Do you have any secrets?   We all have them.  Imagine things about yourself that no one should know.  Wow... that is a subject that should hit home with every one of you today.

And it is true isn't it?  Think of the one thing you wouldn't want anyone to know?  It could be even more than one thing.  

Now imagine that gets out to someone you hate!  Imagine they know those secrets.   What would happen in your life if your worst secrets got out to the wrong people? 

Life is like that.  It's always the last people in the world you'd want knowing your secrets that end up with them.  Life is so ironic.   There is an old saying... keep your friends close and your enemies closer.   I've learned that first hand in my life I'll tell ya! LOL.

I recall a couple years ago a guy I knew wanted me to go do something somewhere that if I were single, I suppose would draw a laugh from buddies over a poker game, but at the time I was separated and knew that should I do anything I wouldn't be proud of in the midst of anyone I knew... It could come back to haunt me.   So as badly as I thought I deserved to cut loose, I kept my wits about me and made the rational decision to understand... "this friend could be my enemy tomorrow, and would I want him to know any dark secret of mine?"  The answer was "No way!"  I'm happy to say for all my desires and needs unfulfilled in my life... The secrets I'm not proud of... my adversaries in life already know. LOL 

While me on the other hand.  I've carried some secrets for a long time and will continue to do so until ...   more »

What is love?  This question can be asked so many ways about extraordinary lives. 

Today I want to focus on the freedom of love.  I'll keep it short.  For real love to exist, you must be able to allow the person you love to be free.  

The old saying, "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, they are yours forever, but if they don't they were never yours" is just part of my point. 

There is no control, or jealousy.   Why?  Because if you love someone you don't just set them free before they commit to you... you set them free during that commitment.  When I was married, I never felt an ounce of concern for where my wife was, and hardly any concern for whom she was with.   While love also means you have the self esteem to exist outside your wife or husband... the act of love has this important component.  The ability to allow the person you love to be free without constraint.   

It's a paradox really.  When you love someone you commit; yet you are free.  Both of you are free.   It's like an invisible link between you.  If you really love someone and they love you, there just isn't any worry about losing them.   While not every love last forever, there is no doubt when you are in love, you should feel this way.  Be lucky in love my friends.

Yeah, I know that really freaked you out and it got your attention, so let me explain. 

Once a month a woman has a menstruation.  While there are some amazing insights regarding a woman's body and her menstrual cycle, such as when she is born she has somewhere shy of half a million eggs stored in her ovaries...  this little article is not about those fascinating facts.  But there is one that I think has always made me think.  That is when a woman has her menstruation once a month she  becomes hormonal and while that is great for guys... again... this article is not about that either.  I bet I really got your attention going at this point don't I?  <smiling to myself with satisfaction> Well don't get too excited.  I just have this theory...

Once a month a woman has a period; menstruation. For you insightful men, during or around this time many women become harder workers and they don't seem to tire. It could happen just before, during or just after their menstruation. They just go and go and go. Not all women, but plenty I've come to know over the years. And don't go reading between the lines so hard here. I could be more wrong than right on this one.. it's JUST A THEORY

Now if you are willing to accept what I'm surmising here or if you are just willing to suspend disbelief for the duration of this article we have established that once a month a woman has an energy spike.  Now for my theory.

If a woman has two or three days a month where something hormonal comes over her and we know why... she is menstruating...  why then do I once a month get really active for a couple days.  I mean, you could ask me to paint the house and I could.  I clean the carpets... ...   more »

What a horrible custom!  Let's stop this horror! 

Once a year most large offices where folks don't hardly know each other or know enough to resent each other participate in a  Chinese Pollyanna.

Before I blast this horrible horrible thing rightously, here are the details if you have never been a part of one of these tortourous affairs.

Here is how it works:

1. Participants contribute a gift.  Ideally you bring something anyone would enjoy. You all gather for the exchange.

2. Prepare slips of paper equal to the number of gifts with clearly written numbers.  Write out six and nine as 6 and 9 look the same on a scratch paper. 1 from 7. Everyone draws a number.

3. Whoever draws number one goes first.  They pick from the pile of wrapped gifts. Heaven forbid you really like your gift.

4. Whoever drew number two goes next. But... they also get the option of "stealing" a gift opened by any predecessor in this case, it is the only person that opened a gift.  In short... person number one.  The person whom gift had theirs stolen, now opens yet another gift in hopes that no one else will take their gift.  

