I've been reading that war veterans are upset over this years Academy Award nominee The Hurt Locker. I get it, the continuity is wrong, the story is far fetched and it's generally insulting to war vets.

But what we must all realize, (war vets too) is that it's entertainment. As long as something is plausible then viewers can give a pause to reality and accept the unreal. And frankly to all you war vets, I know you want us civilians to know this film doesn't represent the Iraq War as it truly is. But give most of us credit for knowing the difference between Hollywood and real life. When I watched the character William James strut through enemy fire I knew that man - no matter how big his balls are would do such a lame brain thing in action unless he really just was ready to die and was eventually going to die pulling that crap. In addition, from the simple act of playing paintball week-after-week for years, I've learned you NEVER stand out in the open to take aim. You always shoot from cover. Nobody in ANY armed forces ever shoots from out in the open. I see this in countless films and have to forgive this bravado bull-crap as Hollywood's license to infer a characters bravery. I get it, but it's dumb.

Take for instance that many others go through the same angst when watching things on film that we should all walk out of the theater on but we don't.

Example? Star Wars. You can't have explosions in space. The Death Star, should anything ever be created on such scale, wouldn't explode in flames, let alone any ships.

Then there is TV. Since when do life's problems get resolved in a half an hour ...   more »

Last week (February 18th 2010) a fellow American committed what some are calling a terrorist act. In his anger towards the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) Joe Stack (53) made the decision to fly his own small plane into his local IRS building in Austin Texas. When many more could have died there is thankfully so far, only one victim to die from this act. One victim is too many and that is a certainty. I mean no disrespect to Vernon Hunter the lone death of many victims. Vernon Hunter's son Ken Hunter has gone on record calling the plane crash by Joe Stack into the IRS building 'terrorism'. Stack was so pissed at the IRS he torched his own home leaving his wife and daughter homeless. In the end, many call what Joe Stack did an act of terrorism. It's not. Here is why. A terrorist - as sick as they are represent a cause. And they want to use a terrorist act as a means of causing attention for their cause. They want others to join their cause and be inspired by it to do the same. As far as I can remember, terrorist usually give up their lives with hopes of making their loved ones they leave behind rich because family members are often compensated by the terrorist organizations. If that's true, Joe Stack's burning of his own home doesn't line up with the mental model of a terrorist. Joe Stack was not a part of any grass roots movement or organization to further a cause. His battle with the IRS was specific. While it's true that terrorist flew plans into our world trade centers in September of 2001, it by no means - means that flying a plane into a building is a terrorist act. The act ...   more »

You know, romance is a time sink. 

It is.  While it can be great fun to have someone make you feel good about being alive, why do we live for that feeling?  I'm glad to be alive period.  I used to think that the friendship and admiration a woman could bestow upon me was a big deal.    To what end does it serve? 

I've heard you have to 'work for love'.  Why?  Why does anyone have to meet up to expectations or work for affection and love?   Men and women are wired differently.  Men accept women for what they are or they do not.  Women, like men on the surface and quickly stir up the minutia of their paleolithic underpinnings of superficial desire by criticizing a man at every step for not being perfect in every category.

I've had a great life.  I've done a lot.  I had some great relationships, and not so great ones.    The relationships I've experienced help make me who I am now.  The value of what I am is a collection of my life experiences.   My ex wife used to condemn me for ever having dated before her.  I thought, "What the f?"  So I had to bury and forget every story of what I had gone through as it related to a woman.  I had to box up and crate all my past photos if they had an ex-girlfriend or girl 'friend' in them.   It was a strange demand, but I accepted it.  I accepted my ex-wife faults and all.  

Was it wrong of me?   Who knows.  But here is what I do know is 'right' now.  I may find romance again, and if I do, it will happen without pressure and I won't have to work for love.  Otherwise romance is a time ...   more »

Bitter?  Hell yeah. I'm a Phillies fan.  One that wore my hat before they became the powerhouse they are.  As a Phillies fan I can't complain that the Yankees won, the fans and the team itself wanted to play the best team in baseball and make it something to be proud of.

Again, I'm not writing this to offer excuses for why the Phillies lost.  They lost to the better team.  I'm about to tell you what sucks about losing to this particular 'better team'.


One thing is certain and satisfying, the Phillies didn't buy up all the all-stars around the league to assemble a team of prostitutes.   I love the city of New York, I think the people of New York are pretty damn nice.    I would root on the Yankees if Steinbrenner didn't own the team.  He's handed over the team to his son so I guess I'll never root for the Yankees. 

The Yankees had a montra this post season, it was, "WIN IT FOR THE BOSS".   That epitomizes the empty BS that it takes to be a Yankee.  You know what the Phillies montra was? ...    more »

Time for a rant.  Last night I watched the Phillies and Yankees in the 2010 World Series.  Before the game was a musical ceremony.  No big deal right?  Well, for me when an act is on stage, they should at least look like they showed up.

