I've often admired that statement.    I never really thought it always necessary, at least not until recently in life.   Due diligence can be found in other terms like cover your ass, and even read into the idiom "Speak softly but carry a big stick."

You see, as a man that has been falsely accused of things by someone I cared for, I have to say I get the idea behind due diligence and how speak softly but carry a big stick has similar meaning. To most of us the latter means, "try to get along, but be prepared to use force to make sure the people you are directing do as you say." 

But for me, I've learned it means this.  "Be nice, but cover your ass."  It also means, "Do the right thing, but make sure you have protection against those that you trust the most".  Be kind and decent folks but don't leave yourself open to being used.

I've written articles about men (or women) being vulnerable when in love, and anyone that has been married knows you are most vulnerable when married.  Your trust is then completely wide open.  I could write an entire book on this subject but I'll stay off it now.

As a man whom is victim of betrayal, it changed me.  While I am happily dating, the word love seems almost alien to me. I don't think it an impossible word, but the change in me is stark and striking from how I was when married.  

Where am I headed with this?

Well, when you find out you were in the company of pure evil, you realize you need to take a cold hard look in the mirror and learn how to never be taken advantage of again.   How does one do that?  This ...   more »

How to Love

Love is a myth, built on a dream, broken by desire and bound to every man’s heart.

                                                                                                -Lars Hindsley

I’ll break this down in two sections, finding love, and being in love. 

How to love is hard.  Love is a hard word.  To begin, you can’t love anyone until you learn to love yourself.  Not a narcissistic love, but a feeling of contentment with yourself.  You must know who you are so you know what your value to someone else is. I’m not saying you should relish being alone, but can you be good at it?  Again, loving yourself is not a self-centered love of ones-self.  It is about knowing what you want out of life, where you are going, how you will get there and whatever journey you may be on you are comfortable with it. 

YOUR LOVE WILL FIND YOU

To love, you should be worth something to someone.  And perhaps the best you are is just an every day man or woman that simply wants no more than to be a housewife or working man.  But remember this, you will draw a like person depending on the world around you.   If you want to marry an actress, you don’t stand much of a chance working on the corner dime store.  You may need to face up that the love you search for is a love you have not set yourself up for.  I’ll speak of this more soon but lets stay with the point of drawing like minded people.  There is saying I learned of when I sang in a band years ago, “Your audience will find you.”  That meant that we needed ...   more »

What if?

How many of us have asked this question? How many of us have so desperately wanted to step back in time and turn another corner.   What if...

It can haunt you if you are living a life you wish had gone differently.   But if you are like me, your “What if” always ends in, “then ---- wouldn’t be in my life” or “I wouldn’t be with ----”.   So you accept the bad with the good. 

What if...  What if goes well beyond what if my team didn’t win the big game.  It’s so much more.  What if you had not read that book?  Or what if you had not been influenced by what others had to say?  What if I had not taken that job?  What if I had decided to follow my heart instead of my head?  What if, usually always comes down to this though...