5. The person who drew number three is our next victim. They pick a gift, pray they don't like it (joke) and wait for the next person to victimize them by taking their gift. . If all goes well, they avoid you and pick an opened gift someone else is in love with.

Here are the other details in case you actually want to torture yourself at Christmas.

1. This party's gift theme is X.
2. The gift theme also follows a price range.
3. The gift should be something someone would actually want or use. It should be in new or good condition. However gag ...   more »

I'd like to examine the word "shallow" today.  Why is not so important. Let's just say I get a lot of e-mail about a lot of subject matter.  Some of which I find disturbing, some of which I find great for writing material.   I'd rather just discuss the word and how shallow behavior or shallow people affect us in our daily lives.

If you look up the word shallow using sites like Wikipedia you'll find that shallow is a tough word.  It reaches beyond genders; it can exist in young or old.  Although you would expect younger people to grow out of  being shallow.  Yet if you think about it, perhaps it is the people that have been around the world that become shallow. 

You've seen me write a lot about people lacking a moral compass.  A shallow person may have that trait but what shallow ultimately is in a person that knowingly disregards the need for emotional depth and intellect.   A person that doesn't have these qualities without purposely disregarding it may be considered dim or mentally retarded.  There are other words you can use, but the point is the person ultimately is not conscious of their behavior.

In short a shallow person is not merely unconcerned what others may think of them, a shallow person aims to not care.   Again there is an element of lacking an moral foundation in that person, but it is conjoined with the lack of depth that makes a person shallow.

If you think about it a person lacking a moral compass as I've discussed in past articles is someone that really can care less what you think and is intellectually on par with you.  I suppose they don't have to be.  There are rapist and killers and thieves out there that ...   more »

OK, the question has to have crossed your mind... You are divorced.  You are a father.  How can you possibly be relevant?

Here is the lowdown...  I'm a great friend.  Good cook (and getting better), I'm handy with a hammer, I'm tech heavy and even play paintball.  I look at life through my own unique prism that for the most part is always positive.   Out on a date, shopping for groceries... with the boys (my kids) I have a habit of seeing things in a way that keeps it simple.  I poke fun at life and keep my kids and everyone around me on their toes.  You can count on me to be considerate of everyone, not just the people I'm with, but with everyone I come in contact with.  I'm even calm under pressure.  Well, I may not be exactly calm as I'm an idealist and I'd prefer that the world wasn't so tilted askew!  LOL... But I'm learning to be a compromisationalist!  When some dumb ass demands something ridiculous or I'm ignored... I look at the big picture and if I have to play along with ding-dongs... I go with the flow.   Most importantly I follow the advice of my father... "Son. Sometimes you gotta pick your battles."  And that I do. 

While I hate political correctness and can laugh at jokes about religion, status, nationality or ethnicity, I do not hold prejudices.  I simply think we should all be able to laugh at ourselves. 

While I enjoy being right quite often, I relish the moments I can learn from my mistakes and take a new path from where I may have once been wrong.  I'm always open to objectional viewpoints.

In my life I was a kid that took a lot of shit from other kids and spent a good ...   more »

If you are like me, you would never think some things could change. When you were a child did you see the world around you and really... never expect it to change?   No matter who we are we all look back and think, "I never expected the world to change." Not like it has.

I recall playing in the creek... alone.  Sometimes with friends, or just plain exploring the woods for hours behind my home. I recall walking two miles to the shopping center with friends at the age of ten.  I remember my parents leaving me and  second grade date at the movie theater to see Robin Hood.   I remember Christmas.  I remember how the family would sit at the television for Christmas Specials and that familiar saying that really sparked excitement in me... "The regularly scheduled program has been cancelled tonight so that we may bring you the following special presentation."  I recall my mother baking cookies, it seemed like an endless supply too.  In short, the world and Christmas seemed so much more innocent.

Like everything else in our world, Christmas has changed.   Sure there are movies that offer up what are supposed to be typical families in New England settings with snow on the ground and fires lit in the fire place all the time.   But even those movies are now filled with not just quirky flawed Characters but what at one time would have been thought impossible, outrageous people.  Intolerable.   Even the stories are sad.  Last year a movie about scores of children from divorced families being trapped in an airport was a comedy.  Life wasn't always this way.