Jay-Z and Alicia Keys played a tribute song to New York, but the downer was not that they lip sync'ed like every other band.  No.  The downer was they had this mock rock band backing them up that looked like it was part of their personal entourage having chance to stand on stage and pretend to be musicians. 

I don't know of anyone else noticed or cared, but I did.   That jack ass of a ass kisser and attack dog Perez Hilton squawked out his ass today that Jay-Z and Alicia Key's quote and unquote... "rocked it!"   Are you kidding me?  When ever the camera rolled across the many band members they looked lost as they didn't mark a cord with their fingers let a long hold their fingers on the fret board.   The drummer didn't hold his sticks in any imaginary position over the drum set, didn't make a play on the high-hat, it was hilarious to watch.   Let's lot leave at the keyboardist, yes the camera rolled an overhead shot of him tapping the same two chopstix strokes.

Yeah Perez Hilton, they rocked it.  Let me guess, you like them.  



My interpretation of the performance was what everyone else should have noticed if they were not busy being lazy American's snacking on dip.    This is why America is made fun of folks.  We have idiots worshiping laziness.

I'm in a real bad mood today folks.  Not because   more »

I'd like to discuss the concept of teaming up with evil.    And I don't mean the kind where, the enemy of my enemy is my friend.  No, I mean when a good person or a person that may at least think of themselves as good, ends up selling out their own moral fiber to evil. 

In short, if  someone makes a claim to you and you don't validate it, you may find out later that by you're failure to substantiating their claim may put yourself on the wrong side of a fight.  The side that is evil.

I will give you an example.  Let's say you are a doctor.  Someone comes to you for    more »

I've got a rant to make, and if you are a woman please read carefully.  Men are people too.  I'm really tired of this 'women' do everything talk.  You could have said this 40 years ago, but in today's agenda based society it's getting old. 

Women can't proclaim in one voice they are equal to men and in the other claim they do everything.  Look at President Obama's wife Michelle.  In a speech to representatives of "Women's Chamber of Commerce" and "National Council of Negro Women" she proclaims, "Women are the ones to do it," in reference to taking care of families needs from family illness to check-books.

Before I whip out the cute quips like, "What data does she have to support this?"  I'd like to discuss rationally why are men so crapped on?  Seriously.  Walk a mile in our shoes.  Oh sure we can go out and play football or chop down a tree then hang out with the guys and talk macho bullshit over a beer, and all that other stereotypical nonsense but god forbid anyone let alone a women recognize a man as a functional family member or decent human being. 

I know, I've been through it, and I go through it.  I had someone use the 'gender' card in the same way people use the 'race' card to further their agenda.

Meanwhile we men are expected to just 'take it' otherwise any response or form of dissension WILL be labeled as hostile.  We men read this tripe in the papers or see it on the news and we bite our tongues.  We have no choice.  To speak up is to be "chauvinistic." I'm betting by the time you are done reading this if you are woman,   more »

In my short life I've met a great number of fellow Christians.  My own father is a Deacon at the same Baptist church attended for the past 20 some odd years.  I've dated many girls, and when I married met many different Christian types of all sects. 

I've come to appreciate every type, even the Pentecosts (lightning strikes them in the isles - it's hilarious). In fact some of my best friends are Pentecostals.  But one thing I have to wonder about is home schooled Christians.  I'd say I've met and known pretty well about 7 families that home schooled.   What I've seen is to a man, their kids want out as soon as they come of age.  This one family in a neighborhood where I lived...  The kids were so two faced to their parents it was amazing.  Now I'm not saying they didn't love their parents, but they wanted out.  They wanted out but NEVER let on their parents. They didn't pick colleges on the opposite side of the country for no reason.  They didn't want to break their  parents hearts so they lived a lie under their parents noses.  

What I also learned and here is where my inspiration for this article sprang from came up...  (http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=108084 - copy of article below in case article vanishes) is that all of them really were not prepared for the world when they did leave their parents.  One girl... She baby sat my kid.  I tried to teach her computer skills years ago.  She was socially inept and lazy about life.  She was beyond innocent, she was naive.  Then when she moved out, she hid her core personality from her parents.   She rented my friends apartment when he left the country for six months and she threw wild parties.  He ...   more »

OK, are you on Facebook?  Or MySpace?  Sorry, I'm about to offend.  Well, sorta.  After all, you all know I'm not on Facebook or MySpace and my reason long ago was the lack of autonomy.  However over time, I learned another big reason I was glad not to be in that world.  Narcissism.   And yes, I'm acutely aware of my own behavior on my own blog.  Aside from family photos and sharing with friends, family and colleagues some of what I'm doing, I've come to learn what I say can make me look like and ass if I'm not careful.  So I am.

Here are my basic rules when I write. 

