My articles often offer buried morals, mysteries and meanings. The article title Nobody Ever Loved Me That Much is a misnomer.  I am loved that much. ;) 

The point of the article is two-fold. 

1. You can find a positive if you choose to.

2. The love of family loves you that much.

Now what you should also know.  I wrote that article early in the morning.  The day was longer than the microcosm of my morning.  My day didn't go to plan.  But my phone rang regularly and friends did rally.  Save for a weird text message exchange from some whack-o,  I had a great day.  As always, good riddence to bad baggage. LOL The best part was my day ended as it started.  With my kids.  We played Sorry, sat by the fire and I never got enough hugs.

Anyone that scoffs at positive energy can stick it.

LOL

I write about being positive. To some of my readers it may be enough to disgust you as it may come off being self-righteous.  I'm not self-righteous.  I'm as flawed as any of you, and I'm certainly no better.  Today is a good example of all the points above.

Today is a special day, or was meant to be.  It didn't turn out he way intended.  It rained, ruining plans.  People I know let me down.  It is life.  My children have come into my bed room early and I find myself wanting to just be left alone due to the aggravation.  So you see, I'm not perfect. And although I never claimed to be, I know the image you may get from me here is that I see myself as above others.  That is a misconception if you see me that way.  I do know my worth and I've worked hard to earn my self respect.  OK, that point is made.

But I woke today in what should have been a good mood, only to find...

Tie to birds together, and although they have four wings - they cannot fly.

I first came to this knowledge at the age of 15.  Wisdom wasted on youth.   The years have been good to me and love has been honest, you could say I'm victim of the darkest shade of happiness.  I see sweet smiles but know what is behind the eyes of my lover.  Instinct tells me ...Tie two birds together, and although they have four wings - they cannot fly.

All of love's answers are answered by instinct.  All love is hard.  Hard to find, hard to get, and hard to hold.  

Why even raise the subject?  Sometimes we ignore the obvious.  I don't.  Not anymore.  Tie to birds together, and although they have four wings - they cannot fly.  Do I fight this truth?  My proverb is not subjective. 

There is only one question.  Do I have the strength to go?  

I WROTE THIS ARTICLE IN 2005 AND NEVER POSTED

A friend once told me, "Lars you have so much power over women, if you only knew how to use it."  I was naive. When I found a love that was meant to last, it was pure accident.  

Only heaven can tell you if I ever had power over women.  I never knew it.  I never saw it.  I just knew that being happy with myself may draw another happy person to me.  People told me to not to look for love and I knew their remarks were subjective. Yet I was wise enough than to think I should look for love.  I knew something--more.  I couldn't run away from a memory.   A song would manifest from what I knew 'better'.  It was Forced Fate.  I had inherent knowledge that I could not make a woman love me, but I could put myself in her path to find me.  To that end I could force fate and not look for love, rather I'd put myself in love's path.  I just needed to live, and be happy.  Getting out there in life solved all my problems.  I would let myself dream.  I choose to be happy.

One day I found myself single again. ...   more »

Oh Love.  Such a hard word.  I posted an article today that seemed to have indicated I was beyond it etc... Oh believe me readers... My personal life is so personal you wouldn't know if I was married or gay. LOL  If there is any one thing I've accomplished as a blogger, it's been keeping my personal life secret. 

So as I discuss love here.  Don't assume a damn thing about me personally, lest you question your sanity later.

Love...  It is such a hard word.  That we can all agree on.  I wrote a song once, Hard To Get.  Yes, the same name as my band.  I recall changing the words a bit for when I performed on stage, "...and love is such a hard word, hard words in my head, and this man is... hard to get"   

Then I was gotten!  LOL  For almost ten years.  And here is what I've questioned ever since.

Can love get you a glass of tea?  Can love rub your shoulders after a long day? Does love take care of you when you are sick with the flu?  Or does Love tell you to get our own tea, or rub your own back or stop whining.  LOL 

The answer is neither.  Love is proactive, not reactive.  Love may ask "what can I do for you"  but to me love goes further.  Love reaches for your hand, love asks you about your hard day and knows you need a rub.   Love serves you breakfast in bed for no other reason but love. 

Love is such a hard word.

I've kept romance at a distance in my life since my single marriage ended.   The lessons of it I continue to learn to this day.  All good.

But what of romance for the sake of romance it self?    There are lessons in life that teach me about romance.   For instance, our nature is to find appreciation in places only after we have left them.  Of course you enjoy your stay on a tropical island or a rich friend's estate or even a day in the park.   What I learned of that is the same comes of romance.  You never really understand or more importantly appreciate what you had until you have left it. 

Sometimes you want others to appreciate romance in you, only to be looked over or ignored.  You then arrive at the conclusion, "How can they appreciate me if they never had the chance to experience me?"  Because romance is not something you write about or talk about or pine away for.  It's something you need to be a part of to truly understand it.  Only then can you really appreciate it.

Only when you really have felt the power of love can you speak romantic words.  Love is an action. Not just a word sitting idly.   I recall once denying myself these words to someone I loved.  "I can't imagine day without you in it."    Romantic words that were only possible by having experienced romance. 

I am most likely more confident than I should be.  I measure my decisions and actions before acting upon them to protect me from making mistakes due to my confidence.  Yet for all the walls or barriers I have up to keep romance at a distance in my life, I do know what it is.