As I grew up I saw Christmas change.    I recall when the biggest problem anyone had with Christmas was the message, "Remember folks, Christ is the ...   more »

Let's all give the boot to Boot Road.   If there is one road that over all my years on this planet that has been more annoying, it is Boot Road in West Chester PA.  In theory Boot Road connects West Chester to Downingtown.  But for me, it connects nothing.  You can't just get on Boot Road without having to almost immediately get off. Nor can you drive around West Chester without crossing the damn thing.  It's a stupid name for a stupid road. 

I say we ban the road.  It's useless.  Just doze it over and plant trees.  Nobody will miss it.  Google Boot Road and you can't even find out how the damn thing got its name.  The thing just meanders around but who actually needs to get on Boot Road to go anywhere?  Name one person that gets on it go drive to work or drive to the store.  It's good for this.. "OK to drive to my house you turn left here, turn left there and you cross Boot Road."  But who ever says, "Get off 202 onto Boot Road..." ? 

So please good people of West Chester, do your self a favor and ban Boot Road.  You won't miss it.  I promise.

What do you say to a coward?   To understand where I a coming from let’s define the word coward. Look it up on the Internet and you’ll find it succinctly put: One who shows ignoble fear in the face of danger.  For me in short it’s someone that doesn’t have the backbone to face up to anything that can jeopardize what they have.   Yeah, a coward is someone that isn’t willing to fight for what they have.  Oh... they may be sly and calculating, but when exposed to face what challenges them do they face what threatens them?  No.  A coward is ignoble in that moment.

Do you know any cowards?  I do. :)

Sometimes we real men want to speak our mind to a coward.  But how can you?  They run.  They hide.  A coward is so less of a man. 

I lead a VERY busy life now.  I mean that.  But as I race through my day I do scan news etc... I'm not living in a vacuum.   So today I hit the Drudge Report and see bit about Chris Matthews and John Stewart. As I watch it on YouTube I see a few things I really really find to have been right on the money in my own life.  Theory's on how life should be lived.

The fact is life is not to be lived mechanically, using people to get where you want or get what you want.  Not if you want happiness.

Chris Matthews wrote a book about living life like a politician does and with that strategy, you'll get ahead. Chris espouses that life is a campaign.  John Stewart calls him on the carpet for this way of looking at life, and moreover living that kind of life.  While Chris makes one great point that listening to women will get them to like you, as opposed to bragging and drinking beer.  Outside of that, he makes one point that I lived over and over and over again.   The book preaches the political move of attacking someone else before they attack you.  Boy did I live that.  And yep, I resent it. So when John Stewart calls the book artifice... I see his point as I've lived out his point.

Life is a Campaign, you campaign to get a job, you campaign to get the girl of your dreams... but if you campaign to get that girl and there is not substance to your life... will you keep her? 

John Stewart calls the book artifice.  I agree.  Campaigning for love, a job or the things you want mean nothing if you have no substance. 

To me it works like ...   more »

It takes a strong woman to be needy

You'd think John Gottman, Ph.D., who founded the Gottman Institute (otherwise known as the Love Lab) with his wife, Julie, wouldn't make dumb mistakes in his own relationship.

But he always remembers the time he harangued his busy wife for neglecting him: "I said, 'You're so emotionally unavailable; everyone else comes first; what is wrong with you?' And I found when I said that, she didn't want to spend time with me." He laughs. "So I learned from the couples we studied to say, 'You know, I'm getting that lonely feeling again. I just need more of you in my day.'" And it worked.

The trick was employing what Gottman calls a soft start-up, which involves telling your partner "what you need and giving them a way to succeed."

His team had found that even in happy relationships, partners reciprocate anger with anger, so the easiest way to de-escalate a conflict was not to escalate it in the first place.

For instance, instead of saying, "I'm sick to death of cooking dinner, you lazy slob," Gottman suggests telling your spouse, "You know, I'm sick of my own cooking. I think we need to go out to dinner, or have you take charge of dinner for a while."

Many Love Lab participants find it difficult to make themselves that vulnerable. "A lot of people feel shame about having a need," he says. "Our culture tells us that to be needy is to be weak, but it's really a tremendous strength to know what you need and to be able to ask for it."

Beginning a conversation with what you need, rather than the more aggressive "You never ... " or "You idiot," is a way to complain that's easier for your partner to ...   more »

Great days seem like moments of solace in a lifetime of pressures, duties and work.  They are brief respites from the hardships in life.  While 2007 has been a rollercoaster on the tracks of life, it has been a magical year for me with amazing moments, great change and now, one of the greatest days in my life, July 11, 2007. 

