(Written during separation and divorce)

Life is amazing thing.  It doesn't matter who you are, we all want that one friend that will make you feel like you can take on the world and win.   That one person that when you come home at the end of the day will make you feel not just "alive" but 'ALIVE!" 

But to have that person that makes you feel dynamite you have to be worth living for.  You got to get out there and get em!  Every day you gotta bounce out of that bed, you got to open you heart when love comes along and let it fall.

You gotta believe in love.  It doesn't matter who you are.  You can't be too tough for love.  It's a treasure some of us don't get once in a lifetime.  If it's love you want, you've got to be worthy of it.  You can't be worthy of it if you don't open your heart to it.   Love stands out you know... it's like a path full of sunlight.  It's like a moon breaking off the grid for those in a mathmatical life, and it begins to sail across the starry night shining down directly on you while you dance in it's bright light while the darkness frames you.    Love is strong, stronger than hate, stronger than pride, stronger than bitterness and it offers hope to anyone that believes they don't have to be alone.   But before you can love, you've got to be worthy of it.

You have to be all the colors of the rainbow, you can't be just the darks, or the reds.  You can't be just the blues either.  You've got to offer it all, to get it all.   And yes risk is involved.  Risking your emotions.

If you have any hope left, take a chance on love.  You just step out on the edge and let it reach back for you.  Have faith and it will reach back from that empty space in front of you.  Like magic. :)

So for anyone out there wondering if I'm too tough for love... Yeah.  I have been.   Been smacked around when I felt I didn't earn my misery.   You all told me I was stupid for loving someone in a dream.   That's OK, some dream, some do.   I didn't just love someone from a dream, I loved someone I dreamed about. We all make mistakes.  That was a good thing and I was a better man for it.   Better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all.  Good luck to her I say. I forgive that person.

But here is the best part.  Love is way too grand to think I should be finding answers.  Love isn't floating in the the clouds... love is fulfilled when someone else takes the fun out of being alone.  Until then, you live alone but you don't lie to yourself about what it is you want.  Then one day, wham! Love comes quickly.   Then no matter where you go, you can't get away from it. 

Turn off the lights... close your eyes... dream.   And then open your eyes and begin to move because the mind moves towards what it sees.

I won't live alone.  I won't live a lie.  I will be someones dream. Not tomorrow, maybe not anytime soon... then again, maybe I already am.   My life isn't the open book this article may paint... but my life is one of optimism.  I already know I'll be happy with someone worth while because the mind moves towards what it sees.

WRITERS NOTE: One year later and things are good.  You forgive the people you need to and focus on family and future.  Looking back doesn't do much.  Reflecting is OK, living in the past is not.  Remember what good times there were and be happy for all you learned. 

WRITERS NOTE: One year and a half later... I stand by these words.