I'm 38, and when I was 17 I kept a diary called Nobody's Diary. The Internet was vaporware at the time and keeping a diary meant actually typing it or writing it. The year was 1982. It was a great year. Bands like ABC and Tears for Fears were releasing ground breaking work. Obscure bands such as Loz Netto and Baxter Robertson were getting a shot at the big time via MTV. But for me, it meant loads of better music. Better than the same classic rock that typical rock stations were jamming down your neck. I recall naming my journal Nobody's Diary after a song by the band Yaz. I plucked the name up because I was heavily into spies and detectives at the time. Hence the name of my company SpyProductions. I always loved the concept of what a spy and detective embodied. They are people that deny themselves everything in regards to self. They must portray themselves as someone else in order to protect their true identity. Yet their true identity is worthless because they don't ever get the chance to be themselves. They are a paradox. To be a spy you need to look at life from a different slant. You size people up in deeper ways than most people. For instance if you see a woman for the first time you don't just listen tot he words she says, but you judge her by the strength in her step and the power in her voice. It is now what she says but how she says it. You also take time to asses her character from what she owns, how she keeps a room, and how she dresses. Likewise a detective sees everything. They take time to put history back together based on the remnants of time. I could go on. Spies understand it is the loneliest job in the world. To be caught behind enemy lines means not only to lose those you love but your country too. There could be no greater sense of alone than that. You must be strong person to take on this job. You might say a spy or detective is 'friendless'. To this end, I identified with a spy at a young age. I named my diary, Nobody's Diary for these very reasons. I recall that when I was young a song by Spandau Ballet had the verse, "These are the Salad Days, slowly being eaten away..." The Salad Days is an expression coined by Shakespeare. It means the good times, the times you remember fondly, it means times in the past. Salad Days meant past tense yet Tony Hadly sung of Salad Days in the present. That meant you needed to enjoy a special moment as it occurred. Don't wait until later to appreciate it. You need to appreciate special times as they happen. When I met young women of my age, I spoke of this and to some, it meant I was wiser than my days and for what it was worth, romantic. Now I'm 38. Not a young boy any more but I still recall the Lars Hindsley I once was and feel I'm still that hopeless romantic. What is missing are the old friends that accepted you for what you were because none of us knew much better. All we knew is friendship and what were we planning for the next weekend. From those one day beach trips to the occasional camping trip and everything in between like buying and riding your first motorcycle there were some amazing moments in time that I now must call the Salad Days. Because at 38, with a wife and two sons, I'm realizing that in many ways my time is over. I'm all business. I'm working to better my class, I'm working to improve my house, I'm working to please my wife. I'm working to feed my sons. I don't work for me anymore. I do what I do for others. I'm not sad or down about this but I long for a time when my friends where around and we had free time beyond measure and not a care in the world. Sure we thought we had cares and responsibilities but really... we didn't. I look back on my life with few regrets but I look back and think I could have done better. I could have used time to make things better now. The question is if I had that chance, when would I have decided to make better use of my time. Just in school? Only when I began working for a corporation? When? In the end I know that we all have to follow our own path but I can only say for sure that I miss the Salad Days.