Yes, yesterday was on of the top ten days in my life.  Well, maybe not in the top ten, but maybe so.  And while I don't want to say what happened which was so special, because in many cases in life, on man's fortune is another man's loss, I don't want to be hurtful.  So, sadly I won't tell you dear reader just exactly what made it so special. 

Rather, I will say that in life there moments and instances that hang with you for a long time, or lifetime.  Some of mine that stick out are both happy and sad. 

One of my greatest days was the day I first held my son in my arms.  Declan was over a month old and at that moment every moment prior to that moment rushed up on me.  I was overwhelmed by the epiphany which occurred at that moment.   I understood my purpose from that moment forward.  To be the best father to my son.  I saw me teaching him to avoid all the mistakes I made in school, or with other kids.  I saw us playing baseball one day.  I saw us growing together and I saw me smiling at him always.   Now he is ten years old and when I walk into his bedroom in the mornings to wake him, I see how long his legs ...   more »

There is a saying; you can only kid yourself for so long. I have to reflect on that today.

And I should say this straight first... I am not commenting on myself.  No, I’m thinking of someone else when I think of this saying.

I think in terms of someone wanting something that is not the way they want it to be, to be something else.  They want in a affect a lie they are telling them self to be true,  and they want that lie to be true for them so badly that they of course believe in their own lie.

That lie becomes a foundation for more lies.  And eventually a narcissistic person emerges for all to see.  Everyone sees a delusional person.  But the person telling this lie... they’ve got them self convinced everyone else is on board with their lie.  They falsely assume everyone is buying into their lie.  But it is indeed a solo effort.

At first people try to talk sense into this person.  Eventually, and frankly, people don’t want to hear it anymore and tune the liar out.  People around the liar go on as if they believe you but they don’t.  They just don’t want the drama.   They know the truth and they know the only way for them to maintain the truth is simply ignore your lies.

But when does it end?  When does it catch up with you?   When do you finally “get it.”  When do you finally understand that it is you that needs to look in the mirror, not everyone else? 

This is a burning question that every liar must eventually come to terms with....   more »

I have a customer named Jessica Forde.  She is a French actress.  Her site is http://www.jessicaforde.com.  Some how over the years as I have with many customers we became friends.  Yesterday we were catching up as I helped her with a customer service issue. We talk about simple things, and I keep her abreast of my family.  Strange enough she and I talked last year and I can't help but think she saw my divorce coming.  Go figure. She lives in Paris and we got to talking about my opinions on France, the French people and the culture. 

If you know me, you may know that I know little of France outside of what my father told me when I was a young boy.  He traveled to France a few times and had a lot to share.  What little else I know of the country I know from pop culture, news and world politics.   I also had one story my ex told me of from a trip I paid for her to take with a girlfriend of hers.  She told me that when they spoke English the Parisians where rude to them, but when they spoke Russian, they were treated in a more dignified manner and got better service. 

I bounced this story off of Jessica and the stories my father told me.   In the end she taught me a whole lot and I must say my opinion of the French has been swayed a good bit.  Before this conversation my interest has been in visiting the south of France through the French Alps from northern Italy.  I've wanted to visit many smaller towns outside of Paris.  I even wanted to visit Paris itself for the museums and sights, but thought why bother if I'm going ...   more »

This is an open note to all my friends, girlfriends family you name it... :)

I am not skinny.  Stop using that word around me please. Do I call you all fat?  Yes I get the "that's not a negative Lars." comments, but I don't buy it.  You wouldn't say it if you didn't really mean, "Put on some weight".  

Not cool.  I'm working out like crazy and you all know it.  I'm rock hard and that seems to mean nothing.  I'm not skin and bones, I'm athletic.  I'm fit.  But you can't use those words can you?   What is the problem here?  Is everyone else just so pre-occupied with their own weight that they feel inferior to me or something?  What gives?  I got to the point I stopped and asked total strangers or people that knew me only slightly like my bank teller if I was skinny, her response, "You look better than people in magazines." 

So what is the problem here?  Look folks, if you are afraid to say something else just say it.   It's like you all got together behind my back and said..."Let's all call Lars 'skinny' this week."   When one person said it, I discounted it.  When two people said it I was thinking about it.  Now I'm hearing it more and more.  I eat right.  I eat healthy, I may do too much running and rollerblading and working out right now, but that won't last forever.  Give me a break would ya?  My arms and shoulders will get bigger and then what will every one complain about? 