1. Will anything I write haunt me later?
Court battles with ex-wife taught me this lesson.  She had every friend she knew scouring my blog for dirt and waited to pounce on anything I wrote in hopes of using it against me in court.  Then there is potential employers.  If you know me, I've got two current forms of income and in today's economy, it ain't cutting it.  So I'm looking for third form of income.  Any prospective employer won't find anything about me that says social misfit. In fact, I know I'd do a company proud.

2. Reach and Readability.
How wide is the reach of what I write and is it written well enough for a repeat read?

3. Usefulness
Have I written something that will be searched for days, months and years from now?

I can go on but you get the idea. 

But let's back up a bit...  I have to watch out for the pitfalls of the MySpace and Facebook mentality.  What is that?  Well, check out this list of 'types' I found in an article on CNN. You'll get a kick out of ...   more »

Does anyone remember when I wrote an article a few years back about American Decadence?  Titled Conflicted over American Decadence, my deeper point was that we Americans lost touch with the beauty of life and that we could find happiness in the things we do, not the things we have.  I often thought about it after writing that article and as the economy began to decline into a deplorable state, I too found that the finer things in life revolved around the people I chose to surround myself with, not the things I owned.

Like or not, with our recession it seemed everyone got the attitude adjustment our country needed.  OK, not everyone but it seemed the depth of the recession reached a cross section of people.  TV magazine shows began discussing the affects of recession on lifestyle and the lifestyle was not just clipping coupons it was families not eating out, so what did they do?  Families sat together at the dinner table, together.  Suddenly as many couples divorcing were just as easily NOT divorcing as they understood the value of being together.  Families came together because they understood what was important in life. 

This is a time in our country where for a short while we will adjust the way we live and look at life with respect for the things we once ignored.  More people are getting into shape because they can't afford to anything else!  Look at me, I found that I could skate to my grocery store instead of driving.  While doing this mundane act, I came to realize that I was not only saving money on fuel for my car and keeping the mileage lower - not only was I becoming more healthy and fit, I was enjoying the simple experience of skating ...   more »

Unless you live in a bubble (some do) or enjoy an alternate perspective of life (ignorance is bliss), then I propose we all live in chaos.  Even if you think you live on the edge of chaos, you are wrong. It surrounds you.  You cannot evade it.    Life is a song, it's a riddle and it is no test drive.  I've said this to people when they ask why I seem energetic.  

While you may think I'm evoking some age old theory, I'm not.  I simply know that by all I see around me there is far too many objects in life that are unstable, serendipitous and fragile to assume I can control anything.  And really -- control is fascist.  Now if you are really sharp, you know I've written a song I'm quite fond of.  Forced Fate.  In it tell of how a man has put his self in the path of a woman for the sake of finding love.   Can you force fate?  Yes.  But life is still chaos.  She may not love you forever.  You can't control love, her or your life.  One cancer cell may be hiding in your body right now, despite your best efforts in living healthy.  I guess I should have just said  space and time can never occupy the same place.    But really, would you care?

Instead let me leave you with this...

I think of her, standing on the horizon and her bright skin shining in the sun. 
I see her there, waiting patiently my elbows on are the sill.
The distance between us is chaotic. 
How will we ever be together? 
Nothing is ever what we see, it is only what we believe it to be.
She is by my side.

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Is it just me or do the facebook photo shots women take of themselves and place on dating sites look ridiculous?  I mean, when I see a profile of a woman with let's say 5 or 6 photos and all of them are from 2 foot away with their arm attached... I think one thing and that is this woman has no life, and no friends to take a decent photo of her.    If I'm at all unclear, here is my point.  One facebook shot I can handle.  Why?  Because duh!  People deserve to see what another person looks like up close.  But people also want to know if you are worth being around and if you have something to offer in terms of interest.   Of course, pictures of you skydiving are also a joke.  I mean what are you going to do, put down in your interests that you enjoy skydiving?  Oh yeah, I think you do that every weekend thanks for the photo.  No, what you need to post is a photo of you riding a horse (if indeed enough of your life is relavant to horses in the present) or at a baseball game which may show that you actually do root on a team.  My point is real world photos should NOT be that hard to find and post.    If you are posting facebook photos in a profile, MAN or WOMAN, then my natural response is going to be, NO LIFE.  Next.  Just my own personal perspective.

NOTE: Don't assume I'm using online dating at the time of this post or at the time you read this post. 
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Reads like a great headline right?  Wait until you know the circumstances.  When CNN jumps for joy for a 'father' winning a custody case, you'd think it was something amazing.  A dad should have custody of his children?  Really? 

The insult is that the father had to fight an international fight over something that is really a no brainier.  Hell, the mother ISN'T even alive!  You read it right.  So why should this man have to even fight for custody of his son? 

The real story is that men are STILL considered second class citizens in the reality of parenting by the courts.  Here is the details...  Jersey father is divorced by Brazilian wife.  She absconds to Brazil with child.  Dies.  Five years later he wins custody case to have child returned to states. 

