I've been working on a personal book for my family to read one day.  Truly a labor of love.  Days such as today are pensive and thoughtful.   However today I won't write privately, I think I'd like to tell this story publicly...

Today's little league games were rained out.  And I because of the rain I didn't want my son waiting in the rain for me outside school since we no longer live in the neighborhood.  When I picked him up he asked what our plans were. I said, "We are still going clothes shopping, just no game."  First we picked up his younger brother from pre-school, which is generally the other way around, but because of the rain...

I had to drop a letter at the post office and my youngest insists "I can do it dad, let me!"  I tell him, "OK, go straight through the doors and put it in the slot.  Ask people if you can't find it."  Watching him the whole way, I saw pride beaming off of him.  He strolls back to the car, "Did it!" 

"Yes you did." I answered with a wry grin.

I'm a single full time father.  Two boys both from different mothers.  Each year Mother's Day comes around and my eldest son; now eleven tells me, "Happy Mother's Day" and he gives me a kiss on the cheek.  He's been doing it for about four years now.  However when my ex-wife and I separated two years ago, the act of him doing this became a bit more heartfelt.  I never asked him if anyone put him up to it, but even this past weekend, Mother's Day 2008 he did it again.  It got me to thinking...

Children need parents that love them.  In a perfect world they will have a mother and father that are with them throughout childhood.  A mother to nurture them in the early years and a father to guide them and participate with them as they grow.  Along the way both lines between parents intersect.  It seems to me the natural order of things.  Children have parents, two parents.   While in case of  wild animals sometimes a mother is all they need, and at other times a father is all a wild animal needs, in the case of humans I can see a child can do no better than two parents, together.

So when for what-ever reason a child is left with one parent or more commonly now, split parents you have to ask yourself what does this mean to a child?  Look at mine for example, he tells me "Happy Mother's Day" and I'm his father. I know he loves his mother and she is a part of his life but as I have for most of his life been fortunate enough to raise him primarily...  I sense in him ...almost pity for me. Yes, you read that right.  Obviously he doesn't see me as his ...   more »