Something is really weird here and it ain't me.  Not now anyhow.  Please lay off with the "skinny" word.  It wore me thin (yep, pun intended).

Lars

Have you been to the beach lately?   It seems to be getting harder and harder to find a secluded place you can enjoy on your own.  From the time I was a teenager with my buddies through my twenties and thirties I've seen the Delaware beaches become harder to access with less friendliness. 

Mind you I never liked our beaches, the water is dark, the water is cold and the surf is neither rough or tame; it has no character other than bland.    But these beaches are all I've got in driving range and for that I covet what little I got.   The beach towns get wider, the open space gets crowded out and before you know it, you have to walk a heck of a long way to a public space.  I can't say it's friendly to couples or families.   It's certainly no fun for groups unless you plan it out.  It comes down to having a beach home and fortunately I have a couple friends with that situation.  A buddy of mine working at a radio station and an old girlfriend that has been a friend for years... but that's me. What about so many other people stuck with a two hour drive and hoping a day trip will be fun?

Many times when I make a complaint I offer an answer.  Today I just have a complaint.  Bummer for us all. 

Today is a tough day to be a Philly's fan.  Once again they are under 500.  They will enter June ... June!  Under 500.

But are we not used to this nonsense?  Year after year, season after season, what it means to be a Philadelphia Phillies fan is that you must suffer mediocrity.  I am so sick of hearing of the long suffering of the Boston Red Sox fans.  Give me a break.  Your team didn't suck for 20 years.  Sure you suffered tough breaks but at least your team was relevant.

The Phillies? We get mediocrity from top to bottom.  The owners.... Look at the team owners and management they put in place.  It's like a revolving door of mirrors.  We as fans never get a gung-ho "let's win" type owner.  We get people that treat the franchise like an episode of "Barney and Friends", you know the big purple dinosaur that kids learn lessons from of how to all get along nice. 

Don't get me wrong, while I love the philosophy of the current teams "stick together" mentality that has to be balanced.  But this is only the tip of the iceberg. 

And while I think a change is in the air with the Phillies I think the long suffering of the Philly fan will go on.  For instance, Chase Utley and Ryan Howard brought the grit and heart to the team it has not had for some time.  But owners and managers are still bent on just trying is good enough.

Beyond all this, I reflect on my youth watching Mike Schmidt, Greg Luzinski, Gary Maddox, Larry Bowa, Steve Carlton, Tug McGraw and so many others that you saw love for the game and desire in.  And although it was ...   more »

I take a lot of pictures.  I think life is short and after my first son was born, I really got just how short life is.  His first year flew by so fast and it seemed like no time his birthday arrived.  I took some pictures but I took more video.  I video taped him so much up through the age of five it was nuts. :)  I stayed away from photos for the most part as I felt the video had more memory to it than photos. 

In any event, I saved as many memories as I could.  Harshly, an ex stole all the family videos from our home and I know I'll never see them again.  I've made issues of it in court but the system doesn't really have any means to helping me so she got away with it.  That's a whole other story but in some ways it puts meaning to my story here.

Your mind should be a camera.  We all have to take snapshots of moments in our lives.  Some just happen, others you have to tell yourself to remember.   It is why I say "these are the salad days."  If you've read my article about "the salad days" it is a line from Shakespeare which means you are waxing nostalgic.    For me to say, these are the salad days means to me you have to appreciate something special while it is happening.  

The memories you make in life are locked in your own mind.  The people you knew, the places you've gone, and the experiences you'll never have again... those memories you make are most valuable to you.  No one else can understand or appreciate them.  They can try and they can empathize but in your heart you know that the greatest value ...   more »

Writers NOTE: I wrote this article when I used Match.com.  I'm done so I think I'm safe to give this advice. I've had this article pending the right time to publish it and now would be that time.

Ok, online dating sucks. It does and it doesn't.  Yes you get to meet a lot of new people.  But you also get limited attention, knee jerk decisions and it is ultimately impersonal.  You have no chance of having someone become attracted to you when they have a check list of things that filter you out of being eligible.  Aside from that it's great. LOL
Having said all this, allow me to offer up some help to the women from a man's perspective.  I will be harsh; this will help you to know the truth. 