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/06/01/new.jersey.brazil.custody/index.html

As a single full time father of two young boys, I am certain that my children living with me is a good life for them.  Yes, dare I say more so than with their mother.  Why?  The reasons are countless, but consider the simple things such as how often do mothers decide to just pick up a baseball mitt and have a twenty minute catch with their son talking baseball from favorite teams to little league?  Yes, I can cook.  I'm a damn good one.  Yes I sew, do laundry as do my son's.  We work together and we as a family are tight.  The women in my life are nothing less than stunned at how well and good our life is let alone the compliments I receive as a father.  Despite the angst, selfishness and cruelty I've been witness and victim of, I show the utmost respect towards my boys mother.  I've learned that men are able to focus on the big picture where ...   more »

A woman of today strives for independence yet wants to be treated like a princess.  A man is expected to respect a woman's desire to be treated as an equal, yet we are likewise expected to treat a woman like a princess.  You can't be a princess if we are not your prince.  To be a woman's prince a man needs to be treated like one.  It is a conundrum because in modern love women no longer have any desire or need to please a man.  It is now entirely about pleasing a woman and men are deftly aware of this change.  Most importantly, we've accepted it thus leaving the field empty with few princess to go around.   Women see this as too many princesses and not enough princess, when in reality there is a prince for every woman -- they are merely being minimized and adulterated by the politics of modern love.

Women are consumed with what other women think when in fact all they really need to care about is what the one man the intend to love thinks.  After all, you'll spend the rest of your life with him, not with people you hardly know.  A woman fights hard to be recognized for her brains, not her beauty but nature programed us to be attracted physically, you know it (women), we know it (men).  It is why it's called 'animal attraction'.  A woman now fights her instincts to be 'protected' and 'loved'.  She has traded the value of love for those virtues.  Men don't see a woman who can self-sustain as a virtue.  We know the reality is we must then out-earn you to be worthy of your respect.  We must accomplish more than you in order to be worthy.  Women may reject this statement as an insult, but ...    more »

The other me is the guy no one sees. The other me is the guy I refuse to let anyone know.  The other me would not be caught dead thinking like this.  The other me knows more than can ever be let on.  The other me is the one every woman would want to know but is afraid to know.  The other me is just as secure as this one.  The other me knows that at one point both me's will converge.    more »

I'd like to send this song dedication out to someone I've been seeing.  She knows who she is.  This is a song near and dear to my heart as I've seen so many women in my life turning pennies into gold.  I hate to say I'm right when I'm right.  I generally just keep what I know to myself.   It's not like me to take a shot at anyone but frankly sometimes you have to let people know their days are numbered.  Some people have a smug look and are too self-consumed to take heed of what they are told.  So be warned the lyrics to Temporary Beauty are gentle devastation.  "Even though it may be love.."  is a statement sang as a question.  The manner in which it is sung is also quite compelling. Of course you need to understand love to appreciate a song of such as this, even when it's one as unlikely as this one.

Temporary Beauty speaks on many levels.  To the woman that doesn't understand that outer beauty is fleeting and that what you do have won't last, and go even faster if you don't take care of it.  I for one look for beauty on the inside, which if I ever fall in love again will be with a woman that has long lasting beauty on the inside.  Enjoy the tune and lyrics. I'm off to my next date...  (my afterthoughts are below).



You have to do your best to come up to par, from straight off the production line like a car.
Till everything you put on is a put-on, and you don't know who's face you're gazing upon.
Could be anyone you're sending out there tonight, and is it any wonder all of the lights are too bright?
And you need ...   more »

There is nothing like having been a part of anyone's life and looking back knowing you are printed in their history.  People make such a big deal of memories haunting them, how often do we realize that memories are a good thing.  When my brother died, I had one thought in mind.  To remember him.  No one is ever gone, no one is ever dead until you forget them.  Here's to memories.  
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Men and women are different.  Our maker saw to that on many levels.   Is it a great accomplishment for a woman to make a man compromise his values for sex?
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There are four types of types of personalities.  The Driver, The Feeler, The Elitist and Thinker.  Which are you?

The answer? It is not what you think.  It is what others think.  While you may believe you are a feeler, you may be more forceful than you know and others see you as the Driver.  In the end, we are not what we think we are, we are what what others think we are.

