A friend I know just announced she is getting married.   Upon learning this I of course congratulated her and told her I had some advice for her.  But then someone arrived to break up the happy moment.  We decided to discuss it later, but as I thought of it... since she reads my blog... I'm going to offer this advice to her and anyone considering marriage.   Now before you say... "Lars you failed at marriage, who are you to give advice?"   I argue that I did not fail.  I certainly personally did not fail.   I remained faithful and I was able to make a good go of it for 9 years despite what I had learned was someone that really wasn't in the marriage for love.    And don't you dare call me bitter. I think love is a great thing. No... I know love is a great thing.  While I had been bitter and everyone deserves that emotion for a period of time...I didn't remain bitter.  So allow me now to share what I've learned and how you can do it right.

Before I dive in, I do have one more thing to add.  I am writing a memoir for my children to read and pass on to their children one day, similar to what Shakespeare wrote with Polonius’ advice to his son Laertes.   I hate to think of being gone from this world, but my legacy will be what I’ve experienced and learned and how I’ve lived this life.  Much of what I’m about to share comes from a portion of my memoir.    The things you read about how I learned from my own marriage… are omitted in the copy of my memoir.  I don’t share anything with my children that can be perceived in the least bit of disrespect to their mothers.

Some I will ...   more »

WRITERS NOTE: Ladies, this article is not written to the female audience. Please don't try and understand men as God just made is different.  Or as I'm known to quote often as Hi said in Raising Arizona.... "H.I. Junior cepts me as I am, I think ya just better had to!"

In today's society many of us men have the difficult duty of being not only a man, but father and/or husband.  This means everything changes in regards to your male hormones and instincts. 

Yes... I'm referring to that dreaded word... Domestication. :) LOL  You could even call them... suburban values. 

What is 'domestication"?  For one, it is not the dumb ass metafictional guy following his wife around who doesn't know how to open a stroller.  TV commercials may dumb us down with these type representations,  but I assure you the domesticated man is not insulted by this title.  The crux of the problem men have with the term “domestication” is the key word “taming” and the process an animal goes through to become domestic or more human.  The intellectual male knows better.  You can be civilized, dignified and cultured and still be wild at heart.  The stereotype of the domestic man is evolving.  It has evolved.   Some even throw the term, “metrosexual” at men whom have a domesticated edge so to avoid the term “domestic”.   A domesticated man may have an ego, but that confidence is relegated to days off when out playing paintball with the guys perhaps.  This behavior is unrequited and women are not delirious for a man with these qualities despite their espousing that this characteristic in a man is priceless.   Domestication is more than just a textured, cultured personality.   It is certainly not just the fact you know what colors ...   more »

What does it mean to be a single parent let alone a parent? Ultimately it means sacrifice.  The life you once lived for your own wants and desires takes a back seat to the importance of your children. 

Have you ever been to a store where a child comes off as annoying yet their own parent dotes on them?  Or better yet the parent simply allows their child to go on being annoying without any real concern.  Either way you only see an annoying child.   But... when it is your child.  Everything matters.  They are your entire focus.  The little things they do while you are waiting in line, matter.  The words they say, the mannerisms they display.  If you are a good parent, you pick up on all of it.

My children and I go everywhere together.  Except for my specific days off as a full time father of two... I can tell you we are joined at the hip.  We rely on each other for discussion.  My children learn as I teach.  I'm always getting questions that come from all over.  "Dad... what is the longest pass ever made in a football game?"  And yes... I'm expected to know the answer.

My little one's questions are easier because I've already been through it once before for the most part.  But they never get any less important.   The most amazing thing to me is how both of my children sponge up information.  My youngest son exhibits everything you'd expect to have read in a book about younger siblings.  He doesn't just "try" to keep up with his older brother... he expects to keep up.  He keeps up. 

Both my boys feed off each other for knowledge, entertainment and companionship.    They both in turn, come to me for guidance, refereeing and thankfully... ...   more »