The Kid Hypocrisy
First up, don't say you love your kids more than anything only to later state that you love babysitters or that you are happiest when your children go to bed.  If you don't see yourself as a hypocrite, a man will. You may be able to fool yourself but a man sees you for what you are.  Sure man are gullible and willing to look past flaws, but don't assume we are dumb asses just because we let these things slide.

The I’m independent but I need a man Hypocrisy
Nine out of ten profiles I read assert independence.  Yes of course you are independent and strong.  That is why you are divorced and looking for another man.  Ladies, I hate to break it to you but in just one month of online dating (I have not dated anyone yet, I’ve only e-mailed and talked on the phone) I’ve talked to A LOT of women.  All but one said they missed having someone to come home to.   All expressed that regret and sadness that they didn’t have someone at the end of the day to confide in.  Just like Diane Lane in the movie Must Love Dogs they talk about eating dinner over the sink if they don’t have kids.   Ladies, I’m not trying to be uncaring.  I am compassionate.  So please don’t think I have it in for you.  I mean this earnestly.  You can’t win a man over by being too tough for love.  You can’t.  You know something ladies, you may in fact be that strong.  You man indeed be independent and capable of handling life’s adversities, but to win a mans heart, you have to master the art of being feminine.   This means fake it if you don’t feel it.  Fake it until you do feel it.  Don’t tell a man you are independent.  We already know you are, that is why you are single.   If you were not independent, you’d be spoken for.   Throw that word out of your vocabulary while dating or courting.  Men don’t want to hear it.  In fact when I see it in a profile I really think hard before making contact.  I don’t need to break through defenses.  I want someone ready to come to the table as an equal.  What is worse here is that for each woman that had independent down in a profile was ultimately the most bitter about not finding romance.  Ladies, you can’t have this one both ways.  Oh, you can but you will never taste love at its sweetest. 

I'd like to send a message to the ding-dong's still playing EA Sports Madden on play stations.

I've learned you idiots are still harassing each other and still losing relationships with your wives, girlfriends and what have-you.  There is some disinformation going around too and frankly under normal circumstances I'd let you chase your tail but today I'm in a fighting mood.

I'm about tired of being pissed on and having my paraded ruined will I'm minding my on god damn business.  So here is what you need to know. 

Yes I pulled the plug on MaddenOnline.us.  The site didn't fail.  History is being re-written because I'm no around to remind you fools why I pulled the plug on the site.  That site was killed at the height of success.  Sorta.  I mean I paid for a dedicated server to run that site.  I supported you all for about a year while trying to build a proper revenue stream so the site would pay for itself.  After all you guys are cheap!  You pay for one video game a year and play it all year!  You don't go outside and get any sun for all I know.   The game is a time sink!  Get a life!

I pulled the plug after I the first quarter renewal of all your credit cards came due and 90% of your credit cards were declined!  That is off the charts for dead beats in any industry folks!   So I wasn't about to waste my time after year of hard work on so many guys that did nothing but complain and give nothing back to the community.

I walked away from the video game for a good reason.  It was NOT my life.  It was a F'n game guys.  It still is just a game.  ...   more »

This week a friend and neighbor died.   I’ve had some ups and downs over this.  To begin, she never told me she was ill and dying.  The day she died I didn’t know what to do.  I saw the paramedic van, but just couldn't bring myself to go to her house and inquire. 

Just two days before, Sandy had left her truck in the driveway running.  She said it was locked and she would have to wait until her husband got home with spare keys.  I stayed there a few minutes to talk to her trying to make sure for myself that she was alright.  Something didn’t seem right.  I tried to find a way to open the hood so I could perhaps kill the engine.   But then returning to speak to her, I had to ask her for certain, are you sure you locked yourself out?  Are you sure you are OK?   She said yes.  I went and checked all the doors and in fact the drivers door was unlocked.   I shut the truck off and handed her the keys.  She thanked me sincerely.

Something didn’t seem right. I couldn’t put my finger on it.

I checked on her again the next day. 

I really didn’t understand but something wasn’t right.  Just three months ago she was there for me and my kids and all this time I didn’t know she was dying.   At the funeral yesterday it was revealed that she knew for some time she would pass.   As I paid my last respects at her coffin, flowers were inside with the words, “Mommy” beneath them.  I just fell apart.  My lips couldn’t stiffen ...   more »

This year my little league team won a shut-out game 10-0.  I remember telling them, "Enjoy this moment boys.  They don't happen often."  I wanted them to understand that when something great happens, you have to savor it and appreciate it.