Look in the mirror.  Do you recognize someone?
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I believe we are all in a race against time, and we don't realize it until the consequences of time become obvious.  Our 'not now' attitude always costs us.  On an individual level, I think of how the years of a life quietly flick away.  There is no real 'ticking' of time to remind you that the time of your life is eroding, instead it creeps up on you soporifically.   It seems only after we make the wrong choices in life either as a society or in our personal lives that we realize that second chances come at a horrible cost.  To marry the wrong person in your twenties and divorce at 30?, well, you come to realize that you can't give the age of 22 or 25 to anyone else ever again.  The time you regret spending with the wrong person has cost you.  Then there is our society.  We should already be using electric cars or some other form of alternative energy to propel our automobiles.  Instead, the cost of gas has come down and once again the ebb and flow of need verses desire takes it's toll.  The cost of our 'not now' attitude on a whole has resulted in our own economy being rocked.  Yes, the banking industry is also culpable in not looking to the future.  Many bankers unknowingly played the race against time game correctly.  They bled the sacred cow for all they could get and walked away with a bundle of cash when time ran out.

Every one of us has only so many years we can live a certain way during the course of our lives.   You can't play football at the age of 80, let alone 60.   Sex may be enjoyable at 70, but you better have a partner established as ...   more »

If you know me, you know that at this time in my life, I've lost a lot, but for  all I've lost, I've gained mental toughness.

As a single man that was once married for 8 years and never thought he'd be single again -- I have found that on occasion I tell this story to girls, ladies, women I meet and date.  It occurred to me that if I share it with you readers today, perhaps I can offer you some personal strength.  What I'm about to tell you is dead honest.  It really did happen. 

Somewhere in my second year of marriage I realized I was a great husband.  Why?  Because I was so damn proud to be with the woman I loved. Superman had nothing on me and I reminded myself that if I didn't take care of my wife, some other guy would be more than willing.  Why?  Well for starters the woman was drop dead gorgeous.  Secondly she was smart as a whip.   I somehow forgot she was worldly wise to the point she was cold hearted.  But the way I saw it, she was on my team. We were married.  A team.  She was the type of person you loved on your team, but would be disgusted to know if she was your adversary.  You know why, when someone is on the other team you don't need to overlook flaws or make excuses.  You can be truly objective. 

So here I am in love and happy. I'm cooking her breakfast in bed twice a month.  When she wanted to sleep in on Saturday's because she worked all week (never mind I did too), I got up with the kids and made breakfast (hence she got breakfast in bed often). When she was sick with a cold, she didn't have to ask for me to bring in a butler tray with goodies.  I knew to do it.  I loved her. This of course was my wife.  I was a lucky man to have someone I could count on for the rest of my life.  Yes, make fun of me, I was naive.  Sue me.

But then one day she wiped that smile off my face. 

As I mentioned at the start, somewhere around our second year of marriage I realized I was the husband I always knew I wanted to be.  Flowers for her were common.  Once I sent her an $180.00 arrangement of flowers  which required a van to deliver at her work.  Including the vase it stood four feet.  Someone did a remarkable job on it.  I should have taken a picture of it.   But the day I ventured into the flower shop and saw it -- I thought, "My woman deserves this."  I did it as a life experience for her.  I thought she should at least once receive an ostentatious arrangement that just blew her away. 

About a month later the weather fully broke and I took ill with a cold.  Not just a cold but    more »

It's a problem we all live with.  We end up with the wrong people.  I think in America and perhaps the some other parts of the world, people have this problem of 'settling'.  To put it bluntly, settling for second best. 

Women look for prince charming, men look for a damsel in distress.  The fairy tale finish we all journey towards.   Then along the way we realize that it's tougher than we imagined, to find the right person.   And even if you do find the right person, chances are the person that found you may decide they settled for second best.  How do we all fit the right people together?  I can't answer that question. I am but one man with my own journey to travel.

I can say that I see more and more people with broken lives that find themselves with less time in their life to find the right person because along the way they didn't take the journey serious enough.  While I believe in flaunting the imperfection and that perfection is your enemy, there is one thing you can't deny.  Love requires perfection in a mate.  If you are not with the right person, your life comes undone.  From your family and friends to your self-respect.  You can find yourself in a crowd but all alone.  You find yourself with someone you are supposed to care about but instead you silently think to yourself, "I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to be with you."

I want to tell those people, you have what you deserve.  You should never have settled.   But I can't say that.  There are too many of them.  It seems everyone has committed this sin.  From high-school sweethearts to Hollywood power couples.  People don't stay together anymore. They find ...   more »

There is something we all love about surprises that warm our hearts.  We all love an underdog, but better yet we love to see the common man's dreams come true. In this case, a woman.

I implore you to follow this YouTube Link and experience the story of Susan Boyle as it unfolds. 

"No one is laughing now." 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY


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Welcome to my niche. Another Lousy Day In Paradise is my own little writing block aside from the publications, the stories and my everyday life.  It's a place where I could attack the world but choose not to.  Locally, here in Delaware I live a humble life with my two sons Declan and Dalton.  I find myself constantly interrupted by them and reminding myself that when I was a boy, I never wanted my parents to look over their shoulder and say, "That's nice." Instead I wanted to know I was important to my parents.  So despite my interest in being my own person, I'm ultimately subservient to my deep desire to never let my children down.  I write many stories and articles that are brought about because of the life I live for my boys.  And yes, when my boys interrupt me, I turn to them and give them my attention.

