. It's called Walking Out Of Stride. He was just a little boy of six years old when the song came out. Like now, I would talk to him about meaningful things. I recall talking to him saying, "This is our song son." And yes at six years old he held the conversation. I remember him interacting on it from both a musical appreciation and human curiosity of the words. I remember the exact words he first said to me, "What do you mean Dad?" I can't remember my exact words but I remember the point I made. It was about us going through so much together and that he was a part of me like I was a part of him. "I'm your dad. We share the same blood." We've had that conversation more than once and not just because of this song. Yet I know this song was absolutely one of those things that made me talk to my son about how close we were. The words to Walking Out of Stride are pure and short:
You and me could never hide
Too busy walking out of stride
Take 1 2 3 and 4 or 5
People talking keeps us alive
So you see, for a six year old boy these were simple words to grasp and the song has a genuine innocence that perhaps only a father and son can appreciate as we would sing it to ourselves.
I recall how we would put out our fingers for each number we sang... "Take 1,2,3, and 4 or 5..."
Walking across a parking lot my son would reach for my hand and I sing softly, "You and me could never hide" and he'd then sing, "Too busy walking out of stride". We'd do this in the mall too. I hear these words from this song and I'm suddenly back in 2002. A time when I wasn't worried about my families future or my son's. The innocence of the song tugs at my heart making wish that time travel were possible, I could make life better and keep it that way. Of all the people in the world you want to make happy, it's your children you never want to let down.
I used to have videos of my son when he was that age but someone stole them all. Now all I have are my memories and the good things that surround them.
It's a pretty song. And yes, my son does remember it. Just last month he heard it at my desk and he came in and put a hand on my shoulder. "You and me dad." I do remember that moment. I grinned a little, turned my head just enough for him to see my smile and said something about how life is what we make it. But in my heart, when I hear this song I see my son as that six year old boy that said "Daddy" so much that I almost went crazy. I see us in the hardware store where I'm pushing a stakebody and he's standing on it for a free ride. He's my son and I'm his dad and was an innocent time. Yes, my youngest son and my oldest son both have other songs we all latch onto, but this one belongs to just me and my oldest. Enjoy the moment you are in folks because you can't grasp time you can only reminisce it.
