Lately I've found a great deal of happiness.  Sure there are bumps in the road.  Heck some people even attack you but you go on.  But today I want to send out thanks, especially to one person whom must remain un-named.  She knows who she is.  What do I want to thank everyone for?  And her?

Well, my life has changed for the better in the past few months.  If it were not for a past shake-up in my life I would not have so much positive change.  But I'll get to that soon. 

You see sometimes you have to be well beyond a problem in order to look back on it and reflect.  I’ll do that now.   So be assured, this is looking back.  I’m not upset or rattled one iota.  Assume so and that is a mistake.

I need to thank people somewhat abstractly and I can't mention their names for my protection and theirs.  Until certain things in my life finish settling, my story can never really be told.  Until then, all I can really do is make sure that the people helping me know that I have heartfelt thanks; from customers of my business, to family and friends.  You all know who you are and what you've done for me.  I'd even like to thank the strangers that stepped into my life for the soul purpose of helping someone in need.  My children may never know your kindness but I will always will and I'll raise them to know that the kindness of strangers could have profoundly helped them in life and that they too may one day be in a situation where they see others in need and do the right thing.  I thank you so much.

Pride is a heavy yoke in life and I know one person that has destroyed all that was dear to them because they wear the yoke of pride to this day.  Some people can never say they are wrong.  I have.  And I speak today as a man that no longer wears the yoke of pride. 

It's hard in this world to be a strong man and yet be sensitive. 

I took years of abuse for allowing myself to be caring towards certain people. 

Again, I'll leave names out of this for now.  But my point is I was in a victim in an abusive relationship.  I was a man being abused mentally, as were my children.  I sometimes encountered physical abuse and so had my children.  I've heard that sometimes people accept their prison and don't know any other life.  I think I was there.  In fact I know I was.  To any man reading this, please know you are not alone.  My suggestion is to get help fast.  Don't assume you can let all the little battles go.  Don't assume that you should "pick your fights".  When you are clearly right and being abused, you just have to not be an "enabler".  Each time you “let it go” you award the abuse and unknowingly tell them it is OK to continue the abuse.  They won’t stop until you stop them.  But I digress, this is not what this article is about...

And yet it is.  I'm happy. I'm in a better place.  Which brings me to thanking one person.  Had it not been for you, I would not have met the special people in my life.  I would not have changed personally my own physical routine which has really made an impact on my life.  Heck, my body fat is now 3%.   From a physical perspective alone I'm very happy with the changes in my life.  They say turn lemons into lemonade, well I sure did.  But that is such a small part of the good things that have taken place for me.  Had it not been for you I would not have met kinder people. Had it not been for you, I would not have improved so much.  Had it not been for you, I would have not expanded my life the way I have now.  My life is so different and so much better than it was before that I have to laugh.  My home has changed into a great place to be.  My family has drawn closer.  So many of my distant relatives are no longer distant relatives.  People that never knew me, care about me.  I even have new daily activities that I didn't participate in before.  The most important thing is that I settled my differences with God.  And that is one I just won't discuss other than to give him the credit where it is due. 

It is so hard to thank the people that need thanking today because I can't mention your names.  Not for some time.  But I promise a day will come when I can give you a better thanks.  Not just here in a mention but by returning you the kindness you gave to me.   I have a list in my mind of all the people that one day I will always owe a debt of gratitude.  I can't forget as you helped me understand my situation better.  You helped me get outside of my problems some time ago and brought me to this better place.  When I lay in bed at night I feel a comfort and peace I wasn't sure I'd get to.   When I go to bed at night... It is a great feeling.

For such a tough man, I never realized I'd have to face a crisis like I faced this past fall and winter.  It should have destroyed me and made me doubt who I was, and frankly early on for a while it did.   But I was conscious of that and new my problem was bigger than me and let go of my pride and turned to you.  Thanks, thanks thanks. 

I'm here to tell you, once again, these are the salad days.  Slowly being eaten away.  I will look back on this part of my life's journey some day and be proud of how I grew through it. But only because of friends.  Thanks.

And thank you to that one person that changed everything.  Were it not for you, none of the good things in my life would have come to me today.  Thanks. :)

-Lars