I of course write of the things I experience which do not include the boys.  After all, I am a person with his own hopes and dreams. I've watched kids of my youth fail in their adult lives.  I've seen high-school sweethearts change into women I hardly know. I've seen the road to my old high school turn from a journey of a single stop sign to one interrupted by 6 stop-lights. I've watched my family ebb and flow.   I've buried my older brother, never thinking it possible that such a Herculean spirit would pass before me.  Standing over his grave I saw every instance of our lives pass before me.  I've known the joy of life long best friends.  I've watched my own parents grow into old age as they have been married well over ...    more »

I'm a conservative.  I'm amazed how the world thinks of anyone that gives a damn about what they put in their body is a liberal.  Granted, it cost money to be safe, it cost money to make our food safe.  What blows me away is the same people controlling our food supply are eating it too!  How do we penetrate this insanity and get on track.  It is when we have all this talk of  the ever so sexy media story Global Warming  that makes it impossible to have independent discussions such as how we as a country and world community can slow down our fast growth mentality enough to consider the implications of our behavior. By the way, does anyone remember global cooling? This was big in the 1970's, even TIME Magazine was behind this theory.   I'm not oversimplifying.  I'm illustrating a point. Use your brain.  No one is really looking out for you, but you.

We never care until it affects us.  OK, if that is true, then see Food, Inc this summer when it comes out.  And so you keep it in mind... visit the website http://www.takepart.com/foodinc/ Which is rich in information on how you can make a difference.  Let's hope you give a shit.  If not about yourself, about your children. While I'm not of the school that 'everything is dangerous', I do believe that ...    more »

I've been taking some heat since this last week when I accidentally posted a dairy entry public for a few hours.

The question is was I ever in love if I'm so broken now?  After all, if I was played for a fool and used in my marriage, then what right did I have being in love?  Perception is everything, reality is nothing, hence the paradox turns on itself.  Perception becomes your reality. 

Was it ever real?  It was real for me. And that is why I'm broken. I've spent a lot of time living with that reality.  Living with knowing that I was in love with a phantom, something not real is a hard pill to swallow.  I spend time beating myself up over not seeing the truth when it was right before my eyes. The people around me may see a fool.  And I'd laugh at me too.  But it was real for me.

Now I spend a lot of time living a much smarter life.  Every woman I cross paths with is examined deeply.  And in time, I find the truth.  I no longer jump into any affair with cloudy eyes.  Don't get me wrong, I can speak of love and romance, but my heart no longer guides my head.  It can take days, weeks or months, but I wait now.  My instinct dials me in the right direction, then in time the answer shows itself.  I learn why she is divorced, I learn why she's still single at 29, I learn why she moved, I learn that she isn't really a vet tech, or I learn why she says trust is soooo important (because she herself cheats, lol), ...I learn what my instinct usually warns me of.  If nothing else I learned a great and valuable lesson ...   more »

SEXUAL DESIRE IS LEVERAGE

Men are what they are. We desire women sexually.  While some men don't have the same level of desire for a woman as other men do, our genetic make-up has that underlying desire to procreate.  What you as a woman are firmly aware of is that once that need is met, we can't be controlled by you. 

This is one reason why women hold out on sex with men for a period of time.  You can extract more from us.  But I advise in the confines of a relationship, you should not want to hold out; not entirely.  You need to strike a balance.  And frankly if you have found a good man or mate, you should both want to participate in the act on balance.

IS IT ALL ABOUT SEX WITH MEN?

OK you are saying "Why does it have to be all about sex with men?"  The good news is that it's not.  It really isn't all about sex.  The fact is--sex is what?...2% of a relationship in terms of the time you spend together?  It makes up a small part of the time we spend together but that 2% is a powerful and intensely packed 2%.  Get it? I hope so, because if you can't understand this, you'll just be angry and think less of men when all you really need to do is understand us.  By now you are most likely understanding our maker designed us to desire women initially from a physical point of view.  Conversely our maker made women to desire men overall from ...    more »

Dating or meeting someone new can be more than an adventure.  It can be something you've never done or done so long ago that you really have lost touch with the art of meeting people. 

As a successful dater (I know it sounds like I'm bragging - I'm not), I'd like to share with women some important tips to meeting a man.  Then again, maybe meeting him is not the problem, it's getting past that crucial first few minutes and letting him know you are interested. After all its the first 2 to 4 minutes people decide if there is attraction between them. 

THOSE FIRST FEW MINUTES

Maybe you've gotten past initial attraction and you've come to sending out the right signs of what kind of relationship you desire.  Friends with benefits?  Short term extracurricular activities, a boyfriend or husband?  Here is what I know and perhaps you know too but you were unsure of with one hundred percent assurance.  Now you can be confident in these truths.

