I think when we are single we hope to meet someone ...we envision meeting someone that makes us trip over our own thoughts.   To meet that person, we need to somehow jump into an environment that takes us outside our own comfort zone.  Somewhere that despite how great we may think we are, that person we want to meet is so much better.  Heaven forbid we actually accomplish this, because really - few of us ever do.   But if we should accomplish meeting that person in that environment we would doom ourselves because we would trip over own own thoughts. 

I'll get to the answer soon.  Let me digress.

Hey you are reading this so let's just assume you are cool with getting deep on you at the moment.  After all, for me today is a special day.   Nope. I'm a jack-ass I won't tell you why.  But let me just tell you that it's a day that's made me think about mortality and the reason why people push themselves so hard to never be alone.  I have children, I'm not alone.  I have a great family. I'm loved.   But I did have a wife once, one that I loved dearly, and even if I loved someone that wasn't in it for love, I at least imagined or believed I existed in a relationship where a real bond existed.  I discovered in divorce that people whom survive it do change their values.  The cynicism that exists in a divorced person isn't something they are happy to harbor.  But for the bad it brings, it does something good too.  It forces you to look at people and love more closely.  The concept of love takes on a much more personal meaning.  Yeah, love is personal but how you see it and what it truly is to you now is something I've taken some time to be able to articulate into words.  Here they are.  Love is a myth.  A good myth.  No harm in it.  Love is desire.  When you love someone you 'desire' them.  I wrote once that I was a finer momentum called love.  I never knew how true those words where until I was divorced and I examined what I needed in  love.   Love moves forward, it must be nurtured and the person you are with must offer you an energy that not only feeds you but pushes you.  And here is the key.  You must - MUST do the same for that person you are with.  That is the finer momentum of love.  In love, I've learned to take time to get to know a person and understand our future.  Trust may be a big problem for divorcees, so I won't go there, but for everyone whom is single for whatever reason there is a common answer.  Making your heart skip or thinking some one is too good for you and thinking you needs someone so great you don't deserve them is not the way you should envision love.

The answer.  The answer is simple really.  Balance.  The person we would be most happy with would be balanced with us.  And not necessarily and equal.  More like a yin to your yang.    The darkness to your light so-to-speak.   Then again, perhaps that is why we try to reach beyond ourselves for a perfect mate.  We hope to find someone that keeps us in check or balances us. 

Harmony after all is predicated on differences.  So maybe it's not so bad to hope you meet someone that makes you trip over your own thoughts.