Today was my great day and I savored it, I appreciated it.  From good news from court to my son getting his first bike with training wheels (his grandparents came over the house with a new bike for him), to much more.  The lady in my life and talk at night for hours and there is something to be said for peace-of-mind.  

Tomorrow is the beginning of Canal Day weekend.  Fireworks and games for the kids.  This year I'm a volunteer.  It will be a busy weekend with friends and loved ones... 

Tonight I've been working on my part two of the Aeroplane City trilogy, DangerMan.  It's funny each time I set down to continue this story I think more and more like Dalton.  I also find myself in so many character roles.  It can get hard.  You have to imagine yourself in the role of a woman when trying to write Araby.  And that can be hard.  You want view how she desires love from the feminine viewpoint, but when you have known tough unfeeling women as I have, you have to wonder if love really is the ultimate desire for a woman.  It makes you rethink some of the character motivations despite already having set the character standards up a long time ago.

My other challenge is the world of Aeroplane City.  I think of the detail and how that effects the infrastructure of this world I've created.  It is daunting.  You write and then days later you come back and find you want to make something better and more believable.  After all, every little detail needs to be believable when you are trying to get your reader to accept a normally unbelievable world.

DangerMan is a character so near and dear to me. He's easy to write but hard to explain.  After all, DangerMan is me on paper, living a life that I would attempt to live had I had to make the decisions he has to make.  I would take a bullet for someone I loved, so DangerMan has to live that way.  I would walk away from love if it meant losing my honor, So DangerMan (Dalton) would do the same.  I would throw down my pride for love, so again DangerMan has to display that same quality even though it is a ...   more »

The billboard reads, “Life is short, get a divorce.”   Tell me one person that agrees with this method of advertising legal services?  Being recently divorced I think I’m fully qualified to weigh on this subject.  My perspective is that it is sad. 

What does that billboard really mean?  Nobody is fooled, it means one thing said many different ways, “married people, look what you are missing.”  It means, “Go ahead, quit on someone that loves you.”  It means, “Quitting is for winners.” CorriFetman the divorce attorney defending this ad in news pieces has the gall to imply the billboard ad is (get this) “gusty, unique, outcome oriented…”

The firm that created this ad claims that it offers hope and is optimistic.  They give no consideration that the ad is clearly designed to motivate people to give up on their marriage, and if they do… there are victims to this act.   Look at me, my youngest son at four actually prays at dinner at grace saying, “…and let mommy and daddy get back together.” 

I wish Corri would call me.  Believe me; she’d get some compelling words.  She’d get a sense of the humanity she seemingly lacks.  But let’s face it; someone that lacks a moral compass won’t be bothered by anything they hear.  Her words, “we don’t cause divorce, people cause divorce, lawyers don’t.” are a cope out.   The fact is simple, using logic I once learned when I sang in a band, “your audience will find you” (play whatever style music you desire), this firm is really advertising this message, “we have no moral compass, if you don’t either, hire us.”

I do believe a good lawyer is an ...   more »

OK, I'm a life long Phillies fan.  I don't get upset, or wound up over losses.  I just don't.  It sucks that is true, but it is only baseball.  But what does get under my skin is when a person or even in this case an organization is in denial.   I won't go on, we all watch them if you are local to Philly that is...  But every year I got to their website and they are not the best team in the league.  But they live in denial on that web site! 

Can't they just admit to struggling or wishing they could have done something better?  Instead EVERY TIME you launch the homepage you get that stupid video of them doing the ONE single great thing in the last 10 games!  LOL

I mean they could lose six games in a row, but you'll get a high-light of them turning a double play followed by a towering home run shot.  And those highlights will be from games they lost!  The don't even show a highlight of a homerun from a game they won!  LOL  How I long for the day I can see a walk off home run highlight on the day they win a game!   Is it too much to ask guys? Yer killing me over here...

I'm one for privacy.  My home is my sanctuary.  Over the years I've jumped at chances to keep my personal information private even if I'm a public person. :) The average adult person receives average of 41 pounds of advertising mail.  That’s beyond the mail you actually expect and receive.

The down side of this excercise you have to do the leg work. Be aware you should do this for every person in your home over the age of 13.  If you move, do it again.  If you do this it will take up to three months to see noticeable results.

How Do I Opt Out?

For pre-screened credit card and home refinance offers which pull their information from the four credit bureaus Equifax, Experian, TransUnion, and Innovis.