Let's start with flirting.  Should you really call it flirting?  It's desire.  And hiding your desire is a mistake. No I'm not saying come off desperate.  I'm saying if you like him, then talk to him.  A man should likewise know that if you are not engaged in talking to him, he should move on, but that's another advice article for men so I'm not going to dive into that subject matter any deeper than this ...It means for smart men with heads on their shoulders, they will know that if you allow a conversation to wane, they'll read that as a sign of "I don't want to embarrass myself, I need to turn and get back to the guys".   Now he's walked away and you have little chance of returning to a meaningful conversation let alone hook-up.  So yes, the first thing is as basic as breathing, talk to him. 

WE ARE ALL SHALLOW

Next, is understand that men and women are ...    more »

You know sometimes you run into a rude person.  They say mean things to you and they could be true, they could be made up, but the intent is the same either way; they want to hurt you with words. I've often said, "Just because it is true, doesn't mean you should say it."  Sure thing, the truth hurts.  And I can say one thing for certain, I've saved a lot of people from a lot of pain. <grin>

In my short life I've learned the art of biting my tongue.  Sometimes it's just eating crow.  Sometimes it's a matter of biding my time.  Sometimes it is a matter of just archiving the info and knowing who your enemies are. 

But in every case its been to my advantage to just keep my trap shut.  "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" is one thought that comes to mind. "Your mouth is your enemy" is another.  There are times when I'm in arguments; one sided arguments.  They are giving me a piece of their mind and I look like a coward for simply staying on defense.  I know it is at those times if I attack with my own words, I'm tipping my hand. 

Then there are times you are involved in a disagreement that may be no more than a misunderstanding.  Losing your cool and saying anything you would regret later just creates a divide.

Of course there are also the situations that are more complex.  Some people you think are out to hurt you are really out to help you.  This of course means that diametrically some people you think are out to help you are really out to hurt you.  It's important to say little and piece it all together.

At times we encounter people in organizations or circles where we find people that don't like us.  When such a person confronts me, the last thing to do is let them know anything.  I mean ANYTHING.  I let these people run their mouth and chronicle it all in my mind.  This is a hard learned art form.  Let's face it we are human and it is easy to get into a verbal gunfight.

I could have responded in like manner and said things that were true, and hurtful.  I can be one of the most aggravating smart asses I know.  I know because I respond to some things I read or have said to me, in my mind and while my internal responses are true and factual they would hurt feelings if I said them alloud.   I’m not into that.  Sure, push me and I can get rude.  So while I’m as human as the next person, I understand what character is.   Just know that sooner or later I will respond to attacks and the person on the recieving end will not like the words I choose as they will be as embarrassing as they are truthful.

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What do you get when you lie to people then condemn them for being gullible enough to believe you? Exposed. In what took days to evolve completely, Jon Stewart delivered the coup d’état when Jim Cramer visited the Daily Show.

This was not a fight.  This was an educated and mature discussion with some mature language in which Jon Stewart stood up for every American  and shows Networks such as CNBC are more interested in reporting instead of investigative reporting.



Didn't you wonder how the housing market could go on forever instead of bubbling like the Internet and other bubbles?  We all saw this coming.  We are NOT in a recession.  We are in a depression.  call it mild, call it severe, I don't care what adjective you use to describe it, but we are in a depression.  We have paid the price for allowing so many people in power destroy the fabric of our nation.  From businesses, politicians and here in this example ...the media.



We are being lied to everyday people.  It is up to you to use your head and not just drink the cool-aid without asking what's in it. 

What is your 401k or long term stock worth now?  Is it your fault?  For the common American investor, the answer is "Hell no!" Yet you now have not only lost your investment, you my have lost your job, home and more.

I am NO fan of comedy central's Daily Show. I think it is agenda based in many areas and like other media outlets that are unbalanced, I can only take so much BS before I tune out.  But to see Jon Stewart approach this point without malice and good intent was a reminder that somehow, some way good journalism (from a comedy network of all things) does exist. 

I mean think about it.  Do you...    more »

Look, a blog is no more than a personal web site.  It is autonomy.  I chose to name my blog my name so no one else would.  I could have named my blog a number of cool short names.  But personally I knew my personal name was more valuable.  I refuse to let anyone else define me.

Enter MySpace, then Facebook, Twitter, Plaxo, Tumblr, even Linked In (which I think has relevance in the business world).  They all consume each other.  They via for your attention and distract you from the other.  Eventually one makes the other irrelevant and everyone jumps ship to the next fad.

Worse yet all these social networking sites... as much as they let you express yourself, they don't allow you to have have own true identity.  You are in essence an extension of MySpace or Twitter or whatever is hip this month.

But your own site, a blog --which is short for Web Log offers you autonomy.  Long term, so long that when the MySpace's and Facebooks of the world are gone, your blog or my case, my blog will still be around.  If I want it to. 

