The Modern Rules of Men for Women

These are a set of rules, answers and instructions all women must abide by with their man.  You should have no problem memorizing them all as women have the capacity to never forget. 

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

We are not shallow because we are honest.  You only call us shallow because we are honest. 

We know if we answer a question you'll just ask another.  That is why we leave the room.

We say we are sorry because we know you won't.

Jewelry is the stupidest thing a man can spend his money on. 

We don't like shopping because we don't want to carry your bags.

We can't be what you want us to be because we still need to be deprogrammed from what our last girlfriend made us to be.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.