OK... gotta go.  I need to go twitter my girlfriend to stop Plaxo'ing my best friend so my boss doesn't find it on Linked In.  LOL

See you all at MeetUp.com 
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I penned a poem once where I struggled with the loss of love.  I wrote to her, "I've separated myself from you without separating my own heart".   We give our hearts to the people we enter into a relationship with.  It is as if your heart never really belongs to you.  It's a hard pill to swallow.  When we lose a relationship, our heart is still in the past, belonging to someone that does not deserve it;  they certainly do not want it. It is as if we must find someone new to give it to. 

I often wonder if love is like a limited energy resource. There is only so much of it to give and if you don't nurture it, one day it dies; never to be given again.
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Honest people tell the truth even when they don't like the probable consequences.  That's what honesty means.  That's how trust is earned. Doing the right thing is not always a popular thing.  Honest people are never looking for points in either direction.  Honest people owe nothing to no one except to their own self.
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It's a question many people have raised since the Phantom Menace and the appearance of Jar Jar Binks.  Does the the New Star Wars suck?  A new documentary asks that very question.

Yes, an entire contingent of dedicated fans and critics have assembled to put George Lucas on trial in "The People Vs George Lucas". 

Now when I first saw this, I thought, "My God do we have to discuss Jar Jar Binks again."  I mean in my opinion the movies are done.  It is what it is.  All we can do now is accept the story for what it is.  And really people... these movies were not made for 20 year olds, or 40 year olds.  They were made for kids.  That is the funny thing about all this.  We grew up loving Star Wars but we lost sight of why.  We were kids and it was never that hard to accept the world of Star Wars when you are a young boy or girl.



But... hey.  As a grown, up I had to notice the flaws.  If you pushed me for my opinion.  I have some. 

For instance, how about developing characters?  Darth Maul?.. offers nothing.  He shows up; looks angry and menacing, fights and dies.  What is with that?  I felt no real reason to fear this character, no appreciation for why he used a double-sided light-saber or any connection with him as a truly villianous character. 

Then my big problem that held the remaining two movies back...  Hayden Christensen can't act.  The whining he did as a petulant Anakin Skywalker makes me want to fast forward any time he goes into that bit during the films.  I prayed Lucas would force him into some sorty of heavy duty acting clinic after Episode One.  ...   more »

I think there is a time to love.  And I -- where as at one point in my life I believed that love was eternal, I've learned it is for some but not for everyone.  And that is not a bad thing.

Yeah, here I go again finding the good in something so many expect to be bad.  Don't take a highbrow look at my viewpoint just yet.  Allow me to persuade you.

First off  you must subscribe to this one belief before anything.  Before you love anyone, you must learn to love yourself.  What does that mean? Find happiness in your life.  Be content with your life.  Make it a life worth living.  Have your own interests and pursue them, not for anyone else but yourself.  Be a baseball player, a musician, a nurse, a police officer or cook. It appears younger people struggle with love more than mature people that learn life is so much more than investing yours in one other person.  We should all be so luck to find our calling in life early and have a chance to pursue it.   Even if you don't have a notable career, have interests and hobbies.  From forming a book club or athletic club to breeding animals or learning horseback riding.  Find a niche' for yourself.  Be somebody... for you.

And then, you'll find that the somebody you created for you, is somebody worth loving by someone else. 

The stage is set.  Or should I say the stage is now set for love.  What is love?  Definitions abound.  Some components are desire, understanding, forgiveness and of course dopamine. <smile>  But let's not break down love. We all have our own point-of-view and opinion.  Many of us want it; to different degrees depending on what type of personality you are: Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic or Phlegmatic.  Let's not go there either. That's another article...

Here is a personal experience.  I was married.    more »

What is it like being a single parent?  It's not that hard.  It's never been hard for me.  I put being a parent first before all things. When I got married years ago, my wife knew one thing above all others.  If she made me choose between her and my son, there was no second guessing.  Perhaps this is the downside of being a single parent.  You and everyone around you knows where your top priority lies.  

I'm a single full time father of two. This is an honor.  And every parent should appreciate the smallest of moments they have with their children.  I had to fight in court for the right to be my sons' father.  What does that mean to you?  It means that in my life, I had to fight in court just to be able to wake up in the morning and cook my children breakfast, or watch them brush their teeth at night.

If you are a parent and you have children and have not been in court to earn this privilege, I can say to you now.  I bet you never thought of how precious it is just to see them brush their teeth.  For me when my two sons argue and fight, I get annoyed.  But I'm also happy for them.  Happy they have that chance to needle each other.  So many parents take their children for granted. 

Then take parents that have children and don't even want them.  This tears me up.  How these mothers and fathers can off their kids because they want to be single goes against all that is right with humanity.  I get very upset over these news pieces.  This is a subject so hard for me to discuss, that I won't.  I think of